Welcome to the two cent dad podcast where we interview dads to discuss their journeys of intentional fatherhood while doing work they care about and living a life of purpose. I'm your host mike Sadiq,

it was just at the beginning of this week of just um you know the universe is saying, hey your your dad now, you know, go go to it and it was just this week of I think a little bit of loneliness being a little bit isolated um and kind of going through this thing, like you know, there has to be other parents nearby that has a daughter my age, you know, rather than just meeting random parents at the store or at the playground, having these great conversations and then never never seeing them again.

Some lol joins the podcast today, some is a 10 year veteran of the startup space in new york. He recently relocated to L. A. Area where he launched his app connecting, which is essentially Tinder for parents, so connecting you with like minded parents around you. Really interesting um and some really interesting insights on his journey as he built that app while he had a young daughter at home, kind of scratching his own itch, so let's jump into the interview with some, well, hey, some, I really appreciate you being on the podcast. I know you have a pretty cool background about a decade in different startups starting in new york now you're in L. A. Your most recent app is connecting which is helping trying to connect parents with other parents and then parents with products um I think it's been dubbed kind of the Tinder of parenting but hey I just wanted to kind of have you give a little background on yourself and and kind of where you're at and your parenting role now so.

sure well thanks Mike. Thanks for having me love the podcast that you guys are doing. Yeah so I've been in startups for most of my life for over 10 years. I'm a new yorker by by birth and there's still obviously some new york in me. Um But yeah started in new york. I worked for a company called Link Share. Um Actually really started with an economics background and worked for a fund of funds. Uh Early two thousand's um decided that was not for me and went and worked for a company called Link Share. Um And worked there for about 4.5 years mostly in business development and sales. And moved out here to the West coast back in 8 2009. Found a home at savings dot com. Um And then uh you know kind of went on from there so all of the various different roles uh partially and sales and business development got a little bit of product. Uh And then about 3.5 years ago um I had my first daughter first and only and

my congratulations thank

you. Um And my life's never been the same for the better since then it's been really a wonderful ride.

Cool. And then your wife is like an actress right? She's like on C. S. I. Or

something. She she is in the entertainment field. Yeah she was she's on Rizzoli and Isles, she's on a bunch of shows. Um And actually it kind of ties into sort of how how you know connecting was actually born because she was she was on the show um called Nashville and she had to travel back and forth quite a lot and She was gone for about I think my daughter was around 12 months 13 months old. She was gone for about eight days which isn't really a lot as I tell the story but as a first time father with no help

and I've been there before, you know freaking out a little bit,

you know. Exactly and no uh no family nearby obviously because we live in Los Angeles and um you know I think the longer version of the story is really that you know all the milk that she had stored for me and all the food that she had prepped to help to help me with this week. Uh it was that night that the that the refrigerator went kaput. So I woke up the next morning like 5 30 there's literally nothing there nothing around me. And so I'm hustling and it was just at the beginning of this week of just um you know the universe saying hey your your dad now you know, go go to and it was just this week of, I think a little bit of loneliness um being a little bit isolated and kind of going through this thing like, you know, there has to be other parents nearby that has a daughter my age rather than just meeting random parents at the store or at the playground, having these great conversations and then never, never seeing them again. And you know, a couple of years before I'd run into uh sean rad and, and, and Adam Huey who were Shawn founder of Tinder and Adam, it was part of the IC labs, the mobile labs that they had and you know,

the Tinder was taken off here in west Hollywood and, and in Los Angeles and around the country and I was saying, well there's another group of people that, you know, needs that really need to be, to be, to be matched. Uh it could be, you know, dad to dad, dad with daughters that are both three years old, whatever it may be. Um there's a group of people here that that form quite a unique ecosystem locally and nationally and so I kind of set off to build, you know, I guess the tender in terms of matching of parenting.

Yeah, no, I think that's a great idea, I think it's a huge need, I mean I feel like when I became a parent and then you're at the at the park or at the store, it's like, it is almost like a return to dating. You're like, I want to see that person again, like to ask for their number. Like what do I do? You don't see him again and maybe you see him again at the playground again, you know, or something and you kind of like trying to, you're trying to force something almost. It's out there, you know? Yeah,

absolutely. It's, it's really, you know, before preschool those first two years, but there's no structure, the best thing I can kind of, you know, give an example to, it's kind of like, you know, when to motorcycle. Um, uh, let's kind of pass each other on the highway and they kind of just have a nod. You know, I found myself as a father,

you know, strolling my daughter around like giving a nod to another dad as we passed each other on the street, you know, going, going on walks and, and it's like this, uh, I think just parents, dads and moms and single parents and same sex parents. I mean they're just their parents that, that are out there that just are looking for some sort of help support camaraderie. Um, and, you know, in this day and age, I think technology is the answer to help sort of, you know fill that gap.

So, um, tell me a little bit about kind of the development of that and then what you've kind of seen it as far as the success or failure of it and and where it's at now.

Sure. So you know, and I wrote about this a little bit on, on my blog, on medium. It was just, it was an idea um and just give a little bit more about my background. I think it's pretty interesting. I'm not a developer, I do not code um which is, I think one of the first deterrents for a lot of people out there saying, hey, you know, I have an idea for an app or a website or, or a solution and they don't, but you know, they're not developers so they don't take the next step.

And I think the first thing for me was to sort of get over that hurdle saying, alright fine, you know, but if I was, if I could do this, what would it look like? So I literally, my first steps were real baby steps. They, it was an idea number one that just didn't leave me alone. I mean four o'clock in the morning. I had another idea for how this could work or how you would scroll and look at parents and see their backgrounds and I just started drawing. I'm not an artist either. I'll share some sketches with you because I'm, I'm definitely not an

artist, but I just,

I just wrote the concepts down of what I wanted, I wanted, I wanted this thing to look like and to do and slowly, I I put that into envision um I made, you know, I literally drew this thing in keynote, so it's not even photoshopped for all those people that are super not tech savvy. Um I, you know, I didn't go that far, I just copied and pasted a bunch of things. There's a great website called UX Archive out there. It pretty much shows you ace screenshot of all the popular apps out there and it shows you onboarding experiences to log on experiences to tutorial slides of really just famous, you know, famous and really large popular apps. And so I started understanding these concepts and I sort of piecemeal, my own,

my own app together through that. And I create a prototype, a nontechnical prototype in, in envision and I put it on my phone and then I went straight to the, to the playground. Um and I started talking to the parents

and I said, if

you know, if this was out here, you know, would you, would you use it? And unequivocally. Um every parent said yes, they also had, you know, ideas from me saying yes and I'd love it to do X, y and z. But you know, that was sort of, my first feedback loop is to say, hey, before I I do this, let's let's test this in the market.

So that's what I did. Um eventually uh talk to my brothers and you know, grab some some money from friends and family. Um And uh set off found a because I'm not a developer and I don't have the best friends that's like a C. T. O. Uh which those stories kind of annoying me because I think most people don't have C. T. O. Best friends or someone that they just work with, that's a C. T. O. I found team local here in Los Angeles. Um And eventually you know it's a longer story but on my way to a dev team um out of country that built my app for me and that was a long yeah those those kind of a long process in and of itself learning how to product manager and uh you know talk about design and just communicate with with with engineers especially bring something to life. So um so yeah so so you know fast forward.

Last year february. We launched the app by the summer of last year we were on the Today Show and some NBC coverage. Um And today we have thousands of parents across the U. S. I think in 49 states um that are communicating through the app that are finding products that are relevant to them and sharing that with other people. Um And um And yeah it's really a great uh you know a great app and a great solution right now.

No that's awesome. I think it's a huge need. I mean like I said I I think it's a really cool idea. I think that it's a awkward place, especially like you were saying before kindergarten, before preschool, before there's any structure around the kids schedule and then you're actually getting designated time with like other parents that you're gonna see them regularly and then you build relationships, you're kind of in this weird spot. And I think that that even if you're in school, I think there's a, there's a lot of opportunity for two. But no, I think it's a really cool idea. I mean, I hope it takes off.

I mean, and, you know, we're very blessed. Everything's been very organic. We don't pay for pr we don't have a pr team. Um uh, you know, I think after the Today Show and the NBC segment that was syndicated, uh, you know, we have parents joining from, you know, everywhere from like North Dakota and Nebraska to new york and L. A. And Seattle in all different types of parents. You know,

this is not a dad app or a mom app. We have single parents. We have divorced and widowed parents. We have same sex parents that are looking for, um, you know, parents near them. And, and beyond that, you know, to your, to the point that you brought up, this is not necessarily an app that's just for those who have, you know, a two year old, we have products on there for parents that have teenagers and are looking for other parents that are,

you know, have teenagers and I think, you know, the product section of the app was our answer to uh, to getting out of just the, you know, the baby and the toddlers market. Um, we have products, pretty much any product available on amazon is available on the app and it's recommended and talk to and uh, and shared with other parents near uh, near you. So it's a really great, um, a great spot that we're in growing

month, over month. Yeah, curious what were some of the things that you had assumed, um, that you would like in the app, like when you were building it, basically, you were, that you were, you were scratching your own itch, right, You know, and so what were some of the things that were, some surprises you showed them to people and you said, oh, I never thought about that or this is something that I thought was good, but no one really liked it.

That's a good question mike, I think, you know, let me think on that for a second. I think one of the things that I thought was going to be just easier, um, you know, so, and this goes back to, to uh, sort of my experience as a first time entrepreneur, um, is really just, just a whole login and sharing process with with facebook, everyone does that and it is, and it can be relatively, you know,

easy, but I thought, you know, everyone's just gonna share the app, right? Yeah, viral

coefficient, everyone's just

gonna parents and you know, it just, it's not like that. I think one of the things just from a concept that a little bit harder is that there's a constant sense of engagement that you as the brand or the app or the website that needs to happen with your customer, you need to really, really know them. Um uh, and that's why the analytics platforms are so important. Um, we use local itics, so we dive a little bit deeper and we understand, you know, one last time they engaged in the application, what's the right messaging and targeting that we can, we can give them, oh they have a daughter, um that's under three years old.

Um there might be better products for them. So I think overall, I think, I thought it was easier conceptually, you know, because we're all consumers, we get notifications, notifications, and emails and these multimillion dollar websites make it look easy. Um, there's a lot of behind the scenes automation and infrastructure that really need to go into that specific targeted messaging um, on, on different platforms to the consumer and I think I took that for granted early on.

Yeah, no, I could definitely see that, I mean that there's a sense that it will just take off, you know, and then it's, oh crap, we got to do a lot more than we thought, but also we have to pay attention to what is the actual product that not only the marketing side of it, but actual the actual building of the product, like you said, make sure that it's up to snuff and it's actually performing to the level of people expected to perform,

which is amazon. Absolutely. But just to piggyback on that last point is just that there are these little Ux things I think that really bugged me. Um, and uh for instance, you know, every time we're in an app and you know, a menu slowly scrolls up and slowly scrolls down. Um we take that for granted, but it's those little things that if you don't have it slowly scroll up and scroll down it's going to appear and it's gonna disappear really harshly and that's now great experience. People don't expect that because we've been exposed to the Air B. N. B. S and the facebook apps of the world where everything is beautiful and well aligned and soft and logical and yeah, we really had to peel back the onion to understand a couple of those user experience of how things are flowing and aligned and font sizes and just things you really take for granted as a consumer.

Yeah, no definitely that makes sense. Um well to switch gears a little bit. Some um when you were building, connecting, you know, you have this great idea, you know, kind of you had this pain that you're solving yourself and which is you're trying to find and connect with other parents and then you build the app, explain to me how maybe the app took on a kind of a mind of its own or you know, kind of pulled you away from, you know, your maybe your role as a dad or kind of the struggle as you're trying to put your heart and soul into this thing that you're building that you care so much about and at the same time being there for your for your your

daughter, just

explain that to me or just maybe talk through that and how you experience that may be, where you failed, where you succeeded

in that. Yeah, I think I think that's another great, you know, great question. I think it's something that all entrepreneurs especially, you know, parent entrepreneurs have to kind of go through. Um I was kind of in this interesting space of um you know, being the primary caretaker for for a period of time um for my my daughter. So I think number one, it's it's it was it was really my schedule that was kind of haywire, I remember waking up um at certain parts of development or pre development at like, you know, four in the morning, because daughter woke up at 5 30 so I want to get an hour and a half in before um before she woke up, I think,

you know, I hear other entrepreneurs talking about you know the schedule they have to put in place and so it allows them to be more efficient and I wish I could, I could say that I was super diligent in doing so. But the fact of the matter is it was trying to scrape you know time and nuggets here. Um and what really taught me was just that I had to sort of start prioritizing. Um I think that it's it's a it's a nice utopia to think that you could just kind of balance everything lovely, your relationship with your wife um or your relationship with your growing child and your relationship with your with your startup. Um but you know I think I think for a period of time, you know the startup had to take um you know sort of my full attention which I didn't expect that I thought you know because you do all this reading and uh mike it is because not to say that that's where it is today, but when you're going through it you're like I need and this is you know it leads to a different point, which is you know there are a lot of lessons that I learned out of this, but you know at the beginning I needed to get um you know these notes out to the engineers because otherwise I don't know what I thought was happening right, nothing would happen. I needed to you know do this marketing document or lay out these plans, whatever the task was, there was a sense of emergency early on.

Um but I think I imposed on myself. Um but I also knew that if I didn't do it, no one else was going to do it, no one else really. This is this is your, your other baby. So you know just as a parent, if you don't teach your child, you know how to walk or don't teach them or help show them, you know a certain lesson or who else is going to do that.

So

for me I yeah, I mean those early those early months was was just a time of probably being quite selfish with my time, which I think you know, unfortunately you need to do. I think anybody that's good at their craft. I don't care if you're an actor or a writer or a teacher. Um you know you have to be a bit selfish with, with your time and what you're doing. Since then I've learned that you know, I can kind of come down from like code red, not everything is an emergency if something's not deployed next week. You know, I'm not google, I am not facebook, I'm not tender. Um it's okay. Um uh it can happen next week very rarely are there are things that need to happen within that hour.

Um but I think that for me early on, I just, you know that's the mindset that I had to just keep going because I think I had this fear that if I didn't keep going, that I would just stop the momentum, but yeah, I mean it's it's a it's a tough thing to balance, especially those in those early

days, how would you say no? I think that's that's very wise, I think most people, I talk to you, they say it's kind of a fallacy, this whole work life balance thing, it's either on or off, either you're working on your business or your project or your spending very diligent time with your family and the best is the best way to um win at that is to is to really be present wherever you're at, you know, and be cognizant of what you're doing, but not really trying to do everything. Um So I'm curious um you kinda said, you know, if you're good at your craft, you, you said that um kind of,

you should do it, but in some way or another, but how do you feel like um as connecting was taking off and you were, you were building it and seeing success that did you get, what was it healthy that you got kind of a sense of fulfillment from that, that that that kind of fed you for your time with your family. Uh does that make sense? I mean kind of saying, okay, you know, this is something you, you know, your craft was kind of the start up game, I mean you've had success in that and you you feel like that's your skill and your passion and as you spent time there you're not in a healthy way but maybe sometimes in an unhealthy way, but as you did that you kind of then we're recharged to spend time with your family. And did you, did you sense that and that when it got out of whack, you were um kind of too far in one way either, not not not charged up enough with working on stuff that you're kind of called to and skilled to or you're working too much on it and you're kind of drained,

you know? Yeah, I think um I think sort of the overall lesson that I learned was that um that I was always learning and I'll you know kind of make that parallel between entrepreneurship and being a father. Um and then parenthood really because um while I was in the startup game, I think you know, in a more general topic, you know, people are really siloed into what their job functions are, your product manager, then you're you're you're an engineer than your engineer, your beady, your sales and that's all you do. Um I was very lucky to have a manager early on at savings dot com, his name is Greg kim and he allowed me to spread my outside of a sales or B. D. Roll a little bit more of a product role and um what I learned was that I had to play a lot of different roles as a solo non technical founder of an application um and for me that led me to, you know,

realized that I didn't have all the answers, I was gonna have to learn a heck of a lot um and a lot of different functions um when I kind of turned my focus after learning that lesson from the start up to my to my daughter and as I was a parent, you know, it parallels that in a lot of ways I didn't have a lot of the answers. Um no parent does have all the answers. Um I didn't have a lot of, you know, answers on how to sort of juggle all the things that were going on with my daughter, just regular life learning um sort of milestones that were going on as well as, you know, a relationship, you know, that that first year of the first child in the first year um being a parent is incredibly stressful on that new family, so um and I realized that there was no answer, there was just something that you're gonna have to work through, just,

we work through all the issues that you work through in technology, there's always gonna be stuff that's gonna hit the fan, there's always going to be a roadblock, there's always gonna be something that's not quite exactly where you want it to be. Um and um and and the same thing in sort of parenthood, you know, there's always gonna be something else if you look at it that way, or you can just kind of flip the script, change your perspective and say, all right, well, how do we move forward? How do we uh how do I become a better father? How do I become a better participant in my home life? Um So for me, I think I had to get totally out of whack into a certain sense of sort of shut down home family life,

not for a very long period of time and then kind of be removed from it to realize, hey, you know what, um stop trying to control everything, stop trying to, you know, the answer to everything, nothing is perfect either in the app or at or with being or being with or being a parent, but you've got to be able to, you know, just roll with the punches, you gotta be able to um to learn and then sort of apply your learnings. And I think that that kind of rang true in both scenarios

for me? Yeah, no, I was just gonna say that, I think that's wise advice. I typically ask, kind of, what would you give someone that is um, expecting their first child and maybe is trying to start a startup in pieces of advice. And I think you said that in a, in a little two minute little blurb there before I even

asked it for sure. I'd also say, don't get discouraged. Um you know, it's okay again for me, my, my, my big thing was, you know, time and always trying to put out an emergency and um it's okay if you have an idea and you're gonna have, you're gonna be a parent and you have a kid on the way. For me, that was my inspiration, you know, for me, and I think I wrote about this was I, I create this thing because hey,

I found a need in the market. Yes, but also, you know, I knew that there's going to be a future conversation with my daughter at some point in time, maybe she's going off to college, maybe uh, whatever it is, and you know, I wanted her to at least see that, you know, if this thing is phenomenally successful, whatever that means, um or or or if it, if it is just what it is, it just exists that,

that I did something that I literally thought of an idea um took pen to paper and created something out of nothing. And I think that's the lesson both for me that I'm incredibly proud of, and I think, you know, a lesson for my, for my daughter that you gotta at least try. Um and, and, and, and don't worry about failing. Um it's hard to do, it's hard to say. Um but I think that was my inspiration. So for all those parents that are, you know about two start on both the path of parenthood, as well as entrepreneurship or startup do it. I mean there's no other, there's no better lesson than that, I think.

No, I think that's that's wise advice and I think like you said, future, having that thought of the future conversation in your mind I think is a powerful motivator and saying, okay, what am I actually gonna say to her? Him or, you know, multiple kids, you know? Um but thank you so much for your time. So I think there's wise words of advice and I'm anxious to maybe follow up with you um down the road, you know, as connecting takes off and maybe we can get back on the podcast again and and see where things have gone. So

for sure, Mike, thank you so much

for having me. Hey, thank you so much. Thanks for listening to the show. You can find out more about us and sign up to receive updates at two ST dot dot com if you liked what you heard or just want to say hi, you can shoot me an email at mike at Toussaint Dad dot com. Please leave a review on itunes. If you like the show, it helps us to get the word out to the most people possible. The show is made possible through the support of ec group international building software Teams since 1999.