inaudible are uneducated.

Busey's through no fault of their own. There's just a lot of missing

misconceptions out there. So, like, be prepared for your partner to come out

with some bullshit and, like, have answers to their questions and like ways to bust myths like they may have

heard all you know, all kinds Onley only

sluts. Get this not true. Anybody who's ever kissed anyone could

get her way. I welcome back to another episode of Girls Fatty. Welcome Back, Happy March. It's always the first sentence is the hardest. I'm like, Where's is gonna go? How are we doing? Yeah, I handle it before we get started, Thanks to third lover, Supporting Girl's Gotta eat Third, Love knows there's a perfect brought for everyone, and right now they're offering our listeners 15% off your first order. Go to third love dot com

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More in that stuff later, guy. Yeah. I just want to give you guys an update on tickets for live shows. First of all, we

look, last week was the first

time we ever did this, but live shows are very different than the actual podcast. Yeah, um, there like a really experience. Yeah.

And we Yeah, we tell we talked a little bit more about this, and we have some such fun stuff in store. Were developing some new segments. Yeah, we're really going to embarrass each other on

stage, which I think is the best part. Like the best moments

of, like what? I say something or you say something that we didn't think we were going to reveal is the best bards.

So embarrassed. We reveal who you slept with. We did. We got that was by accident. Yeah, it's like it happened. Boston night one so

and again. I don't want to hurt too much on tour. We gave you guys like 20 minutes of it

last week, but yeah, I I rain a You accidentally said who you've slept with flu as

far as the guests that we've had on the podcast. I mean, I lost my mind. I'd like to leave the state. So then we just said it every other show. So those kind of things you get guys could here. But anyway, still, tickets available in well again. Tampa's done.

Tampa sold out bomb. Phileas sold out. We got a couple left in Austin.

A couple left in Dallas and Miami. Yeah, maybe a Dallas is really close again. Austin. It's the second show that we added. Tampa's done,

but Miami still available? Tip up. So now I drive my car to water down Boco, where you have polka. Oh, you at all the old people, aren't they? Well, also, I'm Jewish. I spend a lot

of summers in Boca, like with my family winners. I wintered

in Boca with my family vote. So if you're wintering with your family and Boca come down to visit us, you want to be with them. Well, this is a perfect transition for Miami. Oh, no. Before that way are releasing more tickets to another world. We're announcing a very exciting and

show that we were doing in a couple weeks were in and out that next week. Yeah, well shows in a more than couple weeks more and now announcing next week. It's not

from whatever, whatever. Whatever. Next week, big announcement announcement. I'm excited back to Miami. Okay. Back to Miami. I just got back. I spent 5.5 glorious days in Miami. I go every year. This week. You came with me last

year. I did. Right after we started podcast. We had one episode under our belts and we went to Miami.

And we were, like, in Miami for the podcast. Like kidding before. Like what the fuck? If you guys remember I met, we did two episodes about the same guy I met. A guy that I really liked were like, Oh, he's so honest. An amazing second episode. We found he had a girlfriend. A living were like, Fuck this guy. Remember what I said? Oh, what the word I used,

I said, I adore adore. I adore him. I was like his honesty. Honesty. So if you guys don't know, we're talking about those aired episodes who in three where it was like episode, death, maybe three and four. Whatever 22 and three,

three and four, where we literally go off about how much we love

this guy and his honesty and such a piece of shit. Liar really took a turn there. That's what good to her. I adore him well. Anyways, this is the weekend I goto Miami every

year. This week, the third week in February for the South Beach Wine and Food Festival is the biggest festival in the country for food on because of one hungry Jew. I do like a media

thing down there. It's really fun. I go about my friends actually income this year,

but everybody asked about her where she was. Well, the reason it goes cause I'm going to Miami tomorrow that I'm going to Miami for, like, a girl strip thing, literally weak leaders. That's why don't go. I want to say I literally flew home today so we could record.

I told you I'd bring the equipment. It's fine. Miami's like Vegas like you can't be there longer than four days. You die, you die. I'm not. I can have a chill vacation in Miami. You cannot like I don't even hear from you. I'm like is she lives the longest. We didn't commitments. Like Monday.

I hear from her. She's the airport. I'm like she's alive.

The episode day always brings us back together. But you really go hard. It's the hardest five days of my life. Yeah, I'm back with shakes every year. Yeah, but I didn't tell you about this. This is very funny. So I was

I was at this restaurant that I like a lot. It's called Bodega. Well, the rest. Yes, It's a club at a restaurant, a Mexican restaurant, the front.

And why They're more fam and and a club.

If you guys were everybody goes all day. I'm saying yes, my love language. Got it for am get tacos. Uh,

but I was there in the afternoon.

I've never seen it with the daylight, but, um, two different guys I put on my instagram story that day was like, I love you. Both of them were just It was like a tall can dollars like a six before Kendall and the other one was like this fucking hot Latin man. It was like six forward lack flowy hair more He Oh, my God. I'll tell you his name Later It was

so beautiful. I know his name because both of them saw themselves on my instagram story things guys like a friend of mine from New York sent me this. It's never fail. Never found within what within like, one hour. They both dmh and then to the Latin one. And I've been talking What? Oh, my God. He was like, if you were to put a con, I was like, Why do you ask? You like you can put into my Khanna any day? I He's the hottest man I've ever seen. He took honest on so sexual to may. I was just like as a place. Yes. I mean, it just sounds like a place you just go to fuck. Yeah,

like I don't know what you're gonna do there. Yeah, I mean, probably go, baby. It's

like Fuck, I was We've been talking. So I thought that was really fun of the both of them saw themselves on my instagram. Okay, get an hour. That's not funny. It's not surprising. It's not shocking at all. It's always happened. It has. It would be shocking if they did it, but it happens every single time. Last year were Miami. We put those guys are story and then I literally I

swear they were like, looking at it. We call. We looked at them across the pool. They were, like laughing, looking at something. Their phone were like, That's

what it is. I've gotten away, have been so quick. Its it's so crazy like it is really crazy. You have a lot of followers, but you don't have, like Kardashians followers. You know what I mean? Like the whole half the world doesn't follow. You know, more people should follow may. If your listeners podcast, you should follow me and Ashley. I'm so glad you haven't done that in a while. Have gotten away from doing it cause I was like and I like to this guy for

a while and I was like, Maybe i'll stop being a creep for a little bit,

But then I was like, You know what? Fuck it. I'm This is may. If you love me, you're gonna love all of may be capturing a lot of it. This is May greatest showman. Follow me around and married. My life was song thistles May, um All right, so I survived. I'm fine I'm back a while I was away. You got accepted into something very important to both of us. Supersecret academy sound like this is some buck in Harry Potter Shit. No, I got into Riah the dating app. So crazy their standards of lowered obviously. And I want to talk about this. How do you apply? And

how do you How long did you two get another process? Ryan also for anybody doesn't know which is so weird cause it's your in a minus one letter. So even seeing the word writing the word is just so weird cause I would say, like, talk to you every day, Write your name a 1,000,000 times a day, so it's kind of weird, like, but sore ia r a y I is what I'm saying.

This is this

dating app that is like supposed to be for celebrities. It's like it's is the highest here. I think of like it was made for celebrities and famous people so they don't like have to, you know, be with the masses on, like, hinge or bumble or whatever. So it started super duper exclusive, and it was like by referral Onley you had to have no, like three people that were on it. And now, um, and I think I applied like, years ago, we didn't even fully finished the application. I can't really remember. And I think now it's gotten a little bit easier.

But you just apply. You put in your instagram handle, you connected to your social account so they look at all your stuff and then they do ask for people that you know that are on it. It pulled up my contacts and I had more than three people that were on it like Nikki Glaser was on it. I mean, she mentioned it before a couple other people. Chris Distephano mentioned he and our episode that he used to do it really have. Here is people are yeah, Matteo,

Like, Remember Matteo

mentioned it to He's a memory said he just emailed him. He was like, Hey, girl!

So I

have a friend on it. I just like, click the boxes and then like what it says. Like we're reviewing your applications so fucking cheesy and then, like a few days later that Rick, you've been accepted.

I like this idea

that, like a bunch of people who have fucker. They sit around like a board room and they like, put your education on the table and people

vote like, who are they got? Anointed as God. Also, if you have to pay like, it's not I who walks among you Very expensive. Yeah, I actually

I was texting about it cause I was jokingly texting with Krista Stephano about it, and I was like, Wait

to I just have to pay or do the real Is this free for the really famous people? And he was like, a year and has And he was like, no every page immediately. Right up immediately on Ryan. I'm five minutes

in on Riah looking at people. I get in trouble for taking screenshots

so you can take screenshots Could you can't take photo. The first person I saw, I wonder screenshot just also like ice cream shot everything. My whole phone has receipts. So, like at me too the first time I did, I think it was just I

thought it was funny. The first person I'm gonna control over this was Justin Long. You know, that is just a Maloney's actor.

Yeah, he was on and I saw Cannon Felber is so I was, like, so literally that keeps a tally of your screen shots. You will get kicked off. So it is like Soho house? No, for real. Like it said screenshot I took. It was like Well, you can't do this. Number one, Strike one And then I was like, Ok, fuck, fuck, Fuck,

I am. I take so many screenshots of everything. Second screen shot number two, I'd like up to three. Yeah,

I don't know. I have no idea. I think it's like if you really consistently keep doing it, they'll kick you off. So that was funny also, just so just so. If anybody cares about how this works, the profile is not really it's on Lee your pictures. You could have a ton, and it's your name. Your instagram handle your age where you live, where you're from, and then it's just There's no really bio,

so I can tell people are funny. I can't tell if they're tall. It's like go to their Wikipedia page goes against a handle,

and then it's just like you pick a song and it plays with a slide show of your pictures. Okay, what songs you

pack a nice for what? And I'm like every girl's going down here with nice for what?

No, everybody on that app takes himself so seriously. Every guy LCD sound system

I'm like nobody

on riot is funny or I don't know how tall they are, but all I know is that they like LCD sound system. I like Texas. Texted this to Nikki and Glazer, and she was like, That is the most accurate thing I've ever heard. I'm like, nobody's funny. Everybody loves LCD sound system. All the people that I'm like I found one guy with, like, a biggie song.

Because if your song I think that really defines you yeah, chosen some, like super else, you know? No, like, not even

mainstream. Like you're trying to be edgy.

I'm not even saying Not necessarily.

L city sounds listen, but like a lot. And I just said that name of that band a 1,000,000 fucking times, but want very, like, artsy, weird songs like we're probably gonna vibe, right? I'm out here like with Drake, as I should be your

main street. Sorry. You guys

are so creative. And you're these professionals in the art entertainment

swirled like, why would you not pick a song that goes with a slide show? Caution with ah, height video. Didn't you have, like, a custom song? If you're famous, shouldn't somebody I should. Our theme music. That's my song. Now you

just learn my tunes. Um, but well, I was just curious because I know music such a big part of your life. And so I was like, I know

that you mind fire. It's all my best pictures set to Nice for what? Yes, yes. And then it's just like everybody else. It's It's funny. I think it's a lot of people take themselves very seriously. I don't know. I think next week you're gonna be

dating Justin Long, and I'm just gonna be out here like dating the Muggles. Just along has got 53 I know

it. He's got to be like the smallest. No, I just need as big dick energy, though. He does huge dick energy, early nineties hair. I've I'm here for it. I e um Well, Justin Long, if you're listening, I'll fuck you. And then on Hinge, I just want to

say this one thing. Obviously, everybody was like going crazy over a star is born on the Oscars and I love stars born I don't even tell anybody that. And so I tweeted. And then I put on Instagram to like I'm going to start starting every dating app combo with Tell me something, boy, Like from the song

That's the song. So tell these something, boy. And so I did

it. And then all these girls started doing it, and I just need to read one. Um because my my like reason for that was like, if you don't know what I'm talking about, you probably don't get me because I was like, Why I don't get you So I don't want you Don't

get me at all This girl set said it. She did it and this guy did not get it. What show? Show these caps Dio I really think she starts

with. Tell me something, boy, he goes Yes, ma'am. Go ahead she goes. Aren't you tired trying to fill that void? And he goes, It gets exhausting at times by persevere, she writes, or do you need more?

She's clearly rhyme and every other rides. Well, I guess that depends on what you're offering. She goes ain't it hard trying to keep it so hard core and he goes hard. Core is not a term I would use to describe myself. Is this about how I could take you down a ping Pong? Is that the source of the hostility? He thinks she's being hostile. She goes, I'm falling like in the song time fall in And he goes, Well, Lord, have mercy Let me help you back up She goes in all the good times I find myself longing and he's like, still going. I hasn't picked up on the fact that nobody that isn't from the 18th century doesn't speak like that. He goes, Ella,

Well, help me out here. What do you longing for? And she goes for change. And in the bad times I fear myself. Well, let's see if I can change things up a bit. You don't seem so scary to me and she goes, I'm off the deep end. Watch Hey, had no point Job said it is like Am I talking to a computer like what is this? Also she rhymed the verse four line. This is the best. The best. Okay, also, I'm not gonna

give all those handle, but I do think I need to give her credit. Her name is Adriana. If her friends were listening this I just want to give her shadow like I'm not gonna get about all the personal information

of her last name. But Adriana, your queen, I love that it ended with the D like that because that's like the precipice of the SOG. That guy, that's all that I just love it he likes stayed for the whole come. He's like responding the each line as if it's a real conversation. At no point does he stopped. His bitch is insane. She's like speaking in tongues. This is like 17th century English. What is that you just like he's like, You know, I'm trying to fill the void, you know, whatever works. Nobody talks like this rhymes.

Every other lines should keep it so hard core. He's like, I hope I consider myself hard core question. He longing for dead. I Okay, I challenge our listeners. This is a very funny game. Anybody that's not a dating up, pick a song and do this with a guy that it's so Please send us your way could do any segment about this. Yes. I love this. She committed. I love her. Adriana, we love you also really quick. Great.

Uh, we don't need We're not gonna give the details. We got an email. That is the best email we've ever seen. Someone has a conspiracy theory, Carly, but she signed it like take me back just to chow. She cited like them. And I'm saying this is your biggest fan. This is stay ahead. Me back just to chat. See? End of that. That's the end of the song. I really went full state thing. Yes, she

is a conspiracy theory about something. We're not gonna get into

this. Her m I didn't What? I fooling around like

I'm not gonna lie to you. I skimmed it yesterday. I was

dying, laughing, But last night in bed, I read it in full. I was convulsing. I was on playable scene. She based It's a conspiracy theory about me. This guy, um she, like, really went through both of our Instagram's head. Like she What did she say? The smoking guy gun was trying to figure out what happened. Me, this dude and is Carly. I love you Smoking gun was that really unfollowed him from girls Gotta eat too. Carly, I love you. I did not

realize Hit me back. Just a chat is from stand.

Oh, yeah. And then truly yours. Your biggest fan. This is Stan. Okay, Carly, I know you guys think this is funny, but Okay, Also, one time

someone sent me a very funny like girls gotta eat conspiracy

theory. We love this shit. And, like, I'm not, don't send them or do, but we got such a kick out of this. So if you have a great G conspiracy, feel free to send it to us because we loved that she liked her. Research is a very long email. She did it work? Clearest. Like a 6 p.m. Monday night email Carly and Adriana, MVP's of the intro. I know I love you guys. Thanks, guys. We love your emails. I wish I could. I do have one is I wish

we could answer all the email because it's

so wonderful. We suffer the hate ones, we answer those two hate ones fuel me. I just want to shell it in. You guys ever gonna fight with one with somebody from girls got its Ashley. Also like, if you think you send a hate emailed us and it's gonna bring us down I can't describe to you, Matt, how much that fuels our fire and makes us even better. So, yeah, I can't tell you like how much I get off on it, right? I feel like we got them. And I'm like, Okay, is this a valid concern? Is this something we should think about? Is this something we should've drafted? There's also a difference.

It's It's literally like you're ugly and stupid and have no talent

as opposed to like, Hey, this is some constructive criticism, Like those emails that are like, you're terrible and

people didn't sell your looks like those of the most miserable people right

there. So jealous of you. Oh, you're gonna insult my looks

like we're gonna sick person wakes up in racing. Somebody, like wrote this email and she was really member that gm,

like, really directed at me about how ugly I won't. I eyebrows also that it does Mike or blading. Well, I've been

looking for Ah, microbe latest. That's it. Um, we've got a really good episode today. You guys been asking for a really long time for an episode about STDs. Um, sexually transmitted diseases. If you don't

that stands for contraception. Saves the dates for weddings. Spring wedding from what happened. So I love when you tell people like when my friends get engaged in, Like when you gonna send me your STD? People say that. No, I think it's funny. It's really funny. That's very funny. Your STD. When should I expect the STD? Really? I feel like I have never thought of that before. Wow, all right, right,

a joke about that? That was funny. Happy wedding season. Happy STD season to a map about energy season like it s SZ. Unlike season us like Allergy season, STD season. Um, we want to do for a long time. You guys have a lot of questions about contraceptive and especially like

things like herpes. A lot in birth control, control, lot about the eyes, big dicks

as a constant frequent ut. I get her lost. So let me introduce you guys to our guest I every week. I'm excited as she's excited, so excited about this one that we'll be in trying to get her here for months we've been asking last year Since November. Yeah. We've been asked to this

episode A lot by a lot of people were trying to buy the perfect person to talk about STDs and contraceptives

and all kinds of body stuff that your sometimes, you know, you don't have to ask

those questions. And you're nervous. I heard this woman speak at a panel, and I just knew immediately This is our person that is gonna

talk about this. So we have in the studio

today. Someone who was a sex educator. She's a long time sex educator. She started with a sex show, a sex talk show at Chapman University. Um, and now in her adult life, she is Ah, healthy sex educator who has worked for Planned Parenthood and Babe land. I'm gonna let her give you all of her other amazing qualifications. Accolades. Kendall Mackenzie.

Welcome to the house studio. We're so glad to have you on the couch. Okay, So you're not a doctor.

Let's just get that out of the way. I'm not a nurse. I'm not a medical professional. I'm a sex educator who has just been deeply immersed in the subject for at least 15 years now. What have you done for 15 years, man? Run the gamut of done a lot of writing sober in places like Refinery 29. I've done a lot of podcasting. Is definite pockets with glamour. That was really fun. I, um, taught sex. Ed Teoh, 11 of 13 year olds in New York City. For a couple years, I taught in HIV prevention program,

which was really great experience. Those kids were so smart and so funny. And I really love doing in person sex, Ed. I worked for a lot of different sex shops, including Babe Land, where have done plenty of pleasure based education, help people pick out sex toys, learn more about their bodies and how

to have fun and pleasurable sex. Cool. All right, well, we asked you guys to submit

your questions. So we we sourced a lot of questions from you guys about your body. Is what do you want to know from a sex educator? So thank you, guys, for all of your questions, we're gonna We're gonna you

know, we want to know Teoh. I mean, obviously it's what I want is helpful for us. Dio All right, so I want to kick it off. I want to start talking about STDs. Yes. Hey,

yeah, that's what we're gonna break it down in a couple different categories. STDs, sex, stuff, birth control, stuff, sell stuff you guys wouldn't know.

So I think

the biggest question for people that we will get, too is like there's this huge stigma around talking about STD's with a partner. It's closing that you have it in asking somebody if they have it. And so I think those were really scary conversations that

I want to talk about having

cause, like, I don't know how to ask somebody those questions. Right? And on that, I mean, do you know stats on what percentage the population have STDs? Well, it depends, you know, There's a 1,000,000. Yeah, really differs, depending depending on the STD. But I think it's safe to say that most sexually active people, at some point in their life, will get an STD. You at some point. Um,

another point I really want to hammer home is that most of the time STDs don't show symptoms.

Most people who have as TD's don't know they have them, right? So that's why testing is really important, and that's why these conversations is really are really important. And that's why you know you can't It's really important to kind of not play the blame game with a partner. If someone does test positive for an STD or during these conversations, because again, often times people don't know they have them and it's so, so common. It doesn't mean you're a bad person as TD's or infections. Like any other infection. We don't call people irresponsible huskies forgetting the flu right, cold and even though, you know, maybe they didn't wash their hands. Or maybe they engaged in quote unquote irresponsible behavior. But there's not that stigma attached those kinds of infection,

right, because they're not spread through sex. So the only thing that differentiates STDs from other types of infections is that they're attached to sex. And that's why they're so stigmatized. And that's really unfortunate, because doesn't really say anything about you as a person. Oh, for sure I love you said that we run through

the STDs e. I have to say this told, or I told a friend

the other day that I've mentioned chlamydia. Gonorrhea, I don't have syphilis is still thing or that 1800 syphilis is on the rise lately.

I mean, we really is that STD it isn't you got like ninth like in 1800. It's like a fluid STD. It's an STD. Come. It's not

as common as committee and gonorrhea, but it's

actually it's more on the rise. It's a hot one, right one right now. Unfortunately, our country has

gutted a lot of programs that help people take care of their sexual health and know these things like, I just know these from my education, you know, like it's funny that people

don't know this stuff. Well, it's not. I mean, yes, the education

can be a problem, but also, like literal clinics, were places where people can go get tested and, you know, being closed down because funding is being cut because our current administration right and things like that. So there are pockets. There's places in the countries where people are, they're experiencing a rise, and STDs that you're right, we previously thought were kind of almost gone like syphilis hasn't really been a huge public health problem in a long time. Now it's creeping back in because we don't have the resource is like clinics and education toe help. People prevented. So in those three, like they are curable, right? Like just is it's kind of easy antibiotic situation like like getting any,

like a getting strap or something? Yeah, totally. But yeah, they're definitely curable their bacterial infection, so their curable with antibiotics. For the most part, sometimes you know if something becomes bacteria lee resistant or you know there's a rare problem it might be, you might need a few rounds medication, or it might be harder to cure also, if people don't take all their medication or don't follow the doctor's orders. If you do end up with a bacterial STD and you get antibiotics, it's really important that you take all of them even if the symptoms go away before you finish the medication. Thank you for saying yes,

it's gone and, like no take finish the fuckin pack have to finish all of it because the infection

can still be in your body. Also, if your partners aren't also getting treated and they have the infection, you guys can pass it back and forth to each other, which stop it right? Which is why, if you do end up with an S T I an STD. You need to talk to your partner and you guys both tested and treated and are those I don't like those question untried. Left untreated. Can those like kill you? They can cause long term. Probably Kosslick. Infertility is a big one. Don't take him lightly, right? Right. Let tested.

Right there they

are. No big deal if they If you find out that you have them and you get treated if they're left untreated for a very long time, they can cause, like, pelvic inflammatory infections and things that could have an impact. Your fertility? I do believe syphilis can lead Teoh insanity. Mental, right? Yeah, like, get to that long, long term.

Crazy. So let me ask you question, we'll jump around it. But like, how often should you get tested

and like, is it after every sexual partner, is it when you're with the same partner? Should you get tested because you Pat like, how often are people going to get these tests? It really differs person a person, Obviously I think they say kind of in general, wanted two times a year is is kind of a good baseline. It's definitely a good idea to get tested if you start having sex with a new partner. Especially if you're talking about not using condoms. Um, that's really important, right? Um, yeah, so And that, you know,

especially if one of your partners says that they have an STD or they come back and tell you that they have an STD. You should go get tested. So anytime you believe you're a risk, any time you want to stop using condoms with a partner and you know, at your yearly examine, we should all be going to the doctor at least once a year anyway, for exams. So and that's actually a great another thing I want to bring up when you go to your yearly gynecologist visit. Often times you have to request an STD panel. They might not be just automatically testing you.

Write it down and I'm like, yeah, all of it. Like why I'm here here, my pants here off because of past years off a plea to detect blood. But I'm like the whole panel. Yeah, why would not get this? Your doctor

should ask you questions about your sex life and you should answer honestly there. They should not be judging you. They should be asking you these questions to determine what tests are necessary for you, the type you know, who you have sex with, how often you have sex, whether or not use protection on. And then hopefully they will give you the tests that are recommended. But it is. I do recommend asking your doctor like, Are you giving me STD Test? What are you testing me for? This is what I want to be tested for. And here's why. Because a lot of people assume that a Pap smear is an STD test. It's testing for cervical cell changes. It's not tested for STDs.

They got a good and there's specific tests also like I will I want to touch on HPV because I think that that's really what flares up for a lot of people. A lot for a lot of women, like I always got tested for HPV, but not for other things for years, I think, and you do have to ask for all those different things. Yeah, somebody said, I am someone messaged, and I think, like, well, just go down the line, and obviously we want to really get into the herpes discussion. But HPV I mean, we got GM that said,

like, I got an irregular pap and I'm freaking out and we do what? We have a lot of younger listeners. And, you know, I think rain and I weren't were all three in our thirties. But I mean, when you're 20 and you get twenties and you get this irregular pap or you get some

that you just you freak out like I have AIDS, I'm gonna die, right? Like, you just get saying dramatic, You get HPV, and you're like I'm cancer and I have gas anymore. And what s so I just

kind of like, you know, I want to hear you were saying some stuff before we start recording about HPV. That was interesting. And I don't know about, so so

for HPV. First of all, there are,

like, over a 100 different strains of HPV right on

Lee. You know, I look out there everywhere there's a and HPV.

I mean, I need him to get, like, award on your finger. That's HPV. So some strains cause, like warts on other parts of your body. Some strains of HPV caused genital wards. Some strains of HPV can lead to certain types of cancers and huge myth. I want to clear up. Genital warts is not the same thing as cancer. Like

if you have, that sounds obvious. But it's

not because people find out the general words is a type of HPV, and they think it means that those words are gonna lead to cancer. That those words or tumor? That is not the case. General words are mostly harmless. You know you can choose to get them removed or talk to your doctor about removal methods. But a lot of times, sometimes they clear up on their own. And they really don't cause any other health problems except for, you know, maybe being annoying. OK, so that's important to know. Um,

getting

in a regular pap is really, really common. It definitely does not mean that you have cervical cancer. What a Pap smear or PAP test is doing is detecting any changes in your cervical cells, and they're trying to catch those changes before they could lead to cancer. So the next step after you get in a regular pap, your doctor will usually do a closer examination of those cells. They might do a tiny bob see to make sure those cells are not pre cancerous. You know, if they are, then they'll discuss different kinds of treatment.

But cervical

cancer takes a long time to develop. So that's I mean, that's why it's important to get your paps according to the to the schedule that your doctor recommends. I think they actually just change requirements to every three years,

every three, depending on your history.

You can look it up planning from every year to every other year. But

I guess if it's always so for me, my my

personal experiences that my passengers were always a regular every single year and over four years in a row, they told me I could have HPV is basically they suggested a cone biopsy and a coal loss Kolkata colonoscopy hold possible me where I was put under general anesthesia and knocked out, and basically they said that the test for this is also the They'll take it out completely, like they'll test to see if you have it, but it also wipe it out no matter what.

I don't know what it was, as in the hospital. I don't

remember what the surgery was

that I got something that's I mean, that's what the doctors therefore todo like. They were like,

You want this car to sell shot? I'm like, Why not? Sure everyone to get the HPV vaccine if they can. Now it's been approved for way past. The age of that used to be used to be, you know, only approved or like it's recommended to be given to people around age 12. And that's the other thing about the the vaccine. Is people kind of freak out about it? Especially parents, because they 12 year old because yeah, and they're like, Well, this is an STD like my my kids not sexually active yet, right? The point of the vaccine is to be active in your

vaccine is right is to prevent, like we got vaccines, were babies all right. And also your kid is gonna fuck, so get used to it eventually, Eventually, eventually most likely here. Most

likely, your child will become sexually active at some point in their life in the future. And just the research has shown that the vaccine is more effective if It's got time to kind of, you know, build up in your body before a person

becomes sexually active. But

someone who is already sexually active or, you know past the age of 12 can still get the HPV vaccine if they haven't had it, can talk with your doctor about that, too. A safe way to prevent most of the strains of HPV that cause cervical that lead to cervical cancer and other types of cancers. Throat cancers, penal cancers, anal cancer like all these, all these genital can you

essentially. And

this is something that I don't again. I don't if there's a setting answer for this, but I think a lot So many women have HPV or yeah, some straight of it. I don't know The stats. Two out of 312 threes. I mean, that's a ton. Um, do you feel like you need to tell your partner your male partner if a za woman if you have HPV?

I mean, I always

encourage discussions about STDs. I do

like HPV

is one of those things that's really hard to nail down. It's really hard to figure out where you got it, cause it could be in your body for a long time, or you will even know you have it or before it causes anything that could be detected. It can kind of come and go. It can show up on tests than go away. Your body can kind of cleared on its own. A lot of times when people have HPV, they have it. And then their body just kind of clears on its own and it goes away. And so I mean, that's one of those things I might actually, you know, if you test positive for HPV or you find out you have some, you know, strain of it. I would I would talk with your doctor about whether or not you think this is the type of thing you should disclose to partners because,

you know, they might say, Well, it's not showing up on tests anymore. So, yeah, you know, what's the point then? You they don't know at all, right? There is no right now. There's no test. So there's not like so no, but it is recommended. Boys get the vaccine to they Didn't you know Now the

we'll get it right and they can definitely get in passing, and it can also cause

we're seeing more and more cases of men with types of cancers that they think are being caused by that. So, um you know, and again, like, we're hoping that eventually HPV can be eradicated with the vaccine like that's Yeah, that's the ideas. OK, so if you feel like some guy gave you HPV, it's like he didn't know that he had each like, there's no way for Got to know that he has it, right? Yeah, it's really know where there is really no way to know who gave up on it. I mean, you don't even have to have, like, Penis in vagina intercourse to get HPV. HPV is one of those who

is

one of those. STDs has transmitted skin to scare.

It's basically you breathe on someone rush, but it really I don't know, because there's always gonna be someone you know. There's definitely people, you know. HPV can cause cancer,

and some people in there, definitely people who have had you know who who died from illnesses related to HPV. So I don't want to say it's no big deal or anything, but the fact of the matter is with early detection and with things like the each HPV vaccine, you know, the rates of cervical cancer and cancers caused by HPV are going down, and it's, you know, not as dangerous as it as it used to be. Okay, we know more about early detection and think great, but it's also yeah, you stay on top of your of your yearly exams, you know, follow your doctor's instructions and, you know, like you said,

Yeah, like they may test you more often if you've had a history of right. But if you haven't, then they might not. Testy was often right. And I like that you said that like just because you got in a regular path doesn't mean that something's crazy and you could get a regular path the next time, you know, regular. Perhaps I had a cold pasta p a couple times. And now like that. What? My last, like six years of my life, my pops been regular. So yeah, I like this woman

gets it just

as you like a white blood cell count, right? Like that's why mine were. That's my doctor told May, like my myself was a regular because of a white blood cell. Count in interest. Agent again. You're not a doctor, but I I know I'm Jewish, So people just assume that I'm a doctor,

but really my end. Like I wrap everything up by saying talk to your doctor. You know, if you're worried questions

talk with your doctor, that is the person that you should be getting your medical advice for.

Right now, the internet is great, but we're not doctors. Okay? The thing that I really

want to talk about, like the STD, I think that is the most frightening to people. And I think you said you want, like, debunk this talk about it's herpes because I think that, you know, that is other than Crosby from wrong. Other than HIV, it is one of the only things that is not curable today. Correct? Correct. OK, so the H is HIV, HPV and herpes are the okay.

Way to remember the way anything will begin with a waiter. Girls. So yeah, I think

it's pretty frightening to people on, you know, Can you transmit it if you don't have an outbreak,

things like that. So, like, how do you even begin the conversation just footless. Full go, blah. Herpes education hour starts now, talking about herpes. Yeah, Like you said, it's one of the

things that freaks people out the most. And it's also I'm just going to say it. It's not

that big a deal. I love that really fucking isn't. OK, OK, so, um, where do we start? All right. Well, well.

Are there a bunch of different strains? Yes, to there are some a bigger deal than others. I guess when

it comes to sex, so

and then people get really confused about this, too. So when we're talking about herpes, in this case we're talking about, there's two. Strange is herpes simplex virus one and herpes simplex fires to H HSV one HSV two HSV. One usually infects the mouth that is usually Orel sores and hold swings at HSV two usually infects genitals, but not always. Both of these strains can infect other the other parts of the body.

So when we talk

about like Orel herpes, we're actually talking about the location of it on your body. So it's whatever strain you have, it doesn't matter if it's in your mouth. That would be Orel. If it's on. Your generals would be It would be, you know. Okay, Herpes. Ok, um, the strains are a little different to were like h HSV one. The type that's usually on the mouth that usually causes cold sores is not, uh It tends to be a little milder than HSV two. Um, HSV two can actually cause some,

like flu like symptoms. And some, like, ailment, like some, um, like swollen glands like flu. Like not feeling well, like I can actually feel pretty sick the for during the first outbreak or so, But usually those outbreaks become way less severe over time and often times you might not have outbreaks after a while, like some people only have one outbreak and they never have an outbreak again.

A lot of people who have herpes never have

an outbreak or the outbreak. They have a so mild they don't notice it. So most people have herpes, don't

know they have it. So I'm so Yeah, I didn't

realize there was, like, a severity level

of outbreaks. I got that shot. Outbreak outbreak is a scary word. Teoh clarify to what an outbreak

means is just that sores appear right so on your left or our right, our lips are on your genitals. Right? Um and and again, like depending on how the virus reacts in your body and what type of virus you have, you know, you could have flu like symptoms as well along with that. But usually for most people, the first outbreak is the most severe. The, you know, the sores are the most painful. Or the insurer of a factory period of herpes getting to know you and and, you know, my last longest. And then, you know,

people find that the outbreaks become shorter and less severe over time and again, some people stop having them all together. There are some people who kind of constantly of outbreaks, and they would be a good candidate for medication that comes, It's gonna ask you that our guys, everybody, this is probably the stupidest question. Is everybody that has herpes you typically medicated? No, no, no. Most people, most people are not. Yeah, most of it. But, you know,

like I

know a ton of people of herpes, right? And it acts differently in everybody's body. Like some people get out breaks every couple years. I know one person would one outbreak, and they never had a now breaking in the rest of their life. I know someone who has outbreaks frequently and has to be on medication

when they're on medication. They don't have

it, but they do have to take that medication daily, right.

But I think that my

view of herpes is like in health class. You saw those videos in those photos, like the terrifying ones and lots of high school. And that's my view of her PS. Let's talk sores

on your clit, I don't know. Just like Holly Flower growing out of your vagina. Eso scarred for life. There's a reason that way. Scared sex Educators

don't use scary pictures

anymore to talk about STDs. First of all, those pictures are

usually the most severe cases that are not the way STD's normally look or behaviour. And you know, all the research says that like fear and shame does not stop people from having sex or does not compel people to have safe sex. It just

right, well, it's the same drug occasion, like they're going to show you

the people that overdose and they're

in an alley, you know, what I mean? Like, just so you won't smoke weed. It looks like when you dare there, like you're gonna die from here whenever you like. I just want to smoke weed like it's diet. The terror is a scare tactics. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, and they and they don't work is people never thing that's gonna happen

to them anyway. And like it's just

it's not effective, but also again. Like I said, the other reason it's a really bad ideas. Most of the time, STDs don't show symptoms. So if

you show people a bunch of scary pictures of what your body is gonna look like if you get an STD, they're gonna think that anyone who doesn't look like that doesn't

have an STD is not necessarily true. Someone genitals was junk and look totally

normal. And they can have an STD, right, because they don't necessarily know it. So yeah, I mean, so they

if you just if you're looking at someone's junk

and just cause they don't have sores doesn't mean that they don't have herpes, right? And then I think this is probably the my main question, and I guess you know I could've Googled it. But

can you? Is our herpes and

I Maybe there's miss surrounding this to our herpes Onley transmittable when someone's having an outbreak. No, no, no. Yeah, there is that. There's a period called Shutting where you might not have any sores, but the virus is still transmittable. But again, it's like it it virus x different. Everybody's bodies,

like some people who have herpes, have never

really given it to anybody else because their body doesn't shed that much. Some people who you know have herpes are way more likely to give it to other people. Um, you're

way

more likely to transmit when you do have an outbreak. But eso it's not always so. If you go to have you, like, are about to hook up a somebody without a condom and you get down there with, like, your iPhone flashlight and you're like I'm just inspecting like they could still herpes that they could

give you. Yeah, it sucks, because when I say this that that that

tends to really scare people like Oh my God, you're telling me everybody has herpes and they don't know they have it. And that just

What I'm trying

to say is that it's not not that big a deal. Well, like right? So let's just

and Herbie's again you really think any serious

health problems? It doesn't lead to death. It's really not.

Not that I love it. You're saying condition. It's like acting. Really? Yeah, literally. Just a skin condition. And it's been around for a long

time, and it actually didn't use to be that big a deal. It's stuff like it was around like seventies eighties kind after the free love movement that, like when we really started doing this like fear base STD stuff that like, you know, they Herbie's became this huge, scary cultural monster

So down that bad, like maybe we should all just get her pay is just passing. What if what a sound bite? Well, almost everybody has a role consenting If somebody literally somebody with simplex one is that what is that? Somebody got Simplex is in a word, I'm making it. Yeah, that's the correct word. Okay, but again, both

Yeah, both strains can kind of impact. A guy with that goes down on you. Can you get it? Yes, that. Would you get this the one or can you get the two? You would get the one. Okay,

So thes air weird. You know, people want t o. I

dated a guy that had that had herpes s one. Whatever. Then he was self conscious about it. And like every six months, he would have, like, a cold sore, and he would not want to kiss me. And he was just really kind of embarrassed about it. And so, um, yeah, I've I've dealt with that. And again, I think it was a big deal,

right? Like, let's make out. But I'm like, What if you went to help me with that Have been a bad idea. I mean, if someone has

an active herpes sore on their mouth, I

would not recommend that they perform oral sex on U. S. So a simplex

one or any kind of cold sore or herpes on your mouth, no matter what strain it is conveyed, transmitted, you know, to the general right on. And actually, I think they're seeing more and more cases of this of this happening because the whole many people have HSV one, have cold sores, have oral herpes, and there were you know, seeing increased cases of HSV one or herpes being spread to that. Is there anything any relation at all to, like fertility or childbirth at all? Um, if you do have genital herpes, you'll want to talk to your doctor about that. If you're pregnant,

they just want to make sure that you're not having an outbreak when you give birth. Right, because that could be dangerous of a baby does get herpes from their canal that that that could be dangerous. But it could be managed with your doctor, as long as you know, you know that you have it cool. Okay,

so you have her beans. It's not scary like it's not that that terrifying, but you have a partner and

you don't know how to discuss it with them. How on earth do you brute like broach this topic? That's

a tough one. There is, I think that's probably the most scary thing is telling a person,

of course. I mean immediately. I feel like a woman. Orban again finds out they have this, and that's that this panic of like I'm never, you know, my sex life is gonna be super impacted. Dust across the board the good question we're trying to answer for totally well, listeners, first of all, again with ourselves. Remember that so

many people have herpes. So their debt lake, honestly, your partner might have it, too. Like consider that possibility that he might discloses

someone. They're like, Oh, my God, I have a two I was waiting to tell you. Also, I think that that's like a soul mate with many

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the What is this called Trump Singles, I think. And it was the third guy. Of course. You have, like a cheese comfort, in fact, that the guy that was in the promo shot on

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That, of course, was a sex offender. Like who found out that he had, like, this makes sense. This is very funny. All right, Trump Singles. Oh, and also, while were promoting Trump Sickles, we're gonna take a quick

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hour back in our back and what you were saying we've started to say was I want to talk about

how you broach this topic with a partner, cause it's a scary how you talk to, you know, have a herpes

or or any STD's. Really? So the

first thing I would recommend again And this is just kind of more shame and stigma busting like you're not alone, that people getting an STD finding out you have a STD. Having to have this conversation could make you feel really lonely and like you're the only person dealing with you're definitely not right. It's important to remember, no matter what the reaction is, you're not a bad person. You're not dirty like don't let anybody

make you feel that way. But also remember that, like your partner hopefully really

likes you. And so you know, this sort of thing hopefully won't be a deal breaker and that, um,

you know, they should actually really thankful that you're telling them

because you're doing the right bhangra. And it's a really like, intimate, kind, loving thing to disclose

this sort of thing to somebody. So if they start to get salty, may be reminded of that that this

could be a difficult conversation to have. And I'm doing this for their own good and that you really like them and you're telling the them this so that you guys can have a healthy relationship based on honesty and trust. All right, so you know, another thing that I think is really good has just come armed with a lot of information because people are so are So I mean, the other mind goes

in like a weird place. Yeah, inaudible are uneducated. Busey's through no

fault of their own. There's just a lot of miss

and misconceptions out there. So, like, be prepared for your partner to come

out with some bullshit and, like, have answers to their questions and like ways to bust myths like they may have heard all you know, all

kinds Onley only

sluts get this not true. Anybody who's ever kissed anyone

can get hurt. I got it from somebody else. So I mean, I mean and it's just ste again. STDs are a very

common, normal part of the human experience. So, you know, these are just things that people deal with, and, um, you know it. It doesn't say anything about who you've slept with or you know who you are. Your moral character. It's just it can happen to anybody. Um, I think it's also really good to kind of be prepared to talk about treatment, especially if you know you think you may have given them an STD like it can help to kind of come into this conversation with a plan in place like OK, well, I've already made an appointment for us to go get tested together, or sometimes,

especially if it's an STD like limited or gonorrhea. Your doctor might actually give you medicine to just give your partner without having them have to go get tested. So, boom, then it's just taking care of right leg. So if you kind of have an action plan in place, that can be really hopeful S. But And if it's something like herpes where it's, you know, it's not curable, and it's something you're gonna have to manage throughout your relationship, like talk about the ways that you have managed this with partners in the past and how it really doesn't have to impact your life or your relationship at all. Um, and then also again, like really avoid kind of playing the blame game or letting the conversation devolved until, like,

who gave this to who or where did you get it, cause as we've talked about before, it's really difficult to know. Track it a 10 point where you know where you got it doesn't necessarily mean someone cheated thes. You know, you can have these infections in your body for a long time before symptoms show up and before they show up on a test. So, um, that's that's a really you know, key thing to remember. If you have herpes, like, what are the chances your partner will get it? I mean, can you

just condoms

help, like, do things like Like, I think that the fear and somebody is like, Well, now I'm going to get this to write and I continue to have sex, right? So is that the case or do you just just no way to really, I mean again, Perry's person to person. But

there really is

no way to know for sure if you will or will not will not transmit it to somebody else. But I mean, I think people, especially as they know as time goes by, people have a sense of like, Well, I've had herpes for this long of disclose it to all my partners. None of my partners have ever told me they've had an outbreak. So, like it's safe to say that I'm probably not very contagious or, you know, always trying to use condoms, or you can both go to your doctor and talk. If the person is, you know, really concerned you can, you know,

talk about taking medication that can, you know, help prevent the spread of herpes and prevent outbreaks. But it's one of those things that it's just really difficult because everyone's body is different and everyone's everyone's herpes is different, like just reacts differently in everybody's body. And especially, I think, you know, someone's disclosing that they have genital herpes. And for some reason, genital herpes is what I mean. Not for some reason, we know why. It's way more stigmatising Orel herpes. It's because of genitals and live in a

sex negative culture that really stigmatizes genitals and sex. But often times you can ask a person. Have you ever had a cold sore? And if they're like, yeah, we're like, Well, you have refused to thank you and then kind of said this and like I remember

just thinking back to the guy that I dated that like sat me down to tell

me this, and I was like, Okay, all right. What? I mean, I don't I don't It's a cold sore.

Everybody I know is cold sores. I don't I don't really get them, but well, just not make out

when you have this. And I just didn't think like cold sores on your ding dong. It's not right. So I think that the little freak out about colds, right? And the people

don't forget about cold sores. And I I just think it's this thing of, you know, asking your partner like asking yourself like, Why is this so different in my head? Like, you're right. It's just this sexual stigma. So Oh, I wanted to bring this up in terms of herpes most of the time, as he, like a normal panel of STD testing does not include testing

for herpes. Really? Why? Why would? Then I'll explain why, Okay, because herpes is

not that big of a deal,

and most people

have it. And so most people have simplex one. A lot of people have simplex two and on, and also the test is a little finicky, like oftentimes will be false positives and people get like, totally freaked out.

So doctors really feel

a need to test unless it's like causing problems

in your body. So if you come in

and present with, like, sores and you say you're you know you're having certain symptoms and they might test you and there is a blood test for herpes. But I've heard from a lot of like medical professionals that people will come in and they say, Well, I'm not having sores, but I want to get a herpes blood test anyway just to, like, make sure I don't have it And a lot of times doctors won't want to do that because if it's not causing any problems, it doesn't. What's the issue? Let's see. I love that you really cleared it out because I really no pun intended. But I I think that I my head I was like, Oh, if you have herpes, you need to be on these medications that we see commercials for and what not?

And that's not the case. It sounds like most people probably are. I I don't know the staff that you are. You aren't but like again, I mean, it's like you talk to your doctor. If you're having a outbreaks all the time or it's causing problems or you know you're worried about transmitted to your partner, you can always talk to a doctor about getting on on suppressive therapy, which is which would be those medications. But a lot of people have herpes, especially whole Herbie's are are not, you know, having to having to take medication for it every day.

But I think the best device

in the world like D to stigmatize the

conversation is like, just have some fax. Yeah, just be right.

Like, explain why this isn't a big deal. And, like, what? What the next steps are one in six people I think is the stat right now has genital herpes. So this person has slept with more than six people. They've likely slept with someone else with herpes.

I've gotten herpes, like, 80 time in me like Well, you know what? I'm the only one that's actually telling you. So I deserve a pat on the back for that, right? Okay, but here's

why. My real concern and I think this is probably what, like your average person thinks about is like if I get herpes, which is, you know, that one of the scarier ones, I think you know he's going to separatist goods incurable. Yeah, that's why chairs may just like you no longer, and it sort of sounds like it is very manageable, but I think your average person is scared of it. I'm scared about like a normal, normal average person. I'm is my sex life over. And I think that that's like what your average person is thinking like Is my life over? Can I sleep with people? Right?

And I think we want addresses because I love everything that Kendall is said in terms of like, It's not that big a deal in terms of your health, you know what I mean? So many people have it. It is so common. And if you have a cold story of herpes, like all these things, I level the thing that she is like hammered home. But I think the question on everybody's mind if you're listening to this and you have herpes is like or your or you have just contract it or whatever, it's like nobody's gonna want to sleep with May and my sex life. This just you know it's over in the socks and, like, I'm not normal anymore. And I am dreading what this means for my sex life. So you know

what you would say? I don't know what I would say. I mean, I don't think it's it's not over for

sure. You know, I think a lot of the stuff that the Kendall is has said is super important about just like a arming yourself with fax is the number one thing, like know all these things and, like number one is not gonna affect your health long term. And I think a lot of people just have a lot of misconceptions about it. So I think that one thing is like arming yourself with facts.

But my my thing is like, Yeah, some people may not want to sleep with you like they might not,

But to me, you know, I'm always in any in any thing that happens in my life. I think that you have to look at, like why this happened. And can you can you find the silver lining? And to me, it's like, Yeah, I like it might be hindrance to your sex life, but I think think of it as an advantage to your relationship life, you know? And if you tell somebody this and they don't want to sleep with you and you've given them all the facts and you

know and they still don't want to, then that person probably

just want to have sex with you anyway. And I will be completely honest from my standpoint. I mean, I'm one person. I am a woman in my A single woman of my authorities. I'm not a man. I can't speak from the standpoint of a man. Someone came to me and it was something I was really interested in. I saw a future with, and they told me that they had herpes like it. I would process that and I would think it over, but I pretty certain it wouldn't stop me from sleeping with them and pursuing a relationship with them. On the flip side, I don't know. 2nd 3rd date with a guy and he tells me, is herpes.

I'm gonna be completely

honest with here. I don't

know that I would

sleep with them if it's just a guy that I don't really see a future with. I don't know if I'm putting myself at risk to contract something to have for the rest of my life with somebody that I'm not interested

in long term. Yeah, And I think it was almost

this this like, what's the word I'm looking for? It's almost this, like way

to weed people out in a way like you're

gonna find somebody that really wants you for you and appreciate your honesty and appreciates everything about you like there's a girl on Instagram. I'm friends of their from Atlanta and she contracted herpes and she's been super open and vocal about it, and

I kind of love her out. Looks like this

is a part of me now, like the person meant to be with is going to accept this Or and if they don't, then they're not for me, right? I think three dates and I probably want to sleep with somebody. If they were honest, I think I would respect them. Telling me, at least you know, God forbid somebody sleeps with you and doesn't tell you, and I think I would

appreciate the honesty, and then you take an inventory of the relationship. Do I see this going further? Do I want to pursue a relationship with this person. Maybe we don't sleep

together for a little while. And then I decide if I want

Teoh, Remember, you don't and there's nothing wrong with that either. There's nothing wrong with being like, Okay, this person has this STD and I don't see a future, and I don't want to get it. And there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting that either. Yeah. I mean, I just I

feel the pain of like putting myself in someone shoes that, like, the overwhelming like, Oh, my God, I can't believe this. No one's gonna wanna talk me and a that's not true. And be like, I mean, where condoms it sounds, It gets really just cause you see what somebody herpes definitely doesn't mean

you're gonna get. It definitely was left with somebody with herpes. I know I have just statistically you have to. There's our like I don't have

it. I've slept with them. I know I have, like, just statistically there's 0% chance I haven't. And so I just think like I almost think looking Look at it as a blessing because I love what you just said. it might just make you, like, wait and take a pause. And, like, if someone tells you this

like maybe like Okay,

let me think this over. I don't Maybe I won't sleep with you tonight, but like, you really have to focus on more. That's in the relationship than just the sex part of it. That's the thing. I want a hammer. Home is a Please do not look a look at this as like, and the nail in the coffin of your sex life. I don't think that's it. It all No. You know, I think that if you look at the gay community and you look a gay dating APs, there's ah field that says, If you are clean, if you've been tested recently and you're on, um,

what's the prep here on a pill that the real tentative and things like that. Yet there's there's fields for that on gay dating APS on the grinder. And I think that, you know, more than any other community in the world, the homosexual male community, it's found a way to deal with this and still had relationships and long lasting love and promiscuous sex and HIV. Isn't you know a deterrent for all gay males anymore. And so I don't think that

herpes needs to be a deterrent

for straight people, right? And it's like, I don't know. It's like I do. I hate this stigma around it because what Kendall said, it's like

a skin thing. That's it's like you're everyone. So we have an excellent flare up. You're gonna

date me. I mean, I get It's like not something that

you can pass, but it's that's all it

is and like it's almost weird. It's like, Do we need to rebrand

it? We need a new name for it because it's It's just not

do that sometimes with, um, a milli familiar with, like, the food world. But they do that with different fish.

Uh, sea bass usedto have another name and I forget with Chilean

sea bass. Usedto have another name, and it was like donkey fish or something. I just made that up, but

Chilean sea bass used to be called something else, and they re branded it. Now it's almost extinct. Well, they were going to rebrand herpes, but no, if you're listening, parcel

sent. You are looking for that solace of like I'm so upset about this. I am so upset that I have herpes. Like your sex life is not over. If you tell somebody that you have this and you explain all the facts and you're armed with all the information and they don't want to fuck you, good riddance. Yeah. You know what I like You will find somebody that respects your honesty and likes you for you really are. And this

is what it is

is your life. And look at it as the blessing of the silver lining. Or however you want to look at it. And I mean, that's just kind of like all I have to say about it. Yeah, I like your advice. And I think this is a good time to Segway or to contraceptives again. We got tons of different messages from people asking, um,

what the best thing to take is, and we can share our own personal stories and experience

with birth control. But, um, you d was was a huge

thing. People asked about the new marine came up different

estrogen levels in certain birth controls. Um, I guess to kick it off just to sort of give our listeners a background on me and then you if you want, But I'm taking birth control most of my life, I have always needed to be on a super, super low dosage of estrogen because it literally it'll make me crazy. Like I was even on Ortho Tri cycle in low. And it was causing me to have, like, hysterical crying fits. Um, just really bad, like levels of hysteria. Um, and so for me, I had to really, like,

adjusted dose and play around that I've tried the new meringue. I had a really bad experience with that personally, just for my own body. I had a very, very terrible, like reaction to it, but yeah, I mean, obviously, you know, were not doctors that could

tell us if you will take

the lead you want. No, I'm not anything right now. I don't. Neither does raw dogging

it. Yeah, I brought talking your body, just getting you know, I just sort of felt like I'm not in a long term relationship anymore. I'm not having

I'm not in a drum having sex with random partners if I do a use a condom, but like I don't really want to put chemicals and hormones in my body. But it's not something

that I don't need to dio well and right. You know, when I've had partners have always

I mean, I I like when somebody comes inside of me. It, like, really turns me on. I love it. And so, like, I have to be on birth control. What? I'm dating somebody, but I'm not having, like, unprotected sex with, like, random strangers at this point. I'm not having daily sex with anybody.

Cell for me. No birth control today. Well, okay, So I was the first time on the one i what was on from day one, which was jasmine. What? Now it's SL. I mean, whatever it's like, That's what the brand name, I guess, is Jasmine. But, um, I was on it for,

I don't know, 10 years templates years, and then I went off of it for that same reason. I was like, just I know I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not having all this regular sex. I don't having a ton of casual sex. If I do, I'm gonna use a condom. It was the same thing as you and I was like, why my body's hormones, My body. So I went off of it for a year and like a full blown year.

Nothing crazy. Think

I gained a couple pounds, to be honest, and then I went back on it after being off of a three year because I got a boyfriend and I again, same thing. I was like, I don't have to worry about condoms. I wanna come inside me like whatever I'm having regular sex. And so I went back on it and the symptoms were insane. It was just like pregnancy symptoms. My I call my mom and she was like, There's what you're describing To me, there's 0% chance you're not pregnant. I took a pregnancy test. It was wild, my breast hurt to the touch. I couldn't sleep. I was a Googling all these things.

I'm like these air symptoms of birth control wise. It's happening. I was on this for 10 years, my life and I can't believe that going off of it and going back on it has done this to me. And it was like a full blown month of it was horrible and I'm in this new relationship. My emotions were all over the place was crying all the time that I couldn't sleep, and I was crying cause I couldn't sleeve. I would love these like crazy hunger pains. And again, just like the pain in my breasts were like them one of the main things. And I went to my gyno and she was

like, Yeah, I mean, that's what's gonna happen. Your body changes you. I was like, but it's the same pill. She's like, Yeah, you're just getting old, Your body changes.

I mean, that was kind of the answer, and she was like, If this let it right out for a month and if you come back and the on the plus side, I don't know for whatever reason, I think some people I know have experiences, especially with this birth control, is that I did, like, lose a couple pounds like it does. We will randomly help maintain my way for some odd reason, especially like the belly area was very weird thing, but so still on it, not having a ton of sex, but don't want to deal with that ever again. But I still I really also just don't love that there's hormones in my body. So I think a lot of people deal with that.

And that's why I will bring us into rud conversation seamlessly. But, you know, we'd love to hear your thoughts and, uh, not to take the floor way, but people always Brandon Lee DMX. Like

what? Birth control is there? Yeah, like people to know.

Because people want to share our truth. Teoh, talk about birth control.

I'm not like a health expert. Like I'm also lazy like I'll never take a pill every day. It's not like I'm just very lazy. So forget why a lot of people

are curious. But I Udi's, um you know, do they heard what's the differences in them, so I would love Yeah, you wanna talk about

talking about audio? So

I feel like I missed Like, I remember with obamacare that they back when I have health insurance

and back when Obama was president, they would have been freeing, and I still think about that. And I look back

on that I'm a cash. I just just should have gotten it for free back in the day, because I remember my gyno being like you could get it for free. What? I mean, I don't know what it is out of pocket, but it could be up to

$1000 right? It could

be $1000. And I was like, I missed the boat on that. I'm fine with

my But there are some places,

like Planned Parenthood, another, like community health care centers that might be able to do it for lower cost. So if you don't have health

insurance that my first message, that's where I went when I moved here.

Yeah, I I went, I didn't have health insurance and I

went to parenthood. I want to

give me my first I u d. Because my gynecologist wouldn't. This was back in. I want to say, like, 2005 where there was still a lot of myths about. That's about ideas like going around, and people will used to be really hesitant to put them in people who hadn't had a pregnancy. And so I was never been pregnant before, And my my regular gynecologist, was like, I'm not giving United E. It's not safe for women who haven't had kids, which is not true. That is 100% not true so I mean, as now as we know, tons of people are using them,

and that's no longer a requirement. But so I wasn't on birth control for, you know, six months or so and then a condom broke when I went to planned parent to get Plan B, because back then you couldn't get it over the counter, which is another like advancement. Thank God you can get emergency contraception over the counter for me. It's like my Saturday morning routine. I just goto. I just go to CVS and they're like, up

again, brought by an and multi packs online, you know, also fun Fact if you have helping changer if you have health insurance,

you can get morning after pills for free. If you have your doctor write you a prescription.

I'm not kidding. What's posing for? You don't know those air $50. I know also another thing I want to say about the morning after pill. We sorry we'll go and I believe with other bad

things. Generics work. Justus Well as OK. Eso don't feel like you have to buy the most expensive kind all the same medication set of 50 or like even I think now you can buy even by multi packs online for way cheaper. So this is another under the A C a. The affordable care act this whole thing about, you know, birth control being available with no out of pocket costs that

does include it only includes

methods that are prescription. So if you get your doctor to write you a prescription for Plan B, you can get it for free. With your health insurance, you might have to explain to your doctors I did this. I went to my gynecologist was like Write me a prescription for a couple morning after pills. She was like, You don't need a prescription like I know But if you do, then I won't have to pay for that. You might explain to the pharmacist to They'll be like, You just grab it. It's on the shelf and you'll say I was free. I'm gonna sell him for

But it's good to have me and I could give it to friends and stuff like that, like sorority, like the Candy Man. So you know, we're

like 20 bucks life Hack on that. That's a great thing I know. And another and a good pivot to a lot of people. Don't realize this is that the copper I you d can also be used as emergency as emergency contraception. As a matter of fact, it is the most effective form of emergency contraception.

Weight waas. So you get it, you have to go get it. Put it so that could be the challenges. You

gotta get it. Yeah, you gotta get plugged in, but And that could be the challenge is finding an appointment on short notice, but up to five days after unprotected sex. If you get a copper I e. D put in and is over 99% effective

at preventing pregnancy, and then you can just leave it in. If that's a tight only want technical

reason for what it prevents the sperm from getting to the egg.

I have a question formalism in your body. Insurance sperm

can live in your body for like up to five days, so pregnancy doesn't happen right when we have X. Yeah, well, we had a guest last week that said that he they had sex and they have a child now. He had this like super sperm. We told you about this earlier and the Plan B just it didn't work and they went to the doctors and they were like, Yes, she got pregnant like immediately because she was super fertile in his super sperm and it was just Lambie doesn't always work as you may have already ovulating. So that's the reason Plan B is not as effective. Other messes methods of birth control pills. If, like you've already ovulating and there's already an egg hanging out in your fallopian tube and you take Plan B, it's not going to stop anything from happening. Yeah, so that's why we don't recommend it is your

typical birth control

use because it's not as a full? And we did? Yeah, just to clear it up, because I'm sure we'll get some messages. We're not advocating for Plan B to be your birth control, Matt, that it is for emergency, which will make that clear. We could make jokes all day. I used to do a bit about that on stage of like, That's how you know you're rich when that's your primary control method is just

Plan B. Everything you want to emphasize, its not unsafe to take it. Multiple times. Yeah, the reason we say it's it's only

for emergencies because A it's kind of expensive. Has weed covered. Maybe it's just not as effective, because again, if you, you know, if an egg has already been released, then it's not very much for you. Well, let's talk about ideas. Yes. So I guess you know what's the difference? This

is copper and hormonal, right? How does it get installed? Doesn't hurt. Why does it hurt? So that all about the installation? What I I

mean, my, uh, one of my best friends, hasn't she said it was incredibly painful? Yeah. Fucking sucked. I have have had to i e ds and, um, both kinds. Like the horn. Yeah, I had I had a copper i e d for

about six or seven years. You know, there were certain things I loved about it in certain

things. I didn't like so much about it. But that's kind of what we do with all methods of birth control is weigh the pros and the cons, and, um, you know, not everything is gonna work for everybody, and everyone's gonna have different experiences. But for me at the time, that was a good method, and then I ended up swapping it out for a hormonal one. So I've had to insertions and to remove ALS because I no longer have one now and you know, insertion again. I never get sick of this answer. But everyone's body is different, so it is gonna be different for different people. Overwhelmingly,

I hear that it's it's it's painful. It really it can really hurt. But the pain is usually really quick. ISO like them, The most intensely painful part is over pretty quickly. Some people can have cramping, you know, a day or two after insertion,

and it is important

to note, especially with the copper I e d. That you can have some pretty bad cramping for a couple months after you get the I e d. But usually that calmed down

after a while. And this this kind of applies

toe any birth control method, um, you know, a lot of the side effects that you have when you first start taking them will go away eventually. And a lot of people stop using their method before they have a chance to, you know, cause I was like, Oh, this is terrible. I can I don't want I don't want my body to feel like that happen to me. I mean, just on the hill like that. My first month was hurt, right? There was a reason your

doctor was like, Well, stick

it out for a little while, like and you know, and then yeah, you know what? Maybe this stuff doesn't go away. And if it if you turn, if it turns out you don't like the way the I e. D feels or you know, there's something there certain side effects that have gone beyond 3 to 6 months and you just can't hack it any more than you can always get it taken out. But the advice is usually to try to stick with it for at least three months on. Generally, I feel like removal is a little less painful

than insertion. But you know, again, everyone and some people say they're insertion

wasn't that bad? It's cram P. It's, you know, it's never gonna It's not gonna tickle, but like

I e just so that I understand it completely

eradicates your period. You don't get it, or do you get it sometimes. So the copper I e. D. Is. Actually, most of the time usually increases Thea Mount of bleeding that people have and that can even out again after like 3 to 6 months. But when I was on the Copper Beauty, my periods were

much heavier than they were when they were longer. So parents. So that, like the holy benefit, is not hormonal. Yes, and that it's extremely effective. And there's really no

other methods that don't involve hormones are perfect birth control. So which is why I chose the cost. I was why one of the copper 80. I did not want to deal with hormones, and I wanted something super effective. So I was like, You know what I meant straight. 25% of my life. Now I use a cup, not I. You know, like the cup is saved. A gazillion dollars on tampons had been flying there. Those motherfuckers

your over. No thing to talk about just how

it's so annoying

to be a woman like it's over. Well, do you want to have a heavier period? You want to get pregnant? Do you wanna have a like it's just yeah, or do you want hormones in your body around the clock like it's just like, Oh my God, also, I just want yeah, I to find

how to really experience of the copper one just but that was very rare, but I feel like she's probably

listening this like Oh my God, I went through help

talk about it. And so it was super rare. Her body was random. I had too much copper in it, like it affected her breasts and a ton of other things. So but again, that was one, you know, very rare case. But everybody has different. Yeah, totally.

I mean, and that's also it's

like I love talking about birth control and everyone's different birth control experiences, and I think it's really important, and everyone's stories are valid and deserve to be heard, and everyone's experiences air riel. But I also want to caution people against deciding what method to use based on like stories you read online are like

their friends. Way

more likely to post a common online or tell a story if they've had like a negative is that s so there is kind of an outsized amount of lake horror stories around lots of different birth control methods when in reality, most of them are safe for most people, but and again doesn't mean those experiences air invalid. But it's really best to kind of do your own research and talk with your doctor when deciding methods instead of I love that You said that. And that's just such a true thing, with literally anything like I always want to, like give props to people that write nice reviews, like the people that take the time to write a nice Yelp review or a nice Amazon

review like Thank God for you. Where nice girls got a year. People don't go online to say nice things. Usually they're probably think that there's like, a good intention behind it, like I had. You want to know if you have a horrible experience,

you want, you want to save other help, other

people trouble. But I had a really, really, really terrible experience with the new meringue. The doctor told me that I had had a mini stroke. Basically, um, it was had only been on it for like a month. I mean, that had to be what I literally I'm sitting my boyfriend. I had dinner. I'd had one beer, so I was, like, nourished. I hadn't been drinking. Really. I got up. I walked across the room. I

literally just fell to the floor. I like Did not. I had I was having a hard time flick, forming words and speech. I got really hot. I literally couldn't focus on anything or talk Anyway. It was really, really terrifying. I was like, Oh my God, when I die, I

want to the doctor

And they went through a series of questions and they said, Or you want a different kind of birth control? And I said Yes. And they said, taking out immediately and it never happened again. Um,

and I had another girlfriend that experiencing very similar.

She said she had two episodes, one on the subway and one of the bookstore. Exact. Same situation. Lost the ability to speak. She was sweating or blood pressure was up. So anyways, those are two

very scary things Before other people look at another girl I worked with, use the new bring. She loved it. It was great for him, right? I mean, if

you like, look on any of like planned parent social media presences, they talk about birth control

a lot. And if you look in the comments, there is like there is a good man. I mean, there's

some people are like This is the worst thing ever. This ruin my life. And there's, you know, people that are like I've uses for 30 years and I love and anything else you like.

OK, like So you know, right? It's good to read these things,

and it's gets good of these conversations. But ultimately, you know, what you read and hear from other people is not necessarily what your experience is gonna be. Well, good. And I like this and again, like, you know, talk to your doctor. You know, like I just think this one, we don't want to make this like a birth control broadcast score. So it's like I talked your doctor What? Everybody's different. You know, I think that's what they're there for.

But in terms

of like getting appeared on your eye on on an I e. D. Like the hormonal warns, that's what you're thinking of. Those are the ones that actually that can lighten or eliminate your period, and

it really like it's again. It's person

a person. Some of the ones that have, like the smaller ones that don't last as long and have fewer hormones might not actually stop your period as Muchas like ones like Marina that last a little longer. They have slightly more home runs in them. So, like it kind of it can depend on your body. It can depend on the type of I e d have but generally, like hormonal IED's. Yes, we'll lighten or stop your period completely. I think my period stopped coming after, like, a month and 1/2 2 months on the marina. It was

dope. A lot of Paul loved shit. I know. But then

you when you got a period, can you kind of, uh, give us a little short and sweet explanation of the

cup? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Copper up to here

because I think people don't know what that is. Yeah, OK, so when I say cup, I'm talking about a menstrual cup.

The brand I use

is the Diva Cup. That's kind of like that. There's a town of different brands out there. Um, you're

hot opinions about this in the comments to because everyone has a story about it. whether or not they love or hate the cup. I mean again,

none of this shit is one size fits all. So I'm not evangelizing this to anybody, Doesn't want to use it. But what I love about it is that it's reusable, so I don't have to buy tampons. And I just love not spending money on things I don't have to spend money on. And a lot of times tampons. And, um, you know, disposable mental products are not great for the environment. The companies that make them a run by

evil, terrible men that we love. Okay, Yes, sure, yes. Shout out to female run menstrual product organically for sure. Yeah, And I'm not saying table

you dangerous. I'm not saying that at all, either. I just think I ask, there's there's still a risk. I mean, with toxic shock syndrome tampons, if you leave it in too long, things

like that. I mean, the other thing I liked about what I like

about the Cup is that it holds a lot more fluid

than tampons and pads,

usually, and so I can leave it in for longer. And like I said when I had my copper you d and had a very heavy period. It was really nice to have a cup. And not to change

a tampon every two hours or through. Yeah, because it like a cop. I literally is a come and then you you inserted into your vagina and your people looked in there like that is fucking huge. How is that gonna feel? Good? Be comfortable. Do not put a dick. It's out of you that these things are getting comfortable either. The vagina actually

does not have that many nerve endings past. Kind of the openings,

the ideas. If it's in right, you shouldn't. It shouldn't be uncomfortable. Shouldn't

be able to feel it, can you? I was gonna ask.

Can you feel it? You shouldn't

be able to feel it. Um, And if you and if you can, then you might

need to reposition. Or you

might need to try a different kind of cup. A smaller one. There's cups out there with different shapes. Eso Sometimes it's just a question of like finding the right one for you. And yeah, there's, you know, you basically you fold it. So once you hold it down, it kind of becomes the width of a tampon. Maybe a little bigger. Pop it in, let it expand, given a twister to to make sure that it, like, makes contact with the walls, your vagina and that it's like open.

It can take some getting used to. So for

the first couple months, it's good to wear a pad as a backup or something, you know, just so you don't lead on your clothes and things like that. But, you know, yeah, using one a long time ago. I know I have a girlfriend telling you this recently, and, um, she said there was little bit of a learning curve, but, um, I don't know. I don't really have a heavy flows. I'm kind of like into this idea. I might try it and also is a really good string on the bottom to pull it out. Then you basically sit over the toil

and pull it out. Yeah, yeah. So there's, like, a little stem I actually don't

usually use this time. I just, like, grab the cup itself can pull

it out. I mean, things that people do have concerns about is like, how do I deal with this in a public bathroom, which is a totally like That's bad. So you don't have to

wash it every single time you put it back in. So you know what you do If you're in a public bathroom, go in the bathroom, wash your hands, go in, take it out, dump it in the toilet, maybe wipe the outside down with toilet paper. Pop it back in. Wash your hands again. You're good to go. Okay? And if you're at home washing in the sink, I usually empty mind on the shower that the easiest way

to do it out of court and see

in the shower and clean in the shower once or twice a day. And

that and the nice thing about it, too, is like you don't

have to go out with a purse full of tampons because

everything you need is already in your cooch their way. We've never talked about the show and also swimming because, like, I

really hate swimming with a waterlogged tampon. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like wearing a tampon? You go swimming in the pool. Water gets in there now. Yeah. No, I mean none of it's good again being a woman just

hard. So many things Like I want a guy to listen this podcast and be like a good thing Sounds Dio goes. I know worry. Well, should we talk about what you want? Wait. Can we talk about how it's safe to not get a period? Yes. It s a lot of a lot of people

asking, Is it safe? And does it affect my long term ability to have if I don't get a period great or if I'm on birth control forever, right?

Yeah, right. Love it. Okay, so that we get

the This is a huge question, especially around methods like the I e. D and the implant that tend to stop your period or people who use the birth control pill to skip their period, which you can do by skipping the placebo week. Or like the same with the ring. You leave your ring in for the placebo, right? People do it for, like, vacation

or just

for a long term. If they just don't want to get a period, it is totally safe to use birth control. This way, there's this kind of, I think, incorrect idea that, like what's happening is your body's just storing up all

those putts that's not coming out like eventually. That's not what's happening. What is happening

when you have an I e d. Or some you're using A method to stop your period is your endometrium layer like the lining of your uterus is just not building up. Right? So

your body, your body could be cycling. Like when I had my

eye. You d I was definitely I definitely copulating. I was still kind of get PMS. I'd have those periods. Sometimes my boobs would get swollen. I get a little mood swinging. I could feel myself populate, but I just wouldn't bleed. And just because interesting, the lining is in building up every month. So there's nothing to come back committed to start doing this. Really? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thank you, God.

Yeah. So and it doesn't impact our long term fertility. Birth control in general does not impact her long term fertility. In fact, you can get pregnant

right away after you stop. Yeah, I don't even if your periods

of regular and even if you're not getting a period right away, the one method that can impact your fertility short term, like we're talking, like, three months to a year. Maybe. Is the deputies shot? It can take a little longer after the shot to where is your blood? Right.

But people can still get me. It's person

to person. So we don't, you know, like

right. I don't want to say so, right? So many of my friends are married with kids. They were on birth, drove for 15 years and they have multiple Children with

my best friend, Corey all shout her out. She was like they read after they got married in November. She was like, I was gonna get on birth control cause we want to have kids and

I think you think in your head you're like, take a take a while and no, A month like New Year's Eve knocked up, she was like, What the fuck she was like I and it's funny because she was one of people. She was like, I just I feel like

I would have if I was super fertile, I would've gotten pregnant. I've had so much sex

in my life, and it's like no birth control works thing that work, and it really is the pills. One of the most

studied, if not the most studied medication in the history of the world is so heavily researched and scrutinized. And it has been tested safe for millions and millions of millions of people. Millions and millions of people have used it safely. So, like, this stuff is well researched and

right trader thought about that. Yeah. This is like a really heavily engineered piece of medication, right? Like, and they keep doing research. I mean, when the pill first

came out, it used a thana hormones, and they, you know, since really, you know, pared it down. And now we're seeing methods like the i e. D. That used way fewer hormones than things like the pill and different types of hormones like, Yeah, so you know, the I e. D. In the implant don't of estrogen in them. So people who are sensitive to estrogen or have problems with estrogen can use methods like the implant or the I e. D.

Because there's no estrogen in them. Cool. Thanks a lot when we talked about this. Ok, so the last sort of segment I'd like to do with you before we dio another segment

the next segment I like to do with you is you g uys, which is ah, topic that's near and dear to my heart. I love getting you dear dear are I've gotten a lot of them in my life. It's been really, really shitty. And, um ah, lot of people asked about them.

Why did some people get them so frequently? How do you stop getting them, you know, is because I'm not paying after sex, etcetera so pain after sex, We have a ton of questions.

I personally my personal experience as I didn't

get them my whole life. And then I was started dating somebody long distance, and I wouldn't have sex for two weeks, and then I would see him, and we'd buck four times a day for days. And I would get the most like on YouTube there So bad. Yeah, I heard

this. I have never had one either. I'm so sorry. It was really gonna happen. Vagina is just on point. Never had a UTI. I never in a regular PAB I'm It's so painful for me that, like I have a hard time walking, I feel it like sitting hurts, standing hurt you can't eat, I get nauseous. And it's I mean, one pill and you're fine, but yeah,

I mean, I think some people really get them chronically. Other people don't get them at all. And I always peed right after sex, like that's I mean, listen, so drawn, and I just and again, if you can answer this totally no big deal. But I think what I'm curious about and I have a friend that kind of same is you where she dated someone long distance and also ate a huge dick. And like she was, she thought maybe on vacations and she'd have to go get meds and all these things. But I think people asked wonder about pee after sex and does that prevent it? And big dicks?

Yeah, because he had a huge deck. Um, but I thought it was generally the frequency with which were having sex. Also, the large deck. Um, I went to so many walking clinics with him. It is insane every time we can. Also, I'm curious to teach. Do be sure Urgent

care of Dewey Beach is just all Plan B's in U T I meds. And I'm curious if it I don't know. This is a definite doctor question. I'm just curious. Like, is it bad to take them? Take the antibiotic 70 times it can One of you, like, build up resistance

to it. Other cranberry pills. So, like, they're not like, uh,

the stuff that you're taking is you'd have a cranberry juice. It'll help your symptoms. But you really need medication to be

it. Go away.

I've heard that the that the jury is kind of mixed on whether or not crammed the cranberry stuff is actually effective.

So what I've taken is called a Zo Ezio. What's typically you take it is cranberry based or something? Yeah, I know that.

You said that Would that used to That was like the kind of the kind of common wisdom was like, OK, I got just load the fuck up on cranberry juice, and then I think some research came out. It was actually handles don't really do much, But if it works for you people really freakin ocean spray. Cranberry

juice Cocktail is not that the one time I thought I was getting

a u T, I like went, but I went to get the like the cranberry juice concentrate, which, by the way, is like $12 above

hard to find, like I had to

get a whole foods or something. And it, I mean, it is so better is but a seltzer and just like Shugden, it

kind of made to go away. But

I think also just staying super hydrated. I think it must, I think, was more just the drinking of the fluids and being super saturated. And that helped being girls. I think when she's like I'm doing the cranberry juice flush and, uh, scrimmages cocktail,

he's like, It's great, Just so do you know why people some people are super prone to utilize and others aren't? I

mean, I think it has to do with, like, your kind of bacterial makeup in your body and the place and of your Yuri throw. And just like the way your genitals air sorted out. I mean, the way they happen is bacteria gets pushed into your urethra, usually during sex, so atra, you know, and I and whether or not you're your body is able to like, you know, fight that offer deal with that. Do you feel like pain after sex is a thing you should dio

That's what they say, you know? But I know people are like I do it all the time and I still get you know, it s so I think it can definitely. No,

he definitely can't hurt you. Might as well. It's probably a good idea. Just flush it out. Thurston Cramer, Jews up there,

flush it out with I would not do that. I am reduced. Oh, in your vagina we went tonto. And while

we're talking about putting stuff in your vagina, I always like to talk about Do sh is and how they're bad for you and how vagina should smell and all these things I like. I really wanted to have this conversation about what's what's normal. And we were gonna kind of say this the last segment. I think we may as well do it. Alec, I think this is the thing I wanna talk to. All the ladies about of like, your

vagina is probably normal.

I mean, you know, if it smells like it shouldn't or say, but as far as like, I just there's so much bad stuff that happens in the feminine hygiene more, uh, industry and like the same people that make do. She is also make modest dad and

do just give you yeast infection.

I mean again, I mean badges. Soul is now making plan B. If they're not Plan B, they're making a morning after pill. That's funny. Yeah. So there's all these weird connections, but douches across the the border bad, right? And not healthy for your China s I I would not recommend dishing it washes away the good bacteria. Jonathan upset your pH balance, which can increase. You know, the risk of bacterial vaginosis, which causes that kind of fishy smell. Um, it's really not. You don't need to clean inside your vagina. The vagina is so cleaning discharges. It's like an oven.

It takes care. Thank you. Discharge

is also normal and healthy, by the way,

of course,

and that's what I love. We were joking earlier. Like so many women, comedians obviously have done bits about discharge. Jenny Slate in

the beginning of obvious child, literally, she talks. It's so funny. If you guys hadn't seen the show, she talks about how her underpants looks like she took it

off and just ran it through a vat of cream cheese and it's It's so funny of using the movie. It's hysterical. Beginning the mission. We used to do a bit about the same thing. Like what her underwear looks like when she takes him off. Um,

but back to your vaginal assis is not a word I never heard until today. A a No, literally. Never. I'm not true because I told you happening with me yesterday. Sees me in the last 24 hours. I've never heard of this guy frantically. I'll share my truth. I again, I'm not trying to brag, but I have never had a u

T I a yeast infection or on a regular pap. But one time I got back to you. Imagine noses

twice in the summer, it wouldn't go away. Ice official bomber of crotch for like three months. What house smell different than what is it also in my So I'll

just share my story like I this This guy was sleeping with the very into college, and I think like we're just, like, lazy and drunk all the time, and I think we had sex and he probably came inside of me and I didn't do anything about it or who knows who passed out drunk, whatever. But you

you can smell that. It smells differently and in the small

tends to get stronger after sex. Right? If you notice you have kind of a funky smell and it's stronger after sex, it's yes. And so I was like, This isn't normal, obviously. And, uh, went to the doctor, Went to the guy? No. And they gave me this stuff and I had it. It was like a phone that I put in, like basically a tampon applicator and shot it up there for a week. And it was went totally. It was gone.

And the randomly that's next. The summer I was hooking up with this other guy and I got it again. And that was when I was 21 never know issues down there ever since. But it was very funny. And But again, like I think a lot of girls listening to this like I remember being so embarrassed and so like Oh, my gosh, Like it I smell bad and, like, What is wrong with me and thinking it was like some STD related? I mean, obviously hauled my ass of the guy? No, when she was like This

is not a big deal. I still don't know what it is. Contentiously bacterial infection, right? The key with the definition of what? That so bacterial

vaginosis is a vaginal infection. That happens when your pH

balance gets a little

out of whack and there's an overgrowth of bacteria. Um, it can happen for a lot of different reasons, and it can happen kind of randomly. It's not an STD, so it's not spread, you know, between partners. But sex can lead to it. Sometimes it's like your genital chemistry just reacts.

Teoh General Thomas Dudes that had dirty sperm or something. I'm kidding. But like didn't work with my body. Yeah,

there. So, you know, sometimes your body just has a reaction

to someone else's. PH. Feeling ones

off a little bit

and you can tell because the smell is that how you continually? Yes, sometimes. And that's this. A hard thing

to is because, like so when I had it, the smell is the more noticeable

part of it, and it would be a little itchy, but it would

go away, would come and go. So I was like, Oh, it doesn't feel great. But I thought maybe it was just like because it only happened for, like, a day or two, and then it would go away. But the and the smell would kind of come and go to. And it took me a while to go in because I thought I was just having, like, a bad cycle week or something. Or, you know, I think I, like, ate a bunch of pineapples

e saying that is, like, cleans their sperm up or something. I was like gnashing fruit. Like, actually, I should go to the talk. Yeah, so it can. It can

be hard to, like know for sure if you have it, but usually, like, one of the strongest indicators is like a pretty fishy smell, especially after sex. And like, a little discomfort, it can maybe burn when you pee. It can feel a little itchy Or just, you know, painful sex might be a little painful, but again, like not a big deal. Yeah, Way to go. But you do need to go see Yeah. Gynecologists. Yeah. You should go on, get um usually why space?

I have this thought about like what if we had this podcast of Madame were like, Okay, we're going to do an

episode about all the stuff that have is to men's decks and this episode be

three minutes long like that. This could just not exist. I like your both laughing quietly. Let the way I can get you. Like you can get UT eyes in a Penis. Sure, common, but it can happen. Things you should put your vagina, help your job. Don't put in your vagina. Yeah, just like this happens. It will be 30 seconds for a man. Could her men you go. But we actually

got, um, again. This is something I had when I was 21 haven't really thought about it since. So we started researching and doing stuff for this episode, but, ah, lot of the listeners wrote on the questions we submit. We asked they were BV like, which is actually look

up. Oh, I had that. But, um, also, what's interesting about prevalent? I don't know. It could be pretty problem. It's somewhere

to a yeast infection, right? Which is yeast infections or a fungal infection. But that's also like a ph balance. Is she? Oh,

which is and it's interesting, cause antibiotics

can also like for some people, trigger he East infections. Yeah, great. Sometimes

it's all bad, but it's still something. And then they get used to, you know,

Sorry. Later. So I will say Teoh trichomoniasis, which is an STD, has really similar symptoms to BV. Okay, so if you think you have BV like, you should go to the doctor because because you could have a nest in, like trick is not, You know, it's very short for treatment eyes, but it's not serious. It's easy to cure in treating everything is same thing. Antibiotics, but like you can pass it back and forth to a partner. Gotcha. So you should OK,

good to know that's like on the same level is like a comedy are Yeah, yeah, yeah, music. Not a huge deal. But you should get treated for it. Just thinking about those guys that come fuck me all up. Careful,

you don't. You and your partner's right Should be. But I only got those. You chance from one

partner is definitely ham. It's his issue. Was the bag date was that the biggest dick I use up with? Except for the guy Lawson virginity to who I slept with, like, on and off for years. Lucky me, right? I lost my virginity to, like, the biggest Penis I've ever seen.

But it's it's like this

really, really set the bar for you, huh?

You know, about,

um, do you know the answer to this? I thought I heard this. That if you're with somebody with a really huge Penis that the vagina will eventually kind of, like, grow to work with it, you get blown out more

as you suspect will grow. Do you mean, like, stretch out? Our I remember Croteau worked like over time. Is this a myth? What it like? My

question. I feel for people women that air with a guy with like a giant that is painful. And I wonder if it ever gets better. I mean, vaginas are stretchy. They birth Children, so they're they're made to accommodate, you know, and large, large widths and lengths and things

like that. But no

one should be having painful sex. Right? Um you know, in terms of someone, if they're partner is is so big, it's causing pain during sex. I think that's more like a positional thing like you just kind of have to figure out how to do positions that are Don't go super deeper. Don't hit in a way that is like, really painful Mozuki. Yeah, You lived 100%. Also, make sure you're really, like a lot of foreplay is happening that you're really warned that because as the vagina as you get more turned on, the vagina expands and, you know, highlights.

Can you use that word? Vaginal tenting, Actually, 10 team. Yeah, we're like, Yeah, interesting. Expands

to accommodate. You know, I love okay. Yeah, a lot of times it's It's just a question of extra lube. More foreplay. A caring partner who's, you know, gonna work with you. Lot of communication. What hurts? What doesn't. Right. And we You also said this earlier that if you are having pain during sex, that shouldn't happen. Talk your doctor as well. But I like those tips like this. If I like the foreplay tip, that's that's I feel that happening as a woman

like my vagina is expanding and I'm ready to go. But I'm trying to tell anyone out of sex, but also like if Penis and vagina like hurts you too much. You could get off

in other ways, right? Can use sex toys. You can use fingers. And if you're with a partner who's not cool with that, then ano reevaluate

your partner, right? Yeah, I love that. But a lot of you wanted to know about pain during sex, and I've had I think it happened. Me a lot more on as much younger is probably just like the positions I was in. But yeah, there's

I worry about. The disorder is called where your uterus is positioned to start way there. You always have painful sex. I don't know what it's called, but yeah, I mean, again, you talk to a doctor because it

shouldn't be happening. And yeah, and sometimes

throughout your cycle to your cervix can kind of move a, you know, a little bit in your body. So, like they're like, I mean, for me personally, there's some times during my cycle where sex is painful and sometimes where it's not. But I've I've talked to my doctor about that she identified There was like, no issue, and it was just, you know, a question of where my cervix was sitting at the time. And you know what? Positions were being used. So Okay, that can happen.

We covered a lot of ways. Still have more. We're gonna do a little bit more of, like, a rapid fire round, but I mean,

way don't have a ton left. You really, like, covered a lot of stuff here. So we did we ask you off 17 times? Right? So

we asked you to submit questions. There was some extraneous ones. Were like, Okay, we'll just throw them out Well, to a deep dive. In short, maybe you can answer them. If

you can't, you'll just say passed Way went through him All hold on him. Look, we literally went through them off, all right? This is kind of is this segment is a game. Whatever. Who cares? Let's just go through the stuff that we haven't really. I like that Somebody wrote about she asked about cuisine. Oh, and she said, She said it makes her anxious

and she's scared

to try different position. Honey, give it t Talk about leaving is literally just air that trapped in

there and comes comes out. It's not like it's not

a like a fart from your. But now I mean, I understand I'm not

trying to make fun of people's like self consciousness,

but it's just a funny word. It is a funny word. It could be a little distracted. Part is funny, but like, but it's I hate that it's even called a far. It was like yesterday sometimes that yoga

like I do what I would. You hot yoga, some really sweaty. I wear

a sports bra so everyone's well, you'll lay down on the mat and like it'll like up from, like your small of your back. And it sounds good for me. What you're gonna say, you're you quit during. You also have a totally Here's Emily like certain positions were like air congest. Suck, right? Absolutely. Yes, it is. I I hate that it's called a vagina far because the far it means it smells. There's guy. It's literally just yeah, there's non smelly. I mean, if your party is your if your partner's

giving you go for that like

that's It's very

so. Just means you're getting dicked out real good. Like if

e like if you're if you're getting pounded

out hard enough to get a bunch of air in there. I don't really

e I think we said this. Um,

we did this in episode earlier where we were like, we just need to change the stigma around Queefing like it means that you just got really got laid. Really? Well, it's like how you burp after a good

meal. Like it's basically like your vagina happens to me during sucks.

Sometimes I will be like, that wasn't a fart, like, just so they know. And

yet they gonna be like valves. My post. He just f y i and the guys usually like I know I'm like, OK, cool on the same page. Because I understand maybe not wanting t them to think that's what thing to say during sex that wasn't a far, um, Let's see what else we have. This one feels personal to me. How I know which is gonna be. You probably wrote it.

I could have written it, and I don't care. I know the answer. I read articles on it. How important is wearing underwear for your vaginal health?

Ooh, interesting. I don't wear underwear. Okay. And I remember reading article in Cosmo years ago. That was like, Well, you just said you don't get eyes. Yeah, clearly, yes. It's OK for you. I tried to go. I try to be cool and I go without

paintings for a week, and I got a raging yeast infection. Never again. Yeah,

that was a long time ago, but I and also my pants got gross. Really? Yes. I think it's gross. In the sense you get used infections. It just would I? Where does your discharge? So I don't think I a lot of district. I mean, if it works for you, If you're not having problems, then it's bad for you. Yeah, and I mean, yeah.

If I defy dio, then like these go in the hamper, you know, like, but you laundry

more than ideo. But no, I mean generally they do

say it's good to work hot and crouched underwear. It helps, you know, keep the vagina dry, pull moisture away and like back and, you know, be better for people who may be more prone to things like bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections. But

if you're out there not

wearing underwear and you're not noticing any issues than do you, then you then it's fine. You're not you know, doing something terribly dangerous. It's dangerous for your post.

I got one, and I sort of I'm not sure. Can birth people affect your sex drive then? Interesting. Yeah, it's not a super common side effect.

A little depends on the birth control method. Actually, that's actually is why I got my hormonal I e. D. Taken out because

I thought it might be affecting my sex drive. Turns

out, when I got taken out, didn't get a

whole lot better and others of her stuff going on, and then I broke up with him. But you know that that is, that's kind of what's

hard about, like, you know, tricky about, like, hormonal

stuff like it's hard to figure out like a

lot of these. A lot of things that people attribute to hormones and birth control can be caused by other

other low interest rate. And, like, I

mean to kind of borrow a common example. There is a lot of people are convinced that the birth control pill makes you gain a lot of weight. I am also a person who gained a lot of weight when I was taking the birth control pill and Then I went off the pill and I lost a lot of weight.

But study after study shows that the pill is not clinically

proven toe lead to weight gain for most people. So a lot of times what happens is people start using a method. But then something else their lifestyle changes, you know, they go to college. So maybe they gain would like something in their lifestyle changes that causes them to gain weight or have another side effect. And they kind of attribute it to the birth control, not saying that none of these things ever

happen to people.

But it can be kind of tricky to pinpoint what is You know what? That is the opposite, Okay. And a few other people I talked to I don't know. It's very this bizarre. So I love that you said

that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean,

when I when I talk to my gynecologist by my idea was like,

you know, it feels like my sex drive has gone down a little bit, and she's like, you know, it's not a super common side effect of the hormonal

lady, but I have taken them out of women for this reason, and they tend to feel better. Afterwards

and again, I got it taken out and I didn't really notice much

of a difference. And I may go back and get it back in one day. Uh,

but it

is like it is a side effect that can't happen. And if that's an experience that you're having talked to your doctor and they'll know more about whether this specific method that you're on is, like, you know, could be contributing to whatever you're experiencing. Cool. Good. Someone wrote a question. What do you do with a small dick? What don't

you do with a song? Same that you do with the big day? I just like the way they phrase I know I love it. I picture this girl like, what am I supposed to do with this? Do you have any advice? I mean, I wish I wish I had a little more specifics of sex, educator. She what? She really wants to be told about this. I mean,

I don't think that Penis size is I mean, I'm not gonna say it's not important because some people have preferences, and that's totally okay. I have preferences, but I also think that you know, there any number of things that can make sex feel good and, you know, a big Penis isn't the bill and all. There's lots of other ways to experience, like, you know, deep and full penetration, if that's what you want. Like maybe by a sex toy and, you know, get your jollies that way with your partner, use fingers or things like that.

I mean, also, I think it's worth noting that

most of the nerve endings in the vagina are towards the entrance. And, you know, the G spot is only a couple inches up and in,

so sometimes a small Penis can actually

like hit spots You didn't realize. I love that, you know, 100%. We're into a whole episode about masturbation and orgasms and the G spot, and I'm coming up with somebody that we love.

But yeah, I mean, for me, most of my orgasms come from external stimulation. Anyways,

that's another good point, like or the majority. I think of people with Olga's clitoral stimulation,

where it's at least a position where somebody is penetrating me and and there are at least stimulating my clit in some way. So, like I don't mind a smaller Decca Guess

an average size Penis does not bother. May get Oh, no. I mean, I'm telling you, like I feel I'd rather that than some huge Penis. That is painful,

you know? I mean, and also to me for things

like anal sex. Like maybe that's something you wanted to do. But you're afraid of coal. Great

side. So here is your answer. I have anal sex if they don't want to. But like if

you've been curious to try it But you're afraid that maybe a Penis might be too

big or not feel that good? Maybe this is the answer. What do I do with a small dick? Put it in your But there is the If you want Teoh and

and Mr Small Dick wants to then by

only make jobs easier. I mean, literally everything. You literally do everything team small dick. I would I would bump you with the like Oh God, I feel like this feels like a good place to wrap up. Ending it on team Small deck team Small Penis is a good size for anal team. All Penis eyes were vaginas

all penises. I'm gonna be that annoying person and say you mean Volvos and not vaginas. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Like the inside part? Yeah. Vagina. Is that the two Between the vulva and the uterus and the vulva is all the outside part

of what you're looking at me like, Oh, I didn't notice, did you? It's like your lips and stuff for your vulva. So people out here saying the wrong word sex educators have been trying to, like, change the game. Change this, You know that I'm getting to

be out. Labia, Majora, Labia. Majora The lid. Yeah, the entrance to the vagina. All the all the external stuff is the vulva. The vagina is literally just the tube between the open air is right now. Cervix,

Are you blown away? Schukin? Why have we been saying the wrong word? I like the word vulva better. Oh, do

you hate the word vulva?

Which is really bad. I mean, I say a word.

I don't love the way I like. I like vulva. Feels more fun to say

than vagina. Let's

make bold a

fun again. We'll be back again. Um, Okay, well, I love ending it on this. The brain teaser of a In fact, you just shared thought. This is great that you were really waiting to cover this for a lot of I s I hope that our listeners fairly excited. I feel like

you really did a lot of topics. Justice? Yes. Thank you So much pain. So wonderful fun. It was so fantastic.

So Candle Mackenzie. She's amazing. Yeah. Thank you for everything. Thank you so much. Thank you. And as always, you guys

could find us. That girl's got a podcast on Instagram. Ah, and then merchandise tickets. All the things, girls. A podcast dot com. Um, tour dates were on Twitter as she does the Twitter. Sure, it's funny, but I don't know how to use it.

Thank you so much for your candle again. Bye bye.