the following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content and strong language. Basically all the good stuff. Jamie, why are we here?

We're here because my dad's in the corner. That's written report. Erotic literature thing. James. Alice. Thanks very much for doing this with no problem, Jamie. There aren't that many people would want to be sat around a kitchen table with reading out my dad's erotic

literature. I can't believe we made the cut.

Well, we go back a long way, Alice. What can I say? I can't trust this sort of material with my new friends. So, guys, this podcast should be pretty simple. Is basically going to be May in YouTube on. I'm gonna be reading a chapter a week of my dad's porno

novel. What's it called?

Well, do you want the full title? Yes, because it is called Belinda blinked. Belinda blinks. Belinda blinked. Is that her name? Belinda's Her name? Hot? Yeah, it's a sexy day.

Was I think, dinner lady. And then I think, What's she going to do? What? You gotta serve up his sexy lady. I don't know whether he's confused,

winking and blinking. Eyes blinking isn't the most

sexy and that makes me think like found. Think cataract

blankets of one on. Maybe just go to the alliteration He wanted it to be B so there's

no other word that begins with Bay so blank.

But the rial title to give it a full time is Belinda Blinked one. A modern story of sex, erotica and passion. How the sexiest salesgirl in business earned her a huge bonus by being the best at removing her high heels,

removing her high heels.

That's the

title Thought that was the blood. No, that's the title. He's used up a lot of his work out there. I just couldn't get on Twitter. I don't know how I'd feel if my dad wrote porn. I don't know how I'd feel if anyone a new road. Poor, Weirdly,

I don't feel that weird about it. Which people were quite surprised when I evidently you're

like broadcasting it?

I do think it's great that he feels comfortable enough to share his innermost fantasies with world. He heard about the success of, as he says, 50 colors of grey. 50 Think actually red. I think he heard it was successful,

got bootleg.

Copy him and my mom have both been quite into the self publishing on got a bit carried away and they start off doing that little travel guides. And now they've gone into porn. He's going to pull Mom's very much against. That's the problem. Is self publishing is there's no quality control like anyone could do anything. What you suggesting? Jones has no quality.

Let's adjust it. We're on a roller coaster ride of quality.

I think it's a pair of fun is in there for a 60 year old man to just write about.

So the six year old man in question is your dad. Yeah, we will be referring to him by his pen name.

His pen name is Rocky Flintstone.

How that wasn't taken my mind. And if you get your fucking Flintstone, he's the first here Later. How do you come to that? Well, I think

it's a fan of the fence does, and maybe the really rocky but

Rocky Flats, a genius is quite pornographic. Movie were filled out by, if

you will. We didn't grow up on a street called Flintstone ever Pac called Rocky, so they know where he started from. But it kind of works,

but he will be referred Thio, hence for Rocky, Mr Flint virus. So you're cool with it. How did your mom think

about it? Mums less cool about it. Definitely moments like this uber feminist. And she is not happy. I think she's mainly unhappy that people look. I think it's about her or about Koshis. Belinda's well, I want to say right here right now. She is no, and she's made that

very clear. I have so many questions. So when you first presented this work of art

to us, we should say I have three sisters and my dad decided to give me is the only son. The preview pages of Blender blinked, and I had to share it with you guys in it. I started to

read it. In fact, what an inheritance

seriously contacts that Christmas

wasn't We were having a Christmas dinner, and you thought it was wise to bring the draft copy. Well, we've

had quite a few bottles of wine, and I thought, You know what? This party's going nowhere. So let's get rocky above. We haven't actually read anything beyond the first chapter.

Well, we've read the preliminary draft. We haven't actually heard the finished product that could be polished? I don't

know. It was

a work of art. Was the version I've heard should not be altered. Apart from the door, typo Rocky, leave it! It's perfect. I am I right in thinking that, um, this is in no way, uh, autobiographical. But your dad has drawn perhaps on some of his fun to see Is it fair to say I think that that's why I think you should feel uncomfortable Way

read the blurb.

Oh, my goodness, I haven't even got to the audience.

Seriously? Okay. Ready? Belinda Blumenthal.

We thought that that is the least sexy name I've ever heard.

A reservation again. I think I'm sensing a theme. Belinda Blumenthal Belinda Blumenthal gets exciting, solicited sex regularly so regularly. In fact, she makes big bonuses from it. Based in London, UK, Belinda works for steals, pots and pans as their world. What? What's hot from pounding again is the sexiest of

industry. I don't think if you work in pots and pans, you call them pots and pans. I feel like there's a more official title like you'd work in a kitchen where Hi, I'm head of pots and pans for a major distributor.

Well, she's a sales director, so it doesn't work directly with the ports. More pounds.

Apology just right. It is sexy. Sorry. Kind of

men work in the pots and pans business? Nothing. No, we're about to find out. Sexually supported by Giselle and Bella, her head office colleagues. Belinda always gets the order when it comes down to the bare facts. The client base is large. So Belinda has the whole world to fuck on. Gloria. How does she get stuck into it?

That's okay. So this is the first to blub. We have even bought the book. Yeah.

This is the first book in the Belinda blinked. Siri, This is the first book. It's a series of how many? I mean, those guys that limit optimistic Dad wants to do. He wants. He wants them to be a serious like, I believe the blinked in Saudi Arabia,

North Korea.

I think he's interested in mixing his two passions, Belinda and traveled.

So this is gonna be

a franchise. Oh, yeah. He's gonna be on Oprah in no time. This is the first book in the blender blink. Siri's where she gets hired by Tony, her managing director, and then goes on to make some sales headway by bringing on board a large European customer, Peter

Rouse or Peter Rouse.

Oh, maybe Israel's Peter Rouse and makes his initial in roads to the North American market through Jim Sterling.

Like some business blurb in that

when he was sent me about how he was gonna market. But in the Blink one on any sort of Internet search, the key words are lesbian erotica on business and leadership. They're gonna be dreams of students. Study is going Oh, my God, Belinda blink.

So I take off my blouse. It's like you just looked at my search history read about

the sexual conquest these men make and how the mysterious duchess makes.

I'm excited about the Duchess, is it? The Congress of the men are about Belinda and also the duchess. Oh my God!

And how the mysterious duchess makes Belinda alive to the sexual fantasies of the hot riding set through supple black riding boots. George pers on leather handled whips so that turns into a kind of an equestrian lately. On one side, he's got a L. James. The other side. Jilly Cooper. I think that's where he's

mainly on the other side. A kind of like business user manual

on Fred Flintstone.

Okay, so shall we go for it? Shall we do Chapter one?

Oh, my God.

We are going to stop me, Jamie,

You can't stop me too much, though, because, you know, there's a rhythm to these things. So what's chapter one called? Chapter one is called the Job interview

with Exactly about that. This is I feel like this isn't gonna be, You know, you have been applying for the right job, James.

Okay, we're ready.

Wait there.

Okay. So Belinda blinked Chapter one, the job interview. But Linda blinked.

That's what it's called Belinda. Blink still don't have much light on the subject. To be honest,

Belinda blinked. It wasn't a dream. The job interviewer had just asked her to remove her jacket and silk blouse.

A great dream that would they,

The managing director across the desk, who had innocently brought her through from reception, smiled and nodded at her slowly with a hint of a tease. But then, to remove the two garments, her black Brazil was doing overtime to contain a full breaths.

Okay, right. Let's pull us. Why she wearing an ill fitting bra? I don't think that

it's ill fitting so much as her breasts are so enormous that it it's working hard to contain

smoking hard, though it's not failing it. Over time I got the image. I just got this image of some kind of spilling out muffin top situation. Many women as Trinny and Susannah tortures, are wearing the wrong size bra. So maybe Rocky, so that all those years ago, and is weaving that into the narrative of social commentary on the way that women dressed. I like that I also love the use of bras. Yeah, because bra no, a sexy is brass here, I mean to me. So far, nothing's been sexy for talking about. She blinked. By

the beginning of her black Frasier was doing overtime to contain her full breasts. She had worn this one for today, but it was tight fitting on purpose. She never thought it would be exposed in such a simple way,

and so it's been exposed in a simple way, the only way to expose something by taking away the thing that has concealed it. Until now.

I mean, I think Maybe he's getting at the fact that, you know, it wasn't an elaborate situation that got rid of the garment. She was asked to do it. She

did it. It was simple. She's just sat there in a brow, this

bizarre. The MD got up and took her blouse and jackets. He hung them on to one of two elegant wooden coat racks in the corner and sat back down. What next? Belinda thought the interview. It resumed his questioning of Percy V and, after about five minutes, asked her to remove her knee length skirt. Belinda stood up, removed the offending garment and passed it with some surprise

to the MD surprise moved everything else. Why is she not questioning any of this matters? You know, the offending Darman Tosca on

Underneath. She was wearing a skimpy black song and sexy black stockings, which she didn't apologize for.

The number of times I felt the need to apologize. And I just happen about Wes skimpy underwear.

After all, she was an upmarket

woman. I mean, we've established this every way. A clothes job interview. Belinda has class.

That's what we get. He does. He's a classy lady. She sat down again and crossed her long legs. She knew they look good, but she really felt she wanted to keep her private pussy area

hidden. I'm sorry, what that's like. Three words for the genitals. Private. What's a public pussy area on also, what's area? How much How much land does that cover? A private pussy area that could be from knee to

hip? Belinda lean back on the white leather seat and started to gently sweat

erotic oh, nothing sexier than a sweaty lady. After a further

10 minutes of questioning, the MD got up and walked around to Belinda. He gently pulled her stockings down to her ankles. He removed her bright red high heels and stuff the stockings inside. Um oh my God! They were placed under the coat rack by the interviewer. Belinda was now feeling exposed.

Their stocks have gone. She's now it's pose. Now she's expecting a classy lady. Those cars have a chill, but

it was now feeling exposed with only a bra and thong left. She thought total nakedness was not far

away or nakedness as its

gold. And then what? And

then what escape? Gonna shave her head

shaved her private pussy. Oh, good.

Then it would be a public with you. I'm starting to gently sweat the

empty, then surprised her by saying they wanted to offer her the job of the

sales director. Oh may, she says The same level is surprised that she got the job as when she's being asked to strip. She's just that constantly

surprise is that the only reason that she got the job is sales director. Well,

this is the question. I feel

like that's what's going to develop. Oh, hang on. I didn't finish the sentence. Oh, the MD, then surprised by saying they wanted to offer the job, is their sales director today on completion of a few further details.

Oh, let's get me something sexy. Surely

Belinda was surprised. Belinda was surprised, as the job is worth £85,000 a year, plus the car on all the travel perks. So she nodded her head. I

didn't even say yes, just melted watches a passive just say great dream job. Brilliant. But she said a word. Not a single word

with her agreement given the MD walked behind her, unhooked the tight, black

Ferrari. Whoa! Whoa! Her agreement was given to the job. Gee isn't just about the bro. I didn't remember him mentioning the bra. Maybe I missed it in all the excitement by swear he just mentioned the £85,000 a year in the travel perks. Now, if he'd mention the bra, I'm not sure she would have been so obliging.

Belinda's breasts plunged to freedom on her nipples, immediately stood under. It was immediately stood to attention.

How they plunging? How old is she? Got high five. My favorite bit so far. Thank you so much attention. But yet I just think Rocky is mistaken in thinking that women would like anything on their person to plunge when, when layers of closing a removed.

I mean, I dread to think what's gonna happen when she takes her knickers off the MD. Sat down in a praised her whilst the interviewer calmly ask her to stand up and remove her phone.

Sorry, aware of two people turned up from that is just one way.

Have any brand new

MD an interviewer and their

separate. They all said yes.

So the thung is about to come off. Oh my God, is this

where I get sexy a shaven

pussy was revealed. Oh, sorry. Good morning.

A shaven pussy was revealed with just a delicate runway of dark pubic hair guiding any viewers.

You put you got any

viewer to the top of her vagina.

If you need a guide in there, you've already gone wrong, right? If you've got that far, where else you gonna go? Like it's either fight tummy. I mean, like, you're in the right area, right? You like why? Like, yeah, Why do you need, like,

a narrow point? To be fair, it is guiding the viewer to the top of

the vagina, right? So if you're looking for the top kind of like it this way up arrow, maybe

it's a narrow. Maybe that's what it is at the hour of pubes,

like adopted to kind of like, you know, like adopted line on a runway.

Now sit down and relax. Mr. Blumenthal obviously said the interview. Yeah, that was said the interviewer. In fact, just spread your legs wide so we could get a good look at your internal attributes interview. It's thorough. You know, it's the first time it isn't £85,000 a year job with car

trouble put on apparently medical e really hope the MD is a trained gynecologist.

Belinda lay back in the leather chair and spread her legs wide as requested. Her vaginal lids popped

open and elaborate thing. I mean, I'm no expert on the vagina, Alice. Maybe you can enlighten us. Does vagina have lids? I have never thought of it as a top where Bach vaginal lives popped open. Asses blesses. Let that percolate

for a while. It gets worse. Her vaginal lids popped open on her lab. You'll pinkness was there for them to assess.

Wow, what's so much to talk about? So no, sexy? Is her vagina a car boot? You don't think this is sexy?

I'm not that turned on. But it is my father's erotic fantasy

of lab. You'll witness. Sorry. Stop here. What do you think? When you know that your dad wrote that sentence? I think he needs to. I got my mama, but I think we should get Rocky. Maybe a little. You know, birds and bees book. Maybe, but maybe that's what you had a pop up sex book and I think

she quickly became moist on a run love liquid trickle down her left lower thigh

really left lower fi. That's May. Wow. So she's sweating. There's Runnels Hui, dehydrated off

the MD. Then said, My

name is Tony on. Now's the time for an introduction just introducing

himself. I love totally alleged. And you're My name is Tony. A new report directly to me. Bill here is our human resources director, and he's available to you at all times. You might need him as you have a direct staff of 28 some of whom may need fucking off.

Okay, Can you imagine if Belinda was your line manager? Waited. You nodding and blinking much in the room. Even put your vaginal away. Belinda are on Your lids are popping,

Belinda. Nor readiness, which was to her The obvious question,

but unused syntax is taking a very unusual turn. When

are you guys gonna fuck me?

Now? She speaks been nodding, and that's the first thing that she must be about 45 minutes since they matter. I mean, that's not like you know how many thousands of pounds with the travel books. So I get a year. Female protagonists go. She's very passive

so far. You know, Maybe she's a slow burn.

I just feel that I just feel like she's doing a lot of nodding. A lot of smiling, blinking, blinking, you know, I

was looking for 40.

That's our calling card. Granted. Yeah, I just I mean, this is a very forward move for Belinda, but you don't

think that that shows that she's quite a strong character, you know, you should just

she's just got things to do. She wanted to wrap this up. So when are they gonna fuckin James got places to be, too? I don't want to be Belinda about it'll, but Belinda is like business, isn't she? She's like, what? We're gonna do this?

Well, this is the story about how they got to the top of business

all business because they won't know

a specific business business business. When you guys gonna fuck me, Tony quickly replied, Well, Bill here never will. It's not his area of responsibility.

Charming. Also, it's like no one's responsibility. I don't want, like some like pity shag from Bill. Well, we'll tell you what your pension is, but he will not have that. He will observe you stripping in a job interview, and he will also tell you what you should be putting away weekly as a saving scheme.

He has got the employees interested? Sure.

Bill. Three. End of Bill. Say what you think Bill gets killed in the wind sex game.

Well, Bill here never will. It's not his area of responsibility. And I might, depending on how hard you work for me. But let's get to the point. Belinda, the reason we put you through this scenario is to ensure your positive reaction to certain members of our customer base. He will definitely try you out.

So Thistle is ridiculous. I'm sorry. Like when you take it, If

you don't read, you know, erotica.

I don't really erotica. Can I address that as someone

who doesn't either. But I would imagine. Sure you don't. We aren't looking for capturing the Rye, Are we? Like this is this is a plot isn't the most important thing

here. Yeah, but at the same time, I mean I mean, I never happen. It wouldn't happen. But, you know, maybe this is the pots and pans industry. Maybe this is just an area that we just don't know about. Maybe Dad's office. I think it's an expose. Maybe pots and pans are filthy good.

So I have to ask you here and now. Does this give you any problems? Belinda blinked.

You blinked again. She's She's definitely got something in her eye.

Linda blinked, shook her head and said, As long as I have your on the company's backing, I will do whatever is necessary to make the sales happen.

I

think this shows that she is that I'll have to disagree with you, Alice. I think this shows that she is a strong character because she knows what she wants, and she is unafraid to go an unorthodox route to success. And I think that should be champion in our society.

Good first Got the job. I suppose it's success story. She did wear that bra's here on purpose. If we recall from the paragraph one and she didn't apologize for a start, he didn't apologize for it, and I imagine that's how she means to

go on a great character.

Well written. Good about them, Bill.

Well done, Belinda said. Tony has a large smile, crossed his rugged features.

Turchin izing Well done. Tony started quite handsome, too, Like Tony, I think I always imagine Tony to be really now the naturally I thought you liked worlds on Belinda. Oh, sure you do. Your voices, maybe Chapter two weeks in December was introduced

them Tony, then dismiss Bill. Thanks.

God think. Clearly thinks the same as we do. Still fired.

Either way is out of Tony. Then dismiss Bill and said to him as he left the room, send in Giselle with the contract.

Giselle. I mean, come on. I know what works for a pots and pans Company is called Giselle.

After a few minutes, a 26 year old, stunningly attractive blond haired girl joined them with notebook and chief of papers in hand.

It's Belinda still naked, by the way. I think

about that. Put the paperwork down. Gisela, Meet Belinda, our new sales director. Linda stood up still totally naked, thank you, and shook Giselle's hand.

Polite, no, appropriate, though it's of a naked woman was stood in front of me. I won't go take a hand. I don't think Giselle's got it going on upstairs.

Let's say she doesn't pay attention. Belinda shook yourselves home. Touche. In response, Giselle held Belinda's face in her hand and kissed her fully square

on the lips in response. Team handshake just has not been brought

up right now. Just say it was This is a ll one sentence. I think I should be. In response, Giselle. Hell. Belinda's face in her hand and kissed her fully square on the lips. Belinda instinctively opened her mouth and Giselle's tongue snaked in and they both shared the touching of ecstasy. At that magical moment, Giselle started to strip off. It didn't take long. She wasn't wearing any underwear. And Belinda thought This girl does this too often for it to be a once in a lifetime event. I'm with Melinda. I mean, that's what I was thinking, really. Who removing clothes is a once in a lifetime event. I

think people getting naked in office should, you know, never happen.

However, Giselle was a magnificent creature, tits that were to die for and then ask that was so tight. Even Belinda felt tested, though she was equal in every respect and in all truth felt she had better shaped boobs.

So to make that kind of says that Belinda, you know, she's she's young Scott. I mean, we were thinking about the plunging before Yeah, this Israel inside actually into Belinda's busy

because just tits that were to die for. But Belinda feels that her breaths are better shape.

Do we think that means she's older than Giselle? Because she's kind of comparing but going, Actually, I'm better,

possibly with soft, deft actions. She soon had Belinda gasping. Belinda could only respond by sucking Giselle's breasts and t that her nipples vigorously.

There must be other options. What you mean she could only respond that way? Two thumbs up. He signed his load of ways to respond. You think? D thing. Giselle's going red role. It seems to be getting We're getting into

the corner. Is the graphics the last sentence? We're on the last sentence. Not bad for a final interview for the job of her dreams. So that was chapter warm,

I think at all stages of reading this book, we should never forget that your dad wrote this from his mind, and that is both scary. And no, it's just scary. It's

kind of funny, and you're jealous. That can doesn't

mean you can into this Sunday. Yeah, let's no use people's real names. All right?

So next week we're gonna be tackling Chapter two, which is called Jim Row, Please the leather room.

Stop it. No, wiped clean. So are you turned on? Are you not turned on? Do you have questions about anatomy? We can answer them all. Get in touch with us. You can either tweet us fire at dad, wrote a porno email us. My dad wrote a porno at gmail dot com or find some Facebook. My dad wrote A porno is the name of Paige. How many emails do you think we'll get from people who are in the same boat as you? Jamie,

I'm hoping money. We could make a fraternity and you can buy the book. You can buy the book get. You could buy the book if you Google. Belinda blinked. First hit. I thinks Amazon. You can get it on Amazon and get it on iTunes to think scribe to get it in many different formats. So have a download. Have a read read along with us next

week. I think that's the best way to do it. I think Thio read along at the same pace, and it's not a lot to read week

by week, but nothing could be your six year old father writing porn.

Good night, kids. Thanks