The Art of Overcoming Fear of Failure with Jon Taffer
The Art of Charm
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Full episode transcript -

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the advanced specialists at the Center for Innovative G. Y N Care developed groundbreaking, minimally invasive techniques to treat fibroids, endometriosis and other G y N conditions in response to growing concerns over the Corona virus. C i G. C now offers e visits. No giant conditions. Don't stop affecting your life. See, I g. C. Wants to be here for you as you seek options to find relief from debilitating gynecologic symptoms such as abnormal bleeding and pelvic pain. With telemedicine options Now available, Book a consultation at innovative julienne dot com or call 888 surgery. That's innovative. G y n dot com or 888 surgery Welcome back to the Arctic Charm podcast. I'm A J and I'm Johnny and much like yourselves,

we're currently sitting in lock down here in the state of California. We hope everyone is safe and making the most of this crisis. Johnny, how are your routines going? My routines are great, and all the extra work that I had taken on is allowed me to keep my mind focused on the right things rather than oh, the wrong things. And I think with all of us looked in, we have plenty of time for our mind wander, and it's important to focus that mind. Well, I know a lot of our listeners are enjoying their morning cup of coffee with you. Johnny, you're going live every day at 8:30 a.m. Pacific on our social media Twitter instagram, you name it. Yes,

that's on our weekdays. And that is one of the task that I decided to take on when this happened. In order. The document. My thoughts. That's historical moment, and it has a way to focus my mind on something productive. So if you're looking to get your cup of morning Joe in and gets, um, Arctic charm tips and tricks, check out Johnny Going live every weekday morning at 8:30 a.m. On our social media. Welcome back to the Arctic Storm Podcast, a show where we bring you actual tips and strategies on how to supercharge your social skills and turn that boring small talk into smart talk. Surround yourself with the army of high status individuals and grow your social capital. Unlock your hidden Chris not to crush it and business love in life. Now that's what we do here at the art of charm.

And it's been a month since the world changed forever. You know that after this crisis you're gonna end up in one of three situations, one worse off to about the same or three at the next level. And just think about this. This is a historical moment, one that you're going to have to live with for the rest of your life. And everyone, as long as we're alive, are gonna be asking, What did you do during that? Two months of quarantine during Cove It were you watching that Flix chilling? Were you playing video games? Were you trying to pass the time Where you just doing time? Do you know who else does? Time prisoners. They have nothing but time that kill.

They're trying to get over. You're not a prisoner. You're free. You have an opportunity to learn a new skill to connect and make new friendships and lay the groundwork for your new career right out and have a wonderful story to tell for the rest of your life about how you use this time. If you're ready to take action during this crisis and not let it go to waste, join our communication accelerator. Now is the time to look for the opportunities plant the seeds you need to flourish after the crisis and catapult yourself ahead. Now is John discusses. In today's episode, there will be opportunities to capitalize on if you know the right people have the network and, most importantly, our courageous. Inside the accelerator, we give you our battle tested strategies to create your own luck when everyone else is frozen. We even started this company during the recession in 2008 utilizing these same strategies to grow our own network to bring on these amazing guests. And we dive deep into our networking strategies,

and we break down our social capital networking framework so that you can give value to others and grow your dream network from home, including all of our best secrets toe online branding and building your Lincoln head over to the arctic charm dot com slash accelerate. That's the art of charm dot com slash accelerate to make the most of this crisis and to look back and remember what you did and how you grew during this time. Now, if you enjoy the show, don't forget to subscribe and tell your friends. Today we're speaking with John Tafur. John is probably best known as the host of the TV series Bar Rescue, which is now in its seventh season. He's one of the country's top experts on bars, clubs and restaurants, and we're excited to get some inside tips from him today. John is also the author of the book Don't bullshit Yourself. We're gonna be talking about some of the bullshit excuses we all have to deal with. And he's also the host of the John Tafur podcast. So good to have you with us,

John, Thank you for being here today. Hit show on TV, fixing bars and restaurants that are struggling. And right now I feel like that is every bar in restaurant we know on the planet. This Corona virus has shut all of them down, and it spent. It sent a lot of business owners into a tailspin and really looking into the future and thinking about how we come out of this. I'd love to hear your perspective on what we can do to support those who are so vital to our communities and especially Johnny and I being very familiar with the industry having a lot of friends who own bars and restaurants as well. Ah, heart goes out to them. We're just breaking right now thinking about it.

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It's an awful situation if we talk about today and then we talk about what happens when the pandemic ends the two completely separate issues that we have to deal with them a separate way. And I was pleased to hear it least that the president is looking at a separate task force for the restarting of America than the task force that's focused on getting a street of pandemic A couple of things to think about. Some people were doing pretty well with delivery and curbside delivery, but a curbside pickup. This is a very different time for restaurants, and it's all about trust. Now. We don't go pick the food we want today. We picked a restaurant we trust right now, and that's a big dynamic and change. For example, the other day I was on social media guys and there's a gentleman Ah, cook chef, about 50 years old, standing in front of a stainless steel counter, and he's laying a noodle down in his lasagna and the post says, Our famous lasagna is ready for curbside pickup at five o'clock.

The guy's wearing gloves, but he's wearing street clothes. There's no mask on his face, there's no hat on his head. And he's sending all the wrong message cities that we haven't changed. It's an industry, I really think. And I created Tafur Stabbing, which opens in July, and it's the pitch into the future. It's all robotic, and the premise of Pathways Tavern is that it looks more like this operating room than it does the kitchen. The kitchen of the future guys has people not wearing street clothes in it. They're wearing a hat, but not from home. Like a surgeon would wear a hat over their head that has that comes out of a uniform,

been not street clothes. They're wearing a mask over their face, so they're not breathing on food and they're wearing gloves. I mean, we use an industry have to change right now, So when I think of that guy with that picture making that resign, he sending all the wrong messages to people. Now there are other drive throughs. I won't mention brand names, guys, but there's a drive through that. You drive through. It is a big window when you get to the drive through window and there's white tiles in the kitchen and they're in white suits and they're in white hats and it's been this way all along. You go to that place because it's so clean, and I asked you a question. If you close your eyes and foot,

What restaurant brand is famous for being clean? There isn't one they're famous for. Ribs are famous for chicken or famous to this. Nobody is famous for clean, but yet that's the image we have to project today. It's a messaging has to change. Visuals have to change. Procedures have to change, You know, in our Staffers Tavern model, they committed street clothes. They put on a suit that we provide. They put on their gloves in her hatch. They take their temperature, which is logged in a computer system. It's taken every two hours.

We're monitoring hand washing, so it's a different style of operating. We have to operate different. We have to communicate very differently, and we have to motivate differently. So goes that air doing that or winning Tiffany Dairy in Dallas, Texas, who you've seen on my show. She sold well over 201. She's biting delivery and curbside yesterday because she's sending the right messages. Think about that in her little restaurants to do 200 covers a normal lunch she's duplicated her business with to go because her messaging this right, she's created trustworthiness about procedures in process and delivery. That's what's going to get us out of. This is one simple word trust, and we will go to the businesses we trust. There's another element about capacity, but what do you guys you guys agree with? What I'm saying is that where we're going is as an industry,

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well, 100%. I also spent 12 years in North Carolina, and it's funny. I just saw a friend who who posted that their local barbecue places doing better now than they ever have. First of all, it was local. There was that trust build up, and just the way that they've been handling their curbside service has kept that trust and even brought more for for the service that they were doing and messages in A J. And I know just even in our own business, that message has to change with how people's temperaments are in order to reach them. Our temperaments are gonna be fueled by our emotions. And if you're unable to tap it senses emotions. That message is going to go right over your

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head. I completely agree. And then we take a look. Let's assume we build trust and let's assume that you feel this is a safe environment and that you trust the food service guys that, you know you trusted. The kitchen is clean. I'd be putting Internet cameras in my kitchen today. I want you to see that I want you to be able to go online and see you. My sanitation. I want to send that message. I want you to know it. I want it to be transparent, and I want you to trust me after the pandemic ends. We're not gonna pack in the bars and restaurants so quickly was certainly not gonna pack in a football stadium stuff so quickly. You know, we're not going to sit shoulder to shoulder with people. So think about every restaurant and bar in America or every movie theater,

every Broadway show, anything that I call an L, B E and L B E is location based entertainment. Whether it's a Boeing center, a movie theater, a bar or restaurant, he's a location based entertainment facilities. You're not going to sit shoulder to shoulder with a stranger next month or next week or two months, or probably three or four months from now. So every restaurant and every bar, every movie, theater, everybody, every business that is in that type of an L B E format going forward loses capacity. When we come out of this, a restaurant has to spread tables of borrowers to spread bar seats.

A movie theater cast a scratch seating. So let's say that based upon different floor plans and different physical configurations, we lose 30% of our seating capacity, 40%. In some situations, it's 50 60% of capacity is lost while she's. What about a restaurant that does 100 covers during an hour during lunch that now is reduced to 70 covers or 60 covers, so 30% of revenue potential is done. That's horrifying if we think about it. But wait a minute. There's business models we can create around this on. I want to twist twist this for a second. What if I told you that the end of this pandemic might be the greatest marketing opportunities of all time. What if I told you the end of this pandemic is the opportunity for people who were geniuses and communications to goto work, people who were geniuses and process and procedures and build the trust brands with integrity? When I think about the end of this pandemic,

somebody's gonna win, right? Somebody's going to step out of the crowd. Somebody's gonna take this market share. Why not you? Why not me? Why I'm I'm not Joe's Bar in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

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So I'd like people to think about sure the misery we're going through the clock that's taking. But when this is over, it becomes a marketing opportunity unlike we've never seen before. And I don't want to call it a silver lining. But there's an opportunity for the great marketers of the world, the great companies of the world, a great operator of the world to really sees this step up, build consumer trust and define where we're going, as in industry as a nation in the small businesses. That's the part that excites me, guys. That's what keeps me going during. This is looking forward

15:39

to that. John, I love your growth mindset. I know for A J. Myself, When we were coming into this place and shelter, we were trying to figure out what things can we work on in the company, that this gives us this opportunity that we hadn't had with everything else that we're doing. So brought some focus in one of my big concerns. And I don't know if you're familiar with the book by Ray Oldenburg's A Great Good Place, which is about the corner bar or the cafe, and every in and civilization in every neighborhood that allowed folks to get together and hash out ideas and build society toe where it is today. Coming out of this, there is certainly going to be a play. Do we get people back to being comfortable to starting those social interactions with the table next to them. That certainly going in time. And I think, envisioning what thes places in the future going to look like. Certainly that's gotta come into play of how that's gonna work out

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as well. It was a philosopher in England in the 17 hundreds of quoting him and bar rescue full times. Forgive me. His name escapes me. He used to call it the coveted third place. Yes, right that you have your home is placed. One. You have your work this place, too, and a great bar is that coveted third place because it's part of your life was part of your routine your habits. The second public building built in America was a bar guys, the first of the church in those bars. They had these little compartments or areas they used to call snugs little half walls between every table. That's so the priest or the governor or whoever could sit next to the bum and it'd be a little table between them, and everybody would go to these public houses that they were called because they weren't public houses and That's where business deals were done in. Marriages were made and and borders were created and Bill of Rights and Constitution Sze were discussed.

There were no City Hall's. There were no corporate meat of meeting rooms. There were no hotel convention centers to go to. So we were the center of the community. And I'm with you, Johnny, when you think that that is lost, going forward to some degree, you know, that's a sociological impact that's really, really powerful. And losing things like that is meaningful if I can. There's a movie that's one of my favorite movies called The Ghosts of Flatbush. And it's a documentary film about when the Brooklyn Dodgers left Brooklyn and a sociological impact upon Natsu in Major League Baseball is talking about playing the season in Arizona. Great. We get to watch baseball on TV,

but what happens to the Bronx in New York? What happens to downtown ST Louis from Busch Stadium visit open again? What happens to downtown San Francisco in the ballpark? There is a sociological impact to this, and I think guys, we people like us in the media can't let that happen. We have to figure out how to still keep everybody communicating and group think it's not an enemy. Sometimes it's a friend and we have to get together and and still exchange. I'm with you, Johnny. That's one of the scariest things of me. Not only is loss of business but impact upon our society, and it could be significant.

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Yeah, that isolation and anxiety leads so many mental health issues, and we're already just starting to feel it. And to exactly that point, this is going to end and there is going to be a new normal. And if we're not thinking about what that new normal is, if we're thinking that we're just gonna revert back to the old, the restaurants are gonna reopen. The bars are gonna be packed again. We've lost sight of where we are in this situation, where the things that jumps out at me about bar rescue, especially, is operationally how many of these business owners are struggling? And now you're seeing operations being challenged because they can't move and evolve quickly enough. Some are doing curbside well, a lot of them are failing. Some are just giving up. What is your message to those business owners? Because It's not just restaurants who are feeling this challenge and who know that operationally, they haven't been strong. How can we muster through this?

19:43

Menus have to change the days of 20 page menus campy the samples. I can't waste food anymore, so I have to put the eight or 10 menu items that I know I'm going to sell that moved through. That'll reduce what I buy and inventory reduced. What I'm carrying an inventory that'll help my numbers a little bit. If my revenues go down 30 40%. Cassidy. I want to contract my inventory a little bit of my labor a little bit. It's well, so if we get these inventory credits, we work on making menu smaller, more condensed. We work on seating capacity, I believe guys. A few months later, I could drop in one more table. A couple months later,

maybe one or two more tables we can start to move the stools together. His antibody programs come into play where vaccine programs come into play. So there is not a yes and a no. I think we ease out of this sort of a table at a time, if you will, and that at some point I'm not sure we ever get back to the normal a packing people win again. I think that we will get back to 80% of normal, keeping more manageable distances

20:47

between us for these societies, for these towns, even in Hollywood, here getting the economy started and getting these restaurants and getting these people working together a CZ much more important than making sure the traffic can flow properly. So by closing down some of these streets and putting some tables outside, we can get we could get some space. We can get ipads on each of the tables. You can order your food in the back, and we can get the food runners, and you could pay at the register slowly. We can at least get some of that moving. Hollywood Boulevard doesn't need traffic. In fact, I'd love to see it just shut down restaurants and tables outside, and people be getting too fill the streets again here in the beginning of summer.

21:37

You know, I think that's an amazing thought, John and I'm with you 100%. We were talking about that with regard to Times Square in New York, some of the out sighting areas that they've done in Manhattan. Guy Simon, Old Hollywood boy With that, for many years I ran Barney's Beanery. I read the truth. Is that so? In the early eighties, I was in a band called The West Time. Would rude boys? I mean, look at Santa Monica Boulevard. We get the areas of Santa Monica Boulevard. Bystander sent A.

They're not can completely be closed off all cafes, all restaurants. There's a blocker to a sunset that could be closed off. Hollywood Boulevard is a natural, obviously, to create a pedestrian mall around that which could drive tourism back again also. And the wonderful thing is, today's POS systems have remote tablets, so I don't have to run back and forth to order. My server could stay outside taking cherry tables. Food runners run the food back and forth. This should be done really smart, But I think those are the moves. Guys, I think that's the way that this has to go is if we can add 30% capacity on the street to make up for what we lost inside. Johnny,

that's a home run, man. You know, we're attending a beautiful time of year in Hollywood, for example, Sitting outside is wonderful now. Yeah. You know, I hope that the city gets on board with programs like that. I think I don't make a big difference. And everybody will drive up and down. Franklin. That right?

22:54

Yeah, that's the plan. Well, interesting to go along with that. They just released the plan a few months ago about how they wanted to reduce the traffic on a Hollywood and bring all these tables out and make it more pedestrian friendly. So I mean, if this just nudges that whole idea along a little a little faster,

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I think it does. My worry is what happens to the restaurants that are not on those streets. Then obviously it's gonna slant that way. So the other guys got hurt. There's no scenario that helps everyone guys, but I think that's a great scenario. To protect at least areas that have dense concentration of restaurants and bars, we could isolate those areas in these key cities, create these two black malls, if you will, without binding, and if they look it clusters and grant that two clusters around the city. I think a program like that makes a lot of sense.

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I think for a lot of us who aren't restaurant or bar owners, we have friends, family suffering because of this loss of jobs. And for me personally, I've been actually picking up my groceries from restaurants because they still have supply chain. There's not massive lines like we're seeing all these grocery stores and a lot of times the ingredients that restaurants are getting our higher quality than I could even get if I were to go to Trader Joe's. What are some other things that we could do to support this vibrant community of people who are struggling For those of us who aren't bar restaurant owners ourselves?

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I think that's a great idea. I think that deconstructed meals provided by chefs locally of a great opportunity Tiffany dear, he's doing that down and down is very, very successfully, so they're dissecting the meal in cities where you can sell cocktails now. I mean, we've put together cocktail programs with smaller with the camper. It's a drink and 1/2 with snap plastic top and you get two glasses of ice. So when you get to the canton, you shake it and you pour it into your glass with ice and a cocktail still has integrity. It's not water down and everything. So we got to think about packaging. We've got to think about deconstructive meals. We got to think about a burger and a beer package we wantto create is much selling as we can. Look, guys, there's only three things in the restaurant business.

There's new customer programs, this frequency programs and they're spending programs. That's all we got. So whether I'm doing curbside delivery, whether I'm doing to every, I gotta get new customers interested in what I'm doing, I've got to get my existing at frequent customers participating with me more often, whether it's deconstructed meal's cooking home meals, fully prepared meals, free desserts with meals, free beverages with me. Got to keep them frequently engaged with me, where my gran's gonna disappear from their mind set and then I'm screwed. And then the last element is I gotta build spend. So if you call me and if I'm getting an order, what can I add to that order?

Point cheesecakes. Only $2. It's no reform in a great, by the way for the pandemic were running an extra king size. Ah, shrimp cocktail. Two extra pieces, only $3. Warrior Best value. We gotta work a building. That sale. We gotta work it. Creating frequency. Every delivery that goes out and they're not doing this should have a coupon for the next delivery staple to the bag. Every single one. But we're not doing that.

Said this sale needs to drive the next sale. That sale needs to increase our spend. We're not doing those things that I've wanted. Restaurant delivery. No one has come with a coupon. The next deal. Free dessert. Next time. Free this. So we gotta work This better is an industry. Right now we're fighting on, Had a delivery. It's let's work on merchandising through our deliveries and marketing. That's the next step, guys. And nobody is doing that. I haven't seen that from any one of you.

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I've seen the So with the local restaurant that I've been ordering from. They've been giving me discounts on future orders for the gate. They've been sending me messages now because I had to place it over email saying, Hey, these are the new ingredients we have. You have fresh brand, Xeno. We didn't have that last week. We have red snapper. We didn't have that last week, and they've been letting me know as the stock is limited and its dwindling So I'd have an urgency now to go back to the restaurant to get my groceries more frequently. You know, I was trying to avoid the grocery store. I typically before the pandemic would go once a week. But I've gone back to this restaurant multiple times to get smaller orders because they're telling me, Hey, this is fresh from the farmer.

This is ready to go. I've seen produce boxes from some other restaurants here in L. A that have been snapped up limited edition straight from their farmers, and I have seen an uptick in merchandise. So hats, insurance that I never saw these restaurants touting the logo, talking a little bit about how much the restaurant means to you, right? We all have, as we're saying, that third place that's now disappeared and the other thing that I haven't seen, that I I think would be pretty fascinating, is we're all sitting at home. We miss that bar environment. Why do bars not set up zooms where there's a camera in the bar. You see the bar?

Maybe the owners Only there drinking with you. But all the regulars can get in, and we can still have a conversation like we're having here. We try to do this in studio in L. A. This is what we have right now, and I feel like thinking outside of the box and looking for opportunities to engage your customers, right? All those people with P. O. S is who are collecting email addresses and phone numbers. Now is the time to talk to those customers who are so meaningful for you before the pandemic and let them know. Hey, there's still an opportunity to

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support us. Yeah, I completely agree. And that sort of that social media strategy and when I was talking about operate, communicate, motivate those are the three things that we need to focus on doing differently. Now, I applaud that restaurant I tell you about the freshman Zini. They're driving frequency, right? Brandy might be more expensive than one of the other menu items, so they're also driving you to buy a more expensive menu item at the same time. Hopefully, they bought it at the right price, so it's a high profit item for them. The greatest restaurants of all steer you to order what they want. You know,

water. They don't let you what, what you want, right, because they steer you. They box if they shadow it. But they steer you to buy what they're really good at and what's really profitable for them. So I applaud that restaurant, and those are all the things that they should be doing. We have fresh Disney a fresh now. Give me a reason to call you today and I will. So you know, that's what more people need to be doing. Unfortunately, age. I think that's that's the rarity,

not the commonality today. And I applaud that restaurant. They're doing a great job, many or not. Then you're just saying our limited menu is available online and they're not focused on the next purchase or what's fresh or steering you device something that would excite you today.

29:27

One of the reasons that I love the show so much is because you see the change. You see the owners change, you see management change. You see the employees take on these new roles and new positions and really thrive. And I think that's really the power of the show. And now entering the seven season and you are a change maker and right now is that time for change. And a lot of us in uncertainty were shutting down. We're letting fear get the best of us and going through your book and looking at all of these excuses, these air even more relevant now than ever before and the two that really jump out at me or the fear of failure. So for a lot of business owners, right now, they're they're frozen and they're unwilling to even try some of these things because, oh, well, what if no one answers my call? What if no one orders the brands you know? Then I'm stuck,

and then the other one is scarcity. And right now we're all feeling that scarcity because everyone's spending has declined. Everyone is feeling there's a lack of opportunity. So let's unpack both of those. I think those air so relevant. The first is that fear of failure. What can we say to those of us who are restaurant and bar owners, or even sitting here saying you know what I have more time than ever. But I need to do something.

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You know, a failure in the book is the number one excuse and I dealt with and you're talking about Don't be asked herself. Cut the excuses that are holding you back most of the time. Were scared about something that millions of people have already done A j you know, the other than standing on the edge of a cliff. Of course, you should be scared of that. But But look at the recession that we went through, right? Look at World War Two that we went through. Look at history. My great grand parents got rich during the Depression. Everybody else was going broke. They got rich during the Depression. When it ended, there were millionaires. There is a 1,000,000 stories of people who got rich during a recession.

People who got rich during difficult times. This is an opportunity to define ourselves. This is not a point of fear. This is a point of believing in yourself. It's stepping out of it. Somebody is going to get rich through this. Some restaurants are going to survive. Some restaurants are gonna grow. Some restaurants are gonna build a level of trust in a community that's gonna take about 345 10 units in three years. Why not you? You know, I think that that comment of relativity and understanding there is somebody in your town is gonna be hugely successful at this. If they can be, then you claiming fear is your reason not to be is B s. It's just not true. The other one is scarcity,

as you said, A J, which is obviously another big one. But there's 1/3 1 which is really prevalent right now, which is circumstance and circumstances saying, Boy, you know, there's no economy now I can't do anything, you know? There's nobody going out. I can't do anything. The circumstances were so bad, I can't succeed well again. I'm gonna refer to moments in history when people got incredibly with you, no scarcity and in effect, Steven Jobs.

Circumstance when he was going up against IBM, didn't stop Stephen Johns. So he didn't let the circumstance of the marketplace stop him. He didn't let the scarcity of money stop him needed. And Henry Ford Neither did Thomas Edison. And I'm picking names that we all know of course, Neither did you. Yo Blow, who owns the drugstore on the corner who's been in business to 75 years and made it through World War Two, made it through the recess. It made it through this. So guys, this stories of success in circumstance, scarcity and fear all around us find them and used them is just a source of motivation and inspiration. Don't talk to the guy who's frozen, is scared,

is not going anywhere. Look at the people who are moving forward. Those are the ones we need to attach ourselves with. Those are the ones we need to emulate. That's the energy we need to surround ourselves with right now. Don't you guys agree?

33:13

I had 100% right now. I think that failure it's all around us. We should not be afraid of it. Everywhere you look, there is failure, so there's no spotlight on your failure versus the government's failure. The restaurant's failure, the drugstores failure. Everyone is failing right now. The only ones who are failing Maura, the ones who aren't even trying in the first place that are just sitting on their laurels and throwing their hands up and saying I can't do it. I can't try

33:40

I sometimes taking the baseball player in the world. Siris suits. This is his fourth at bat in this game and he struck out three times and it's a tie game. And at the end of this pitch, either he's gonna be a bum or he's going to be a hero. And right now that's the moment we are at. We're either going to be bums and embrace all these excuses and blame the world for our failure and blame everybody else for our situation. Or we're going to swing and hit that freaking ball and this is our defining moment. And the fact that we struck out three times shouldn't stop us from swinging on that fourth pitch. Justin's much so. I hate to use silly analogies like that, but it's a solid analogy and we should remember that the greatest baseball players of all time stroke struck out thousands of times. Every one of them struck out thousands of times, but it never stopped them from believing that they're going to hit it next time and that's where we have to think. Right now we can make this we need to support each other a little more. I think our communities need to step up just to support small business. But the community's air ready to step up too small to support small business.

We need to give them the reason. So, again, guys, I'm back to what I said earlier. In essence, this is an opportunity for those that seems it. It's a defining moment. What? No, I want my kids to think of me five years from now. What do I want my wife to think of me five years from now? What do I want? You know my career to be five years from now. If we think about those things, there's no choice.

Let's go to work on Let's win. Let's figure out how we make this right. Let's find that secret source together. The figure this out, those that seek will find,

35:22

I think something else to keep in mind. And I know for myself part of my personnel May, when you were mentioning about the troop adore in Barney's Beanery. For me, it's the same thing I love going to see shows going to the Viper Room, going to the whiskey. If I'm not there to see some friends play. I'm the one who's people are going to see perform. And I missed those nights more than anything in this last month. And I know the minute that I have those opportunities again. I'm certainly going to revel in them because I've I've missed him so much. Everyone's gonna be yearning for those moments. So figuring out ways to quench people's thirst for that now through social media but being ready to give people that entertainment When the the opportunity comes in a way that allows people to feel safe, they're gonna flock to that.

36:14

I completely agree, cause we miss it. And if we think about look, it's hard for me guys, I'm sure the weekends of the hardest from May cause the least during the week. I get to talk to guys like you and I get to work in a little bit. But Saturday and Sunday are freaking brutal. Right sitting here. Well, I'm trying to keep myself busy, and and I'm sure you guys are going through the same thing. I can't wait to be in a room. It people get I can't wait to go back to work again. Sure, I'm gonna stand a few feet away from you, Johnny. But I still can't wait to look in your eyes,

buddy. And and you know, that's the reality of it. And in the end of the day, I think that human instinct, that human desire of socialization is what's gonna pull this kind of me back together again because we want to be together again and the places where we're most together businesses.

36:58

There was a tweet that my buddy put out that I just thought hit so hard, which was he's. I missed the people with the gym every morning that I don't don't even talk to you. And it's because of that familiarity of knowing that when they're there, that everything's okay. It's a normal day when they're not there. That's when you triggers something like, Is something going on? Where is that person? And for anyone who has their their routines in their days, said we all missed the little things that allow us to know that that we were safe, that it was an average A. It is those small things that kept us together to kept us smiling.

37:36

Yeah, and when I think about the bar business guys, people always said, and then it Barbas is now shoot almost 40 years. And I always say to people I'm in this business because I'm in the business of making people smile. That's what I do for a living. If I do my job right, people's feet tap, their head moves, they smile, they talk, they interact with people. I'm in the business of making people happy, and I think that as a restaurant and bar industry is the hospitality industry. We need to embrace what our social responsibility is to our country and our communities, and it is to prevent to provide that third place guys back full circle. We have a responsibility is bar operators,

restaurants and meeting places to get us all back together again in a responsible way. But it is up to the bars. Restaurants and those businesses that are LBC East location based Entertainment toe put together two programs to post back together again. Because Johnny, I want to see over beer buddy, why you sitting across the table from me? And that's what I want A. J. And so do you. So I think our industry has a responsibility not just a business motive to get us back together again in a safe way.

38:46

And I think we're all ready for that moment. You know? Want to do our part to get there. And as we're in this situation right now and we're now looking to technology to communicate more, we're really feeling that that hole in our lives, where's before exactly that we would look forward to the weekend because we could get out there and socialize. We could get out there to that third place to that place of familiarity, and that's all gone right now. Everything is on pause.

39:16

Yeah, well, maybe we should do a happy hour together online. Guys, I'm in poor friends. Resource is together. Maybe we should do something like that online, and that's from a few 100 people together and have some fun. I'm game. You guys are great. I don't have to do it with you. But if that's something you guys want to do, what's we're headed

39:32

together. Let's do it. I would love that. I know that all of our fans listening they are right there with us and missing it as well. I mean, we've had to shut down our social skills, training in person, and we frequent bars and restaurants. Why? Because their social places for us to work on these skills, and we're all missing that opportunity. And I think for many of us, you know, we've stayed in touch with our friends. But even those strangers sitting next to us at the bar right, it has that common community feeling that's just lacking in all of our lives right now.

40:3

I think that's the key word, community sense of community, unfortunately, since the community today, um, or online based. But we can still get that sense of community when we're together. Groups like that and I think that we all have to work on that. I'm working on a happy hour with my wife that we're going to do it in about a week or so. We're planning it out, and we're trying to do what we can from this end. We need to be social, so let's be digitally social for a while, and then we'll be physically social as soon as we can.

40:29

Yeah, we had enough. Yes, absolutely. We certainly been telling our listeners that this is the time where you're able to get access to a lot of people that have been before that you might not been able to. Everyone wants to connect. Everyone has extra time and with that just takes you to be able to reach out. And it's no different than chatting up the person next to you sitting on that barstool.

40:55

I've been causing myself to call five friends a day, and I'm trying to make myself call five different friends every day. So I'm going back to high school years and I'm going back. And I spoke to a friend who I grew I've known since of six years old. We grew up together, and there was a hole in each other's bushes when we were kids to run through. So So it's a wonderful opportunity. You're right, Johnny to reconnect with friends and people. So in a way, this re connection that we're doing through phone and video conference with all of friends who made we haven't talked with so much in the past, there's a heartwarming element to that also. I've had some wonderful conversations with great friends that maybe I wouldn't have had if we weren't in this situation, so maybe that's a little bit of the silver lining Johnny's. We're getting to talk to people. We don't get to speak too often and maybe we haven't spoken to in a long time.

41:45

And I think we're being more vulnerable than ever, right? I think it before this speaking about our fears, our uncertainty. We probably would dodge with some of the people that we're not as close with. And I feel like now everyone is opening up and sharing. And I think a lot of us are in this situation working from home, struggling with motivation, and I've seen you break down operations in the bar. But I've also seen you motivate these staff members who other managers who the owner couldn't motivate couldn't unlock that. What is your advice for those of us who are just feeling unmotivated right now

42:21

in bar rescue? Very often I go back to personal accountability and you'll hear me say to that crazy employees, just the person you want to be, you know, just what your mother raised. I mean, I want I gotta change what people do, and if I tell them, don't do this, do that. Don't do that to these. They go back to what they used to do. So the only way I can change what they do is by changing what they think. That's why bar arrest. You get so heavy, guys, cause I'm challenging not what you doing challenging away your freakin think and I'm telling you and I'm not saying it in these words.

But in essence, I'm telling you the way you think is really screwed up, man. And when I challenged them, whether I appeal to that cried showing the picture of their Children appealed to their fear. What's gonna happen when you lose your house? What's gonna happen when you lose your car? What's gonna happen when your wife lead you? Whether I appeal to their financial stresses, I have to somehow cause them in a second to say, Oh, maybe he's right. And in that moment that brain opens up and I could walk in. That's why it's so intense. That's why I look them in the face and say, Why are you fairly What if they don't say I'm failing because of me?

I go crazy and I'll tell you a funny story of how don't B s yourself started. I was in about 120th episode of Bar Restaurant. I was in Detroit, Michigan, doing a farmer from Michigan and I was doing a bar that was near the Ford Proving Grounds. Yeah, and the owner of that bar, I looked at her and I said, Why? You're failing And she said to me, A J love that she said to me, John, I'm failing because of the euro in Greece. Thing is a bar in Detroit, Michigan. She had a few Greek customers,

So I looked. And when she said that to me at that moment, I realized you guys in 100 and 24 rescues anytime I've ever asked anybody, Why are you failing? Not once that somebody say John and failing because of me, not one freaking time. Every time it's the market, it's the community. Its construction on the street is the governor. It's Congress. It's the euro. In Greece, I mean every excuse in the world. And one day I realized guys that the common denominator of failure is an excuse and think about what it excuses and excuses, a reconciliation of a screw up within your own mind, either.

I did something I shouldn't have. Didn't do something I should have. We're screwed up. So now they come up with an excuse. Oh, it's because of this. Now I can live with myself. But it's complete deflection and its rise sense and we b s ourselves all the time by accepting news excuses. Oh, I can't do this. I'm not gonna I'm not a delivery business. I can't I don't know how to deliver food. Who else's that's doing? So we come up with these excuses. So I realized if excuse is, in essence,

the reconciliation of a mistake, then we got to stop the excuses. Excuses paralyze us A. J because of the scarcity you were talking about. Before I freeze or fear, I freeze. And now we're paralyzed. So excuses in my mind, of the common denominator of failure. And if I can get you to not give an excuse a J than tomorrow morning when you look in the mirror, you say I'm not failing because of the euro on greasy looking. When you say I'm failing because of me and you won't like it when you hold yourself accountable, you don't freakin like it. And then I could cause you to change. That's bar rescue. In a nutshell,

guys is forcing that individual accountability upon them, making themselves understand that either jerk there an ass in a way, they acted for their irresponsible to their families, of the wedding themselves down there rooting the family legacy. I mean, this moment of realization of them say Okay, maybe I'm wrong is when I walk in, beat the hell out of them guys, knock him down and then start to rebuild them in a way that they buy into. And that's my process in a nut show, and it all came down to that woman saves Euro. Greece changed everything from May, realizing that any time somebody wakes up in the morning and blames their failure and somebody else, they have no reason to change.

46:31

You know, it's it's interesting, certainly hit it for us and doing the work that we do know it's observation. Aly. We see it, the more intelligent the person is, the more complex. The set of excuses go, and it takes a little bit of time to entangle him. But one of the things that I noticed that was ah, Rick re occurring theme and bar rescue. As a lot of times the places were set up not for the customers entertainment, but for the owner or the manager's pleasure. And so, But, of course, they didn't rationalize it that way.

They didn't realize it was set up, is a frat house for them and their friends, the party, or didn't realize it was set up for certain they could meet girls. But they rationalize it. Of all things is, I don't understand why people are not in here. It's like, Wow, because it's not set up for them. It's set up for you,

47:24

you know, it's funny. Their ego is so great that subliminally they assume that what they like is so wonderful that everybody else is gonna like it, too. And you know, I always say this often, guys that sometimes the guy with the biggest ego has the finished while that you ever noticed. It's really a true fact that ego gets in the way so often. You know, we don't build businesses for ourselves, guys, we build businesses for consumers. We build businesses for them and you can't build something for everybody. You gotta build everything for someone She got to know who that customer is.

47:59

The other thing that just jumps out at both John and I is your emotional intelligence and ability to read people. And obviously working in this industry for as long as you have has to be a part of it. But is there someone that you sort of modeled or learned that from the very beginning, who really showed you how to read people and get into their core motivations?

48:18

I do have this sense of reading people. I d'oh and I know how to push them to the women. I know when the women is, for example, in Jack's Firehouse, which is one of the most intense episodes that ever did. There was a moment where Jimmy was about to beat the hell out of me, and I was firing him from his own bar. His pupils were starting to get bigger and people before they get violent to get to that emotion, their pupils will get bigger. That's why I get so close to their faces when I do. This is I'm looking at their pupils and looking at their muscles, their face expressions, so I know when to pull back, went to go and went to push them. I have to push them to the line. I'm not going to be successful.

Ah, lot of people were scared to push people to the line like that. I get it. My new book, which I'm working on now is, is called The Power of Conflict and the fact that conflict isn't bad. Guys, conflict is good. I mean, I'm not talking about weapons and wars and talking about that. But guys, if we choose not to have conflict with the people around us, we throw our morals away. We throw our values away. We don't argue for the things. We believe that the things that are important for us all because we're scared to engage in conflict conflict is a wonderful thing.

Conflicts from conflict comes new. Ideas comes concensus. Conflict moves us. Forward is a society. So I wanted to write my new book, and it's not out for months. So I'm not plugging anything. Guys, I'm just talking about. If those offered who that we as a society need to learn how to engage in conflict respectfully, I need to be able to look at you a J and say, you know I disagree with your body. I still love you. But I disagree with you completely. And I believe that I have to show my values just like you need to show yours. And society today has become so divisive that either we conflict disrespectfully,

right? So a J I just call you a jerk. Then you're not gonna listen to anything else that I say. After that, it doesn't mean anything anymore. Records it became personal, not about the transit or were scared to engage ago. That's so divisive. We don't want to engage in conference today. Both of those things. They're killing our society. So I really think that we need to learn howto respect, conflict, respect, the fact that conflict is good if we respect each other and the fact that we can have differing opinions in different values and different even moral supplies. So,

you know, I think that it's a very, very powerful thing and bar rescues what taught me that A J is understanding that I can't help these people unless I engage in conflict. I can't help these people unless I get round. I have to be forcible in the way that I go about it with them. I'm not the first person to tell him their business sucks. I'm not the first person to tell him they lost money. Whether it's dirty, Johnny read any of these kinds of things. They got to hear me. So I got louder. I get more intense, but make no mistake, guys. Many of the times that you see me angry on bar rescue a much more deliberate than I am angry. I'm creating an intensity to take advantage of the situation and change him. I haven't lost my cool guys. You very rarely seen be, actually lose my cool. Everything I do is really very

51:28

deliberate. Yeah, I really noticed that. And you never take it personally, which is, I think so key about this. You understand that they're going to get personal on you because they feel cornered. And a lot of times this is the first time they've actually truly experienced conflict. In that way, they have staff who cater to them. They have a few customers who put up with them. But a lot of them haven't really engaged in that way. And you always keep it respectful and you are always in control of your own emotions in those states where the owner is typically out of control of their emotions. And what you then see is they'll come back after the emotions die and they realize I was wrong. I shouldn't have said that I should have done that. I wasn't actually listening to you.

52:11

And I get my hugging the end, don't I? Yeah, and that's really it's interesting about that. A. J is when I get that hug, our microphones are on our chests under our shirts. So when we hug, you can hear what we say to each other. It's over it, and it's out of the show. The things that they say to me in my ears and nose hugs are really powerful. You know, John, you're the father I never had have been told a couple of different fonts. Thank you for beating me up. I deserved it,

man. You taught me so much, John, I respect myself again, John. Thank you mean those are the kind of things they say to me in those hugs. And it really inspires me to fight harder next time. Data truth.

52:48

We'll look at everything that you have. You give them. You give them their business back. You give them a sense of self respect back because when their business dies, you take that personally, and that hurts your self esteem. You start to see yourself as dying or a loser as your businesses, and to be able to crack that, give them their business back. You give him the respect for their business and themselves back. So it's a it's a It's a hard fought gift that that means the world and the lessons there are Nicholas there, they their life

53:23

changing. But make no mistake. Guys, when I get there, means a lot to me. I take this responsibly, really seriously. These people's lives are on the line. Their houses are on the line that have ours around. Certainly they have Children at home. They have wives who are challenging on them. I will never sell out them for TV, never in any way possible. It always is about them, and I say it even to two people. When I'm shooting by rescue, I'll come.

I don't give a damn about those chambers. They mean nothing to me. This is about us. Let's go to work in West, and I really believe

53:55

that. And I have to say, you know, I'm not a huge fan of reality, but that genuineness comes through on your show more than any other reality show that I've seen, I feel especially that you take pride in the change in each and every one of those bars that you've worked on. Is there a story that you're really just the most proud of in terms of results or the project itself? There's

54:20

a few that mean a lot to make us. I've really changed families and change the future. Spirits on bourbon is a huge success. They know on real estate a bunch of bars of a warehouse in Baton Rouge. For the mugs, they sell 18,000 of them a month. Characters is a really proud when it was a family one. But I got to tell you a great story of Ah, of a bar. I forget the name of the bar It was in San Diego County was owned by a couple from the Dominican Republic fetus and one Paul J. P. So J. P. Was cheating on his life. He wasn't coming home at night, so I get to the bar and they say, You know,

the wife is speaking of the voice again. He's cheating. It doesn't come home. Every night he hangs out with young girls were said, Let me do recon with wife, and this is absolutely true guys. So I'm in my SUV. I got making my little monitor on the dashboard of the SUV. Managing on the wife gets in. Her name is Edith, and I introduced myself. I eat with my name is John. She has a little gift bag with her, where those little decorative defense. And I said, Oh,

you have a gift bag. What's the occasion? I thought maybe it was for May. She goes. No, it's my 14th wedding anniversary. I said, Oh, what's in the bag? She said. Divorce papers. None of us knew it. Now the monitor turns out, and I'm sitting there with Edith with her little gift bag with divorce papers, and we're watching her husband and a young girl walks up to her husband and says, Are you married?

And he says, There's no ring on this finger. Well, the minute you that seems that, she says, That's it. I look at you this. I said, Well, listen to me. You've been allowing this for 14 years. J p must believe that today is different, that you're not going to tolerate this anymore. And this is a new day. And Edith, I'm here.

I've got your back. This is the chance for you to go do that. She gets out of the SUV, slams the door, runs into the bar, belts him in a mass, rips a shirt open and pours a drink in his face at the end of that episode four days later. And you should watch it if you can. Guys, J P is hysterical crying to me telling me that I'm the father He never had thanking me so much for straightening out his life. And she tore up the divorce papers. He put his wedding band back on. But here's the real end of the story. Three months later, I got an email from Member having another baby, and they're doing great.

Those of the greatest stories of our rescue to me, right? Really changed the life of somebody just because I beat the hell anything and nobody ever had before. And he was a tough guy, had it not been for the situation and cameras and people. You probably beat the hell out of me for saying the things I did. But those episodes Meena lacked in and there's a number of marriages that we've helped families, that we've helped houses that we've helped. It means a lot to me. Two weeks ago was the V F W Hall. 1st 1 we ever got and the men you peer support for these veterans is so critical with PTSD and everything. So these episodes mean a lot to me. Guys is very personal to me. I really want to come through for these people.

57:21

I think A. J and I both our first drinks were at the V f W underage. Yeah, I know them well. It's really from our dads.

57:31

Well, they're in trouble. Their membership is down from eight million to a 1,000,000 1/2 and we've got to get new new veterans involved in it. So it's been a cause of mine, and we did a special bar rescue. I think it would be on marathon was Sunday about it, But again, guys, it touches me, and it really inspires me to fight harder maybe even scream loud and the next time. But, you know, I'm not focused on screaming. I'm focused on the result. I really

57:53

Yeah. And that certainly shines through. And

57:56

so you know what else is interesting? A. J I'm gonna get to meet other reality stars whenever I need a reality star who doesn't respect his audience. I know his days. A number, you know. And some reality stars will say. I don't know. They don't know yet. Yeah, Bull. I respect my audience completely. I think if I lie about anything, you guys will know it. I have massive respect, so I won't lie. I want to see if I won't stage.

I won't set up. I won't bring in actors. I won't bring in scripts. I won't do that because I respect the audience too much. I respect myself too much. I think it's that respect a J for the audience in a process that has kept it on TV for 10 years. Because anybody who doesn't respect their audience that I know is Jinan, right? No time and none of them are arrogant enough to actually do that.

58:41

And you leave a legacy, people can go right now to those bars you just talked about and they could sit down and have a drink at your design bar and see that owner that they saw on TV Recall That's so cool. And I've been to a few of them. And I think that really speaks to not only your character, but also the character of the people willing to go on the show and go through that process because it takes a lot of guts to admit one that there's a real problem here and to knowing howthe show goes, they're gonna get called out on their excuses and they're B s. No one is going to be able to hide from that. I think the other thing that to me, speaks volumes is your ability to really make calls and staff. You know, with that short of a time frame, your ability to read people and say, you know what? You no longer work here. And what are those signals that you see in such a short time or you just go? You know what? We just got to get this person out of here. They're not supporting the mission at hand

59:40

in college. My minor was cultural anthropology, and I studied the science of a study of primates and social societies and primal instincts in the way we behave. What we do in the second we land in this situation is primary. What we are, what we say is what we want to be. So do you land a J in a place that thinks of other people? First on yourself first? No, what you say. But where did you land? Right in separating that. So I look very much of people's primal. What is their core instinct? Are they there to help themselves, which I could work with, that they want to help themselves and elevate themselves in work that works,

Are they? They're out of a disrespectful motor that they they're at a hater. They they're just to be on TV. So I focus on what is everybody's true incentive. Where is their heart? Why, what is their primal instinct is the primal instinct. To be successful now is the primal instinct. To screw people now is a primal instinct to get what they can out of the situation and built to try. So I focus on that instinct that I have the ability to read that pretty quickly in a few questions. If their instinct of their intentions you're not what I need them to be, then I don't waste my time by them on, and I don't believe that you can change people in that way. I don't believe you can create readership. I don't believe that leadership could be created. I believe leadership is a trait that people have met a talented people create,

and I look at people like the Pied Piper we never hear. It was a great musician, but people found him off. That cliff did make. So think of all the entrepreneurial leaders that have led thousands of people to bankruptcy, whether they're solar companies or whatever the heck they are. So so. Leadership is a very unique skill, and it's the ability to cause people to believe in you and what you doing. I'm lucky. I think I have that skill when you're a leader. Either people step up to that leadership or they don't step up to that leadership, the ones that don't have guns.

61:37

Thank you so much for joining us, John. We really appreciate your stories and we can't wait to come out of isolation and actually have a drink with you on Santa Monica Boulevard.

61:45

I mean, guys, you guys are terrific. This was really wonderful. I want to do it again sometime. You want? Let's think about that. Happy hour. One of these

61:52

days, I'd be a lot of do it. We're gonna hit up your team. We're going to put that together. And, of course, Season seven is kicking off Bar rescue. What are you most excited for with this upcoming season?

62:3

Well, I got Marshawn Lynch coming on in a couple weeks, which was unbelievable. Going into a really bad situation in Oakland, California, which is is your guys to get a ticket? It's one of my favorite episodes ever. I don't know, an episode that that started as badly and ended as well. People that were complete enemies hated, may loved me and I loved them. In the end, it's a really powerful episode of Mr

62:30

Thank You so much, John you to stay safe. I've been a huge fan of the show bar rescue over the last 10 years, and it was so great to finally chat with John and get his insights and not only how to handle this crisis, but also just what the future holds for the bar and restaurant industry. I didn't really know what to expect, however, What you see is what you get. We certainly got it on this show, and I appreciate that. He's so genuine, and it certainly comes across in the show. And listen, that guy has some of the highest emotional intelligence I've ever seen. He certainly knows how to see through people and get down to their core issues to help them change, which is really powerful. And how many episodes have they I think they're on?

There was that seventh season, and that process was fully laid out to us. And yet he still seems tohave the zest now that he's always had for it. And imagine that doing your favorite thing building restaurants week after week on television. And it was so cool to hear a little bit of inside baseball of how the show was put together. So thank you so much, John, for stopping by. Here's our challenge for you this week. Let's follow John's lead. Let's call five people that we have not spoken to in over a year this week. Reach out to old co workers, friends, childhood acquaintances and reconnect. Check in on one another and let us know we're always excited to hear from you. You could send us your thoughts by going to the arctic charm dot com slash questions.

We have our monthly Q and A episode coming up here shortly. You can also email us questions at the art of charm dot com, or find us on social media at the art of charm on Facebook, instagram and Twitter. And if you enjoy this show and you're ready to speed up the process, take things to the next level and capitalize on those opportunities you heard us discuss with John Tafur. Check out our communication accelerator program. Are you gonna look back at this crisis? Thinking of the missed opportunities are gonna look back, thinking about how you grew your skills, your network and took things to the next level, catapulting you towards success. Learn more about that program at the art of charm dot com slash accelerate. We would love to see you on the inside. Also, could you do us the entire Arctic charm team A big favor had on over to iTunes and rate this show.

It would be in the world to us if you enjoyed it. Go ahead and hit. Subscribe. Welcome to the family. The Arctic char podcast is produced by Michael Harold and Eric Montgomery and engineered by Sanjay and Bradley Denham. Cast media Studios. I'm A J and I'm Johnny. Have a great week. Yeah,

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