all right friends in listeners. Today's episode is another special One is with Alex Snodgrass, a k a. The defined dish, perhaps one of the best known dish creators for whole 30 recipes in the world. And she has built quite a following around that simple pursuit. It is, Ah, it's really exciting to chat with her because I've never had a new anyone on the podcast that's quote unquote ing instagram influence our social media influencer, and it's a pretty unique path, with its own set of trials and and challenges. So I'm really excited to get to talk to her today. Alex has built out the define dish over the last few years and has built a social media following a massive social media following that would make any individual or brand jealous, with hundreds of thousands of followers engaging around or simple, incredibly tasty recipes. And when I say tasty, I mean insanely tasty,

you would have no clue that its whole 30 or paleo and it's a, uh, it is. It's a great service you provide for the world. It is really, really delicious stuff, and that's probably that probably has something to do with her success, a simple ingredient to our conversation today that made it really special is just her honesty about being a creator and entrepreneur and founder of a business like this and what it's really like to be a social media store. We talked about everything from the fact that two years in and with a little traction, she was still deciding whether it was worth doing. And and it's easy to get excited about starting something and to still be excited three months in or five months in. But if you really think about two years in with with no traction, no real traction deciding if it was still worth doing I think I speak for a lot of people that are really glad she stuck with it because we all benefit from the work that she's that she is put into creating these amazing recipes. But more than that, it is just another example of ah creator sticking with it for multiple years before seeing, you know,

a residence on the other side of people clamoring and saying that they wanted what they're creating now, about five years, and she's got all of this signal that you could ever ask for saying she is doing what what people value. But those 1st 2 years were really tough. We also talked about this simplification of what she was doing, being absolute key to success and two years in having a very different approach than what she started with recover her anxiety attacks that she has had in building out her business. So what is the importance of investing in mental health and in the midst of naturally being a people pleaser and having a spouse, two daughters, employees and hundreds of thousands of people that would want some of her time? We talked about this simple and powerful use of of a checklist every day. That helps remind her what she needs to do for herself. All of this and more with Alex below the line is brought to you by play cast media. If you want the easiest way to set up a professional premium podcast from your home, check out play cast media dot com and get their premium podcast in a box delivered right to your door. Everything you need for a premium podcast, all of the equipment.

I love this company, and I love this service I spent probably 30 40 hours of researching what equipment to get before finally discovering play, cast and boom, they send. Send everything all in one neat box right to your doorstep for a premium professional podcast in your office or home. And it is never been easier to start a professional podcast than with play cast, so check them out. Play cast media dot com That's play cast media dot com and tell them James send you all right onto my conversation with Alex. This is below the line. Okay, so you're saying, um, your journey towards public speaking has been Tell me a little bit about that

me and Well, I was saying in college I was the girl that was like, shaking and so nervous to speak in public. It's not my thing, but I've gotten used to it. Um, Instagram First ball is totally different when you're talking on stories because if you mess up, you can delete it and start over. But you know, the first couple of times I did events or live news.

It was the same with this podcast. So this is not for listeners. I let anyone just come in and be able to say whatever they want. So that and no in the background that Okay, if I say anything, Aiken, Aiken, just redo the answer. Yeah, Um, so just so you know, you can absolutely is, like, instrument

that live. Yes. Um, but during my first couple live, things like live news and like cooking demos and then doing events was really nerve racking. But then once I did it a couple of times, I realize it's actually really enjoyable when you talk about something that you're passionate about and now public speaking, I guess, and doing events is just part of it. And it's been such a weird, weird realm for me, and I'm shocked that I enjoy it, and then I'm doing

it. You do enjoy it now.

Yeah, I do. I mean, hundreds of people like in the audience, and I definitely I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous every time. I just did one with the fellow blogger and she was so not nervous. That's just not her style. She justice, But she is. But I was definitely like, Oh, I feel a lot of butterflies I might throw up once I got out there. It was doing fine, But I definitely get my own head about that kind of stuff and get nervous before. Like, what if I say something stupid? There's all these people out there that you know,

see me every day on Instagram when they have expectations and you definitely get your own head like I am. I gonna live up to those expectations. Are they going to be happy with the person that they meet in person? But you could only be what you are, and that's that

well, and I think it's It's also, um, you know, they're seeing you every day, but they probably aren't taking it. Internalizing it, you know, to the to the degree that I know for myself putting something out there, you know, the I. Luckily, in technology, you get to see that the average balance rate of a visitor to a a site or a new product was like 30 seconds. Yeah, so people just their Yonville units, a visitor that say they're checking out your work and that's that's cool,

but it's in my head. I'm like they're going to spend 30 minutes inspecting every pixel, every design. Yeah, and and it sometimes is. Ah, yes. So off the mark. But the So tell me about what is, um when did you start doing live events and start to do more of the public speaking? And in the defined dish of

eso Ernie, I would say that I have had my blood for least two and half three years before I did my first, like meet up was that snap kitchen in Dallas. And I was like, What if nobody shows up because they wanted to do this like around? Ah, lot of my content is a round hole 30 And it was during January whole 30. So they have a bunch of whole 30 meals, and so I was kind of there to show them which one thrown 30. And at the time, I'd say I probably had, like, 40 to $50,000 I didn't know, You know, two people want to actually come and interact in the inverse it in. So many people showed up, but I was like,

Oh, my gosh, this is really all these humans that are following were really And it was one of those things that afterwards um, it was so rewarding because being this conquered content creator on instagram and all my blogged, I'm always behind a computer and behind a phone interacting with these people. It's so rewarding to meet them in person and hear their stories and hear how my recipes have affected them in, improved their lifestyle and make them better cooks and made them were comfortable in the kitchen. So to interact with them face to face was like, you know, life changing. You know, after I came home on such a high heels like this, I want to keep doing this and I want to go you an order like this is awesome. So I really shifted into high gear after that event. And now Evans, of course,

have grown. And, um, it's been a whirlwind. That's

so cool. And what is, um, what would you say was the event that ah, that is rack your nerves

the most? Um, well, so I'd say that the last time I went to Houston, I had an event with the group. It's called Helen Illness and they sell tickets. There was, like 100 and 20 tickets, that's that. And they sold out really quickly. And that was more of like I said on the panel with one of the hell illness people when we talk about something, Um and it was more constructed and like formal. And so since the tickets sold out in Houston's one my biggest cities and largest audiences, I wanted to be able to open up another event with people that didn't get tickets and do a meet up, which I've done in the past and usually like 60 to 80 people will show up. And so this one, that kind of this was almost like, I need to kind of shift gears and be a little bit more organized

in how I put these humping When

when was this? This was a couple. But this is probably a month and 1/2 ago. So I put up with my assistant. We create like an event event, Brighton. We were just like, whoever wants to come, come But our recipe. So we know how many of your coming and I checked it helped about. Now we're gonna have in 250 people in our Steve. You know what we were I was like, Oh, crap. So I put a stop to it, so nobody more So nobody else. That was like,

I can't always be. You said anybody can come on like Well, that was before I realized how many people were coming and this was just a meet up and usually at my meet ups, I would just do it at a coffee shop. The coffee shop would give us, like some free juice and coffee, and it was super casual and this was different. And I was like, I think I've been off with making two, and I I just had to kind of stand in front of, like, a step and repeat which, if you don't know, that is like, you get a sign like a branded sign and just meet everybody one by one, which was awesome.

But it was it what I have done in the past, which was the smaller events are so great, cause I can actually really connect with all these people, and everyone can get to know each other rather than forming a giant line and just meeting me one by one. So I think that was ah ha moment from you to kind of shift gears of these events and Maybe when I go to Houston, do three smaller events with 100 people rather than one big one. So

Well, so they I I'd love to get ask you more. About what? What was that emotional arc like? Because I know putting on event is so stressful. Yeah, and

it could be forfeit and

get at it under your wing. And it is like a soon as you do one for 30 year. Like, let me do one for 50 60 But ah, super Super stressful because you're it's hosting. You know, you don't want anything to go wrong when you're hosting six people for dinner. Much less 200 people, 250 people for an event that the other coming for use. Everything can reflect on you. What? What do you mind describing for listeners? What or that emotional arc is was actually like in that experience, Houston.

Like what was? I was very nervous, Very scared. Luckily, I had partnered with, um, a restaurant, so they kind of helped bring the food and it was at the restaurant so people could go get drinks in the bar, then wait line to meet me. And so I will say it was very overwhelming because I it was like one of those moments where it was like I looked like a celebrity, and that's weird for me because that's not what I am in my head. I'm I'm more of like a recipe creator and a content creator. So having people lined up to meet me was very draining, but also rewarding because each person had something so nice to say, and I loved meeting everybody in person, but it was like afterwards I was like a zombie because you're just smiling and meeting. So I kind of felt like I don't know,

like a puppet. I don't know. It was very weird and I just realized that kind of event isn't the style that I necessarily want to do any more. I want to make sure that people come and we talk about something that's valuable and constructive rather than here. Let me take a picture with you. You know, maybe we can take pictures afterwards. That's great, but I didn't feel like I offered them something. I feel like I wasted their time, even though maybe they didn't feel the same way, Um, but it just didn't feel like it was like a super positive, productive thing for everybody in my eyes. It was more of just like here. Let's take it,

insert himself e and move on with the next person. Let's go, keep going. So, um, afterwards, everyone like Clayton was talking to you. I can't hear words. I'm a zombie. I'm emotionally drained. We went back to the way. Wouldn't that dinner had a couple glasses of wine that help it? When we got back to the hotel and I, like, really sunk in? I just started crying,

and it wasn't because I was sad. It was just very emotionally draining. And it was a lot. And I was just like all these people came to beat me, and I feel like I didn't offer them anything that was valuable. Um, and that was kind of the one of the things that's like, I need to rethink how I do these events and have somebody on my team that can really help me put on events that our interactive and that means something to all these people rather than me just feeling like this. Celebrity puppets standing in front of the summer and taking pictures. You know, Toby, because that's not that's not really what

I want to be. Well, I was I was, uh, chatting with someone that that is listen to the podcast for for the last Ah, a few months and and he and he asked. He said, When people open up about emotional time, can you ask them what it was really like? And asked the more instead of because I think it out just ah, the desire for comfort, especially even in this conversation is, is to to say, OK, that was, you know, uncomfortable moment and to move on.

But it's his words were ringing in my ears because I heard it yesterday. Um, so when you're crying in the hotel room like, what was going through? So you had this thought of okay? I didn't give them enough. Yeah, um, of what they came for. Um, is that a feeling you feel frequently of? I'm not doing enough for not giving enough

for I think the thing for me is like this has all happened really quickly. And I think that all those people that showed up the thing that I always remind myself because you can you can overthink thinks. Obviously, we talked about that or like getting in your own head. Um, and office people that came do cut my recipes and they dio they I am making an impact on their lives and they're coming to meet me. But that's weird to me that they're taking time out of their day to just come meet me in person like it's just when I did all this, that wasn't anything that I've ever had planned. So when I got home, it was more like tears of joy and tears of Oh, my gosh, I'm emotionally exhausted of I can't believe all these people came to meet me. I am blown away. And why? What? They come meet me. And you know,

my husband, then Curry to me is like because you're great and you're giving them something that you know they can grasp on to, and they can cook in their kitchen. And maybe some of these people never cooked before and they're cooking. Or maybe they used already healthy, and now they're eating healthy and, you know, so don't feel like they're just like that. They're just coming, And you didn't give them anything cause you have they're coming to meet you because they that you've impact without giving them. Yes, and it's just hard for me to grasp. Grabs that? Yeah. You know that all these people, I mean, they just waited in line to meet me, and that just blows me away,

right? You mentioned you mentioned Clayton, who is, um, who's upset? We're in my wife's art studio right now, and he's upstairs working away. Um, how is he? How I imagine he has been a cofounder and and all of those, yeah, how? How much of roles he played in in building out, you know, to the fat to the place where you're having events for 250 people.

Well, Clayton's listening. I love him very much. Don't be so much along this journey, um, to go back. Kind of like when that defined their started. My sister and I started it together, and we just kind of dabbled with it, and we you know, we we were very consistent, but we were just dabbling in the whole blogging thing. And after about two years of just kind of being inconsistent and starting it, she decided she didn't want to do any more. Just a couple years younger than me. She was getting married and she's like, This is a lot of work and I don't really want to do it

And I tell you what I feel like there's a little bit of a story there. What two years of doing it, Would you say two years in? It was meeting your expectations, not meeting expectations.

I loved it. She I think, Well, the reason why she bowed out because it was originally supposed to be a food and fitness bug. She was going to the fitness as going to the food, and it just really quickly shifted to food. And Madison was trying to produce food Clinton that she wasn't necessarily super passionate about. And so I mean, recipe developing just isn't her thing like she loves like, a five ingredient meal, and she's really good at that kind of stuff. But she just couldn't keep up with what I was trying to put out, and I was probably annoying. Some, like we got to get my recipes out, we gotta do this and she was just like, this is it.

This is going on around That is not really my realm, and I feel like it. It doesn't feel right. So she stopped doing it. At that point, I was like, Waldo, I stop Or do I keep going? This is on Clayton and I sat down cofounder Clayton, and I told him, I said, I really want to do this and I want to be consistent. I, like, want to try to make it my job because at that point we were making zero. Many doing it was just a hobby.

Um and he said, That's great. I think you can 100% that do this But he also saw me putting a lot of time into that whenever I was supposed to. Technically, be a stay at home mom like we didn't have help at the time. He's like, if you're going to do this, that I want you to really do this and go 110% because I don't want you wasting so much time away from the kids whenever, um if you're not gonna take it seriously. And I was like, Okay, well, I'm gonna do this. I mean

it. Did you know right there in that conversation. Okay, that's the switch.

Or I knew I I love doing. It was so much fun creating recipes. And I just love food and making recipes in my own kitchen. So But I've always left sharing my recipes of my friends. It was just that on a larger scale, and at that point, I knew I wanted to make it my career. So I read it. The website rebranded cut, and it was like the perfect storm because instagram stories came about. And

what year was this?

This was what, Three years ago, I think. Do you have three years ago I felt Mark my words on that and so that fine dishes like five and half six years old. So the 1st 22 and 1/2 years were, like, very slow moving slow pace, like, wasn't very consistent. You know, one week I'd put out one recipe the next I put out three. Like it just totally was haphazard. Wasn't very organized.

And when when you when you're going through that, Like, what was the I'm so interested in the creation stories of piecing. So Yeah, the week before you started doing this with your sister were you like over the moon? Like I think this is gonna be really

great. Oh, yeah, We were like, we're gonna be also sisters. Do you belong together if you're doing the fitness young during the food. But the thing about starting a bog and being a creator is finding your voice and like in the media space and you know, every there's so many recipes out there, there's so many recipe developers and, you know, you can go to food network dot com or, you know, bone appetite and find amazing recipes. But, like, what is going to set you apart? What's gonna make you special?

What makes you unique? Finding that boys for me took me a little bit and so that those 1st 2 years of my sister were actually really good for me to, like, find my niche. And I know exactly what kind of Clinton I was going to share, what kind of content people love to see for me. And that's very easy. 30 minute meals that are healthy, that any level of cook and cook. Um, when I really focused on weeknight meals, I really don't do have a lot of breakfast and lunch. It's just like good, healthy quick weeknight dinners that air just like, so flavorful that you don't really feel like you're eating healthy. So that's my knees.

And I found that along the way. And so when I re branded, I just really honed in on that. I'm like, I don't bake. And before I was like, I need to have dessert recipes because I don't have dessert recipes. But then, like, why am I gonna put dessert recipes out? But that's not my thing, and I'm not very good at it, and people are gonna come to me for that. So I'm gonna focus on what I'm good at. But it just took me a while to realize just because I have a block doesn't mean up to put out breakfast, lunch,

dinner, dessert like, if that's just focus on what you're really good. I could I could crank out weeknight meals for the rest of my life. And I know that, like so many people, ask me, How do you come up with all stuff? That's the easy part for me. That's all the others. That's a lot of work and hard to keep up with. But creating that kind of content is just so easy and natural

for me. Like what? What's the other stuff that when someone says something like that in your mind, you like man, you don't know half of him. It's for 90% of what the

other stuff is. I mean, first of all, the more that you grow, the more people the bigger audience that you have, which is the You know, obviously, the more people that followed me, the more people cooking my recipes, and that's the point. And that's literally what gives me so much fire to do what I d'oh. But it's a lot of responding to things, and, you know, Instagram as a constant. My d EMS kind of drained me. I will admit,

like it's the best and worst thing I love connecting with my audience, but it's so overwhelming because at the end of the day, I've got my family and I want to be president, not looking at my phone all day, and so I had to kind of draw a line in the sand. At one point, I used to respond to every GM, and I wish so much that I could be like I'm a blogger. That responds to every GM, but I can't be that or else I'm going Thio be probably very anxious and emotionally probably depressed, cause it's just so training. It's just constant all day, every day. And I just could like a student, you think you're done. There's like,

Not anymore D EMS and you just can't cross it. Yeah, and if someone really needs an answer about a recipe like and they follow me, they know they can come on the block post. I can see it more easily or email me, um, but the D M zehr really draining. It's really hard to keep up with and keep be a very present mom. And at the end of the day, my family is more important than any of this, even though this is a very close second. But, um, so that's really hard keeping up with just the connectivity of social media. Um, you know,

obviously the tech side of the things, keeping the blood going on and running and mapping everything. L working with brands. I finally hired a manager, think braised beef. She helps me a lot with all that stuff. Just because, you know, as a creator, you are really good at creating content, and then the rest. You're like the home l so good at that. And I started higher out people that are good at those things. And it's, I feel like, boosted me so much.

And it's money well spent. Um, at the end of the day, because it's made me I'm a lot more organized insane in this whole journey. Yeah,

definitely. It is a feel like it's just a constant evolution of focusing. Like like focus even more. I could focus even more. Yeah, And it sounds like that's when Did you When did you say to yourself? Okay, I'm doing, you know, these breakfasts, lunches I'm doing, um, you know, baking and pastry. Okay, I'm gonna just focus on a weeknight.

You know, I think that was part of like finding my voice was like before You're like, you see the people like skinny tastes, and she's such a well rounded site, like she does a little bit of everything. And, you know, you see people like that you're like, Oh, I kind of need to copy that model. And then at the end of the day like you can't mimic someone elses model like, if that's not your thing. And so, um, when I've rebranded, I just got to realize, you know,

if I really have a good dessert recipe, that I am very confident and I'll share it. But I'm not going thio slave in the kitchen for two weeks trying to master a brownie. Whenever I'm not, I'm gonna probably cook a box brownie or just go by. That's just not I don't enjoy baking. And I think part of the draw to my site is people know how much I love cooking and sharing these recipes. And if I'm in the kitchen and not enjoying it and sharing content that I don't join Kerry and sharing recipes that I don't enjoy, it's very people see that and I I want through this whole thing. The last thing I would do is ever hate cooking because it's my favorite thing. It makes me so happy, and it it it helps me unwind at the end of the day, and I will always be fun and enjoyable for me

in the kitchen. Has it ever gotten close

toe hating, kicking Well, I've been working on one project behind the scenes that I can't quite announce yet. And it was so much cooking and everyone around me like, Are you okay? And what? I love it. I mean, it's exhausting. Like, don't get me wrong with you today, Vic. Uh, you can go Heat of leftovers. My feet hurt. My body hurts. But I love getting in the kitchen and being creative.

It's so much fun. So I haven't gotten close, but I will say whatever. I was trying thio mimic all these other sites and have all this other content that I'm not necessarily good at. I was kind of like, Oh, I'm not gonna like this anymore. I need to focus on what I enjoyed creating.

Well, um, every episode has a crazy drink in this episode. Ah, we've got happy moose juice still, and I feel like we should mention it and cheers on on this crazy.

So defined disapproved great ingredients

and really taste good too. Yes. So

I mean straightforward pineapple apple, coconut milk, strawberry banana water, blueberry beat living.

Yeah, it's really good. So this is ah, happened. Muses is out of San Francisco, and where we are right now, and we've got Ah, it's small batch, which is always a good choice. We don't want any medium or large batches anywhere near us, and it's Ah, yeah, coconut milk. Smooth. It's got a really cool bottle with some water color, purple and pink. It's a really well designed Ah Brandt, But, um, I've never had it before Coconut milk smoothie. And it is

being good. It's delicious. We get, um, so glad you introduced it to me.

I know that passes the test. I wanted to try happy miss for a while, um, and and finally got a kind of chances. Really Good. Yeah. I think that's going into the It's gonna go into Ah, rotation. Yeah, the rotation, for sure. It is really good. Uh, so the, um, so going from two years in, um,

and in deciding you and Clayton that you're going to do it, um, one of things that that I'm I'm Dino's. Once you made that choice and and also a little bit of even deciding to do it with your sister. Um, to now, how is your mindset changed? You mentioned focus and being like, okay, I just gotta keep it super simple. Um, how about how, If you think through kind of your mindset, then a few years ago, three years ago to now how is your mindset changed? As a creator,

as, ah, as, ah, entrepreneur,

I'd say that the most important thing throughout the process is just shifting gears. Because when you have $20,000 it's totally different ball game that when you have 80 you know, everything is constantly changing like that, the amount of diem's that you're giving and questions And, um, you know, different brand opportunities that just everything is constantly shifting gears. And it's always been, you know, at one point it was like I'm always going to respond everything. I'm gonna always be president. That's what is my thing. And to put that flag in the ground and be like, I will always respond to dance. I see so many bloggers do it when they're getting big and, you know, maybe they don't have family yet,

and they're respond everything. They're like it. I think it's so rude when other bunkers don't respond him like, well, just wait because things change. And if you put that if you put that line in the sand and make such a bold statement about it. And then later you like I'm trying. I'm trying to keep up with what I said before, and now I can't. I think that's a bad place to put yourself in 1/4 you know? And I think it's always being open to change and being ready to shift gears. And at some point I was responding to so many Diem's that Clayton was like, Okay, let's talk about this like, I know that you want to respond to your audience all the time, but the same time like you're on your phone all day,

all night, like we gotta figure this out. And so at that point, that was whenever I realized I can treat this job like a 9 to 5 job like the grunt work obviously can always share on the weekends and kind of get out my stories and bring people into my life in in my kitchen. But the 9 to 5 grind is when we have our nanny. We hired a nanny. Finally, that was full time and so that I can do that. Then front at five o'clock when she leaves, I could be present with my family, and it's like that has kept my sanity, my family. Sandy. I think it's just good for everybody. Obviously, I I would be lying if I said,

You know, I don't still check my Diem's after she leaves, But at least the grunt work is gone. Um, I don't even know if I answered

your question. No, it does. It is, uh, it seems that the workflow has definitely changed of leaning on other people. Yes, immensely. That's a consistent part of the below. The line version of people stories is just how many people come together to support official what looks like a solo effort. No,

it's so it's so important, and I would not be able to do without Clayton without Martha

and only the whole team.

Martha Nannies probably like my number one employees. I would not be able to do without her because Clayton Indispensable Clay, but he's fired. Clay has been so good to be that way, but to go back to your question about Clayton. He is one of those people that is just gonna pawn unapologetically himself and always very straightforward and honest. And I am a people pleaser. So sometimes that messes with my head being on social media and having a presence there and always wanted to make sure everybody's happy. And sometimes people will send me brood comments that will get my head, and he's like, Just ignore it. It's fine, like you've got all these other people sending you nice things and that doesn't matter.

And have you ever been brought to tears by Common

for sure, people are really

what's what's an example

of, well, own Mother's Day? I got a message from a girl because I have two daughters. Um, for those never went to my stories, And Sutton's my oldest, and she's shy and, um, doesn't really like the camera, not her thing. And my second is the exact opposite. She his bold wants to be filmed all the time like she's doing something. But she's just they to be on the sunscreen right now in this life. So she has a lot more face time on my stories, and Sutton gets embarrassed like don't put that at. My friends might see it.

You know she's only in kindergarten. She knows what I d'oh her mom, her friends. Mom's followed me she knows that her friends might see it, and she's embarrassed about that. Uh, so long story Short is priceless. I got a d m over Mother's Day saying, Basically shaming me that I only pay attention when daughter that I don't pay attention to setting them like you do not know what

does not

like some random person on Instagram, but I even looked She's not even a mom, you know, it's just But regardless of that, the mom shaming Israel, and that's whenever it gets very much under my skin. Because I know in my heart that I'm a really great mom, and I'm very present and sudden actually gets way more attention from because she's a lot. She wants to talk about things, and she's a lot. A little bit neater was when he's my like, independent, like I'm gonna run free and do crazy things and I'm funny, but she doesn't need me as much a certain needs like she's just they're just totally different personalities. And for someone to say that I don't pay attention to one kid just because of the 15 seconds videos that they see on Instagram stories. Every day is very offensive, but I see what they mean, like I see it what they see. But it's like you don't give it any. You don't give

it. And he's just like whatsoever. But But it's, ah, did it touch on an insecurity that that you had? Or why? Why?

Well, it's

just cause the shit is that it seems so obvious. But I feel

like it's insecurity is that people are misunderstood because of Instagram. And I always try to remind people when I speak in public, especially like college girls that see all these people like myself on instagram. It's like I try to be real and authentic on my page. At the same time, I'm not gonna show some things that are personal, like I'm not going to say Clay and I got in a fight today. You wanted to hear about it like there is so much real life behind the scenes. Even if I try to be vulnerable and share a lot of deep things about me like I'm not gonna bring my family into that we're gonna bring, you know, my parents into that. It's like you people need to really be, um, informed consumers and realize all this stuff that they see on Instagram is 100% real. And, um, and people should realize that I only share with anymore because it's obviously a personality trait and people just I get insecure because I know that I could be misunderstood so easily by saying one thing wrong. It could be turned so easily. And

how do you do that? How do you think? How do I not offend 250,000? That's just impossible.

I think it's impossible to know if in people and that's that's something that I would have to swallow, you know?

Yeah, there's there was Ah, lady. They've yelled at my wife and I for with our 18 month old for stopping and the sidewalk, um, huge sidewalk. We're the only ones on it here in San Francisco. This is, like, three days ago, and, uh, and we just stopped because, um, our daughter, like, just stopped walking.

And we're trying to see me to pick you up. And this lady, probably 45 year old woman who looked, you know, she didn't look insane. She looked like she was somewhat put together, yelled at us for stopping on the sidewalk. Yeah, and that is That's just a very recent example. Off. Like you, it could be the most banal vanilla thing, and it can still set someone off. Yeah, but I mean, within within four seconds,

it was like, Well, okay, this is this lady had something going on. Yeah, but I can't imagine we could see that and walk away from it. That must be well for me. That would be one of the toughest jobs. And And I see this a little bit with the podcast and with, um, with followers on Twitter of just like you just don't know how someone's going to interpret something of a share. Is that one of the toughest jobs? Mentally, Just kind of juggling. Okay. Yeah. Hello, people perceive?

Totally. And I just you know, I tried to be PC as possible, but it's it's so hard to defend people on in Syria, by the way that you people can always twist your words, and it's it's tricky. So I just have to be sensitive and do my best. And

what are some, uh, tell me the rest of the team sees mentioned Clayton. Then shouldn't nanny like Martha

your name? Yes. And so, um, Taylor is my assistant. She's kind of part time as needed. And she helps me on the days that I like slave my kitchen And, like, all kind of create recipes throughout the week and test um, And then on Tuesdays, it's like, Okay, here's this recipe I've been working on. Let's actually shoot it right down every little ingredient, How much going in and take pictures of it and, like, get it block ready.

So she helps me on those days with little events that I d'oh and kind of things in between and picks up some slack. And just so help support me on the day to day stuff. And then, like I mentioned earlier, recently signed with the management firm D B A. They're out of L. A. They're amazing. Um, and they help manage me and all my partnerships.

Really? What is your What is a management from?

So they basically, anytime anyone e mails me wanting to work with me, I've connect them with Denise, my manager, and she kind of hashes out. It's so great because she is able to negotiate for me like I can't. It's so hard to as a creator. Know your worth. Um, And they have it down to a science and know howto talk to these people and, um, get a partnership that makes sense for both of us. And it's not just like a, you know, sometimes I think I was doing a lot of partnerships that were they were way more benefited from it than I was. And so, um,

they've helped me a lot generate a lot more income, and I still have the final say of who I work with and who I partner with and always take, um, very intentional about who I partner with, because I know that that says a lot about who I am, and I want to make sure that it makes sense of my brand. But they help do all the nit picky business side of it that I might not be that great at

What is that? What's important is that you really, genuinely love your

I just worked with Malala that we mentioned earlier. Awesome. I love that company. Um, I love jovial foods. They are like a gluten free brown rice pasta, and it's like literally two ingredients. Siete day foods is amazing. They do the Have you ever had Saturday? Jobs? Oh, my God. You better go buy him tonight. They do the grain free cassava tortillas and chips. They're incredible. Their base at Austin. Probably my favorite favorite brain to work with.

Um And how come What? What do they do that

makes you are such a family? They have a really cool company in the way that they operate. They're very intentional about who they hire on. And, um, they'll fight like my whole family. Don't Austin and just treat us to a good weekend, but also invite us into their homes and cook for us like we are part of their family. And it's it just makes you want to support them so much and their products are outrageously good. Like I'm not just saying that because I love them like, um, they're just on incredible company. So I love Seattle. Um, there's 70 more. I'm probably

missing, but which one would you if you could go back in time in a race from working with them? Is there any that you can mention that you're like, I actually

I did. Early on, there was one time that I did a partnership, and it's not that the brain didn't align with my brand that didn't have anything to do with it. But it was one brain that I worked with. I'm not gonna bad mouth it because that's not my style. But I did like a like a quarterly posting with them, and this was right before, like, my blood just really kind of took off. And they paid me so little. And after about the second time that I felt with him, like I'm literally getting paid like a penny to go on here in post these embarrassing pictures with this product, like a year later. So it made me realize, OK, no more like year lungs partnerships unless it's like a really awesome out of this world like home run partnership,

because otherwise it gets kind of weird because you know that the right that I've continued to grow it just doesn't make sense to do something like that, because what I can charge then and then after two months alone, it was like, Hey, this is not This is not equal playing ground like your little literally paying me in product almost so It was one of those things that I was like, Wow, why did I do that? Why did I sign this? That's what the news is so good at this. Well, to said, That helps me, you know, it's just hard to know the whole business side

of all this. When is that point where someone says, Okay, I need a manager? What's the what is that career? Orc.

I think that if I would have, um, side with the manager year ago, it would have not made sense. Because even though I found my voice, I had it really realized like, This is my brand I could do so much more with other than just like do sponsored pose are realized. I could have a product line. I could do all these events. Aiken grew speaking endeavors. I can. I mean, I could do TV if I want to do like, I could do so many things with the define dash now, and I think when you realize that it's time to, like, expound upon it and not just do like hey,

I'm in a partner with happy moves, even though I've never partner with them. But I think when you realize like one. If I partner with happy moves and made my own juice straight, like when you get to that level of,

uh, for what it's worth by the way out for people, listen to the podcast for the first time. I do not get anything from happy every time. I just She's a random crazy You just you Just another example? No. Yeah, but I'm sure your listeners might

have. But that could have started Thio. That kind of started to fall. But I was doing these partnerships that weren't just sponsored and I was like, I don't know, much charge. I don't know. I'm doing the quality control, isn't there? Like I partnered with one company where they made my dishes and we're serving it to people like a meal prep service, and I kind of just charge them a flat, right? And then I realized they're selling the shit out of these things, and that's kind of not really fair. They're using my recipe in my name and some of the rescued some of the dishes in another city. We're not coming out the way that people expected them to, cause I've cooked my recipes for that.

This is not taste right. And so I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like this. And luckily, it was a very short term thing. So and they were great to work with a great company, But it was just out of my realm of knowledge. And I realized, OK, that was right at the time. That's the manager started to reach out to me, to something with them. And, um,

I really like to be a because they understand the whole product side of things and the quality control and how to, like, really take your brain and go to the next level. So I have some really fun ideas, have some products I want to do that. I'm working on with them behind the scenes that hopefully they'll be out on the shells one of these days.

It's all so, yeah, you were in following. You wouldn't know that there is this this team and that's that's how it always is sometimes and most importantly, starting with a really supportive spouse or family members. Exactly what, um, s 01 of the questions that I love to ask everybody is tell me three stories that have helped shape who you've become. And I show you this like, two hours before

I didn't even see I've checked me because I'm a big Really. Okay, so this is really on the couch, Okay? Yes, but I can t o let me see if I can

do is totally fun.

The first thing that comes to mind is, um, my study abroad experience. I grew up in a small town. I've kind of always been in Texas. And even though my parents were open minded and taught me a lot about outside the world, you can't really experience it until you do something like that and got on your own. And so in college, I studied abroad in Spain and it literally changed my life. I

said, you're right. Are you remembering? Yeah.

Um so that was a really big turning point for me as a person that I think made me open up my mind so much toe, just everything. And I came back at the time I was dating the guy that I grew up with, and he's a great person, but I would have married him. I would have done the slightest thing, which is fine, but It's not who I am. I have. I want a travel a lot. I love Clayton. He's literally always putting me outside my comfort zone and pushing me in totally different ways. And I think I've gone to city. I would have never married somebody like Clayton because he is a total weirdo. If my dad was like, you're gonna be in this guy,

I like it. I like his style for listeners I just made and we're gonna look upstairs. I can't see him. Eso maybe. And hopefully you can't even hear this. But, uh, yeah, long hair, great great mustache, action giant beard, great

beard. He's always changing, is always evolving and just doing what he wants to do. And that's it's It's different from what I grew up thinking that I would marry and I would have never married someone like him had I not had this experience really opened up my mind. So that was a really big turning point. My 2nd 1 is Clayton and I. We moved to Austin after college, and I got pregnant on accident. A great accident on my ad, but that was obviously a huge turning point for us. I was 24. Pregnant was a working in politics of the time, which, by the way, I will never work in politics. You hated it. Um,

and that was a really big turning point because we were young and we got pregnant young and things shifted gears than I was at home, and I was wanting to do something, but I also want to be home with the baby. So that's kind of where the divine dish came about two. So really big turning point there. The 3rd 1 I think, would just be. What I'm doing now has been a huge turning point. That a fine dish and starting my own company. And being a boss lady has been a big turning point for me, too. As a person, I've found up so many things about me that I didn't even know about myself along this process. So I did have three off the top

of my head. I'm impressed. Very impressed. All right, this next one is also gonna put you on the spot. Okay, Um and it's ah, but not as much. It's What's the topic that you think a lot about? But you rarely get to actually talk about it socially or professionally. Just something that's like actually consumes a lot of mine Mine space. But you rarely ever talk

about out loud. Um, I'd say mental health is a big one, and I I do try to talk about that a little bit on my page, but and I kind of have to accept time aside to bet today I'm gonna talk about something kind of heavy because after I had sat in my oldest, I'd never struggled anxiety or anything like that before. But I really struggled with anxiety after having her, and I think it's just cause I was a little bit lost of is that home? And I didn't know what I was gonna do next, and I was taking care of everybody but myself. And, um, that's also where the whole 30 kind of came in and changed my life because I did it to lose weight originally, which I mean, I lost a little bit of weight doing it, but really, it shifted my girls to being like,

You need to take care of yourself before you can do everything that you're doing for everyone else around you. So that was a fourth big turning point for me. Um, so mental health is really important to me. I really do have to set an intention every day to take care of myself, because I am a someone that likes to take care of everybody else but me. But to set that intention every day. What is that thing that seems

me said that intention? What do you mean?

Like I need to have, like, my checklist for the week at least need to goto work out, like, three or four times a week to know that like, I set that time to set take care of myself. I need toe, you know, focus on my block in my work. And it's so it's so hard because, like, house stuff comes, that kid's stuff comes up and it's like, You can't be everywhere it woods, Um and you kind of have to set those lines in the sand, like even with my lovely husband, like sometimes because my job is flexible.

It's like, Hey, we need to do this today and it's like, Yes, you're right. But I've already committed to this and, like, I have to do this, Um, even though I am more flexible than

he does. What does Clayton

do? Clayton? He, uh, he's a jack of all trades, so he does real estate development. Okay, Uh, so it's just kind of hard to, um, balance it all. And motherhood is tricky. And the mom guilt Israel And sometimes, like before, I was really working full time on to find dish. I was took them toe every ballet class, took them to everything.

I was everywhere. And so when we hired on Martha's a really hard change for both set and I not really winning, she was too young with the time to really know the difference. But first, that night was really hard because she was used to me being there by her side for everything. And of course, I'm so grateful. My job allows me to be at her big events at school and you know anything that my mom muffins of mom's. Anything that we do, I could be there. But it's like the day to day things, like just taking them to ballet class or picking them up from school and dropping them off like I had to let go of that and it was kinda hard at first, but it's great cause Aiken work and show my kids like that. They can follow their passion and create something amazing with it. So that was the tricky

tricky sub for me. Yeah, it's in that checklist. Sounds ah. So needed. Yeah, just you can't keep it in your head of, like, oh, I needed I love doing these things. Yeah, and I bet I'll do them and remember them. But I have such a big fan mental health in less, uh, lists of things before you go to bed. Things that you did that day in the list of things that you want to do tomorrow. Yeah.

Just took, like, psychological, like, Okay, that's in a safe place yet I don't need to remind myself of it every seven minutes. I don't forget in lists of things that that you do that give you immense joy and yeah, and and let you take care of you if you don't have those lists, and yet you at least get your physical list. Yes. It's so so. The four list that I think are the most important for me is the things I did today. Things I'm gonna do tomorrow. You know, at 6 p.m. Eight p. M.

Um, Could be three things and three things. Um, just where it's like, OK, peace of mind. I don't need to think about these lists of things I'm grateful for every morning, try to every morning gratitude, You know, things that I'm grateful for. Um, And then you have the list of things that make me feel my best. Yeah, And feel healthy. Feel

healthy? Yes, for sure. Um, and just like eating clean makes a big difference on my cognitive cognitive function. So just those things, If I can just gonna focus on those things that make me that I know feel good and keep me at bay and don't spike my anxiety, it's like I can I can be stressed out. And I know that I'll I'll be fine, and we'll have, like, an anxiety attack or anything. So,

um, I've never had anxiety

attack. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yes, definitely. I went through a really hard time figuring out because just because I never struck with it, and when it first sets, it's scary. And you're like, I think I'm dying. I mean, I'm sure anybody with things

I do know again said to two guests. Talk about panic

attacks. Yes, for sure. And it was just so. And sometimes it's just hard to explain because everything in your life is great, happy, perfect. And you're having anxiety. And you're like, I don't know why, but I can't keep I can't control it. Um, And so really learning how to manage that through exercise, clean eating, focusing on myself, taking the time to say no to things, you know, saying yes to things that you should do and saying no to the rest. It's hard, but you have to be ableto filter that out and just kind of focused on

totally family. The art of saying,

you know for sure, artist A nose Very really key.

Uh, it is Ah, yeah, is one of the one of the like it for me? I remembered saying, or someone telling me for two weeks just say three times as many nose and try it out for two weeks. So yeah, and I did. I was like, I'm not I'm not bombing people. I'm not hurt feelings and, well, it's just a share. I'm saving so much time,

especially like working one story ends and the money that they're offering. It's like you can say yes all the time, but it's just going toe delude everything that I've worked for by saying yes is two brains are 100% in alignment with what I've created. So saying no to a lot of that is tricky, but so worth in the long run. I think it always ends up paying off in the whole scheme of things. So I'm really good. No say these days.

Well, thank you so much, Alex, For for joining me on the podcast and giving just a lot of great bullet, the line just visibility into someone that, ah, bubble line is just Ah, a CZ. You are one of most entertained people follow on Gone Again and amazing recipes. And it is it is, I known many ways. It is the dream job, but there's a bloodline version that I really appreciate you sharing.

Well, thanks for having

me. I appreciate it. Shocks. And where can people find you online?

The define dish dot com at the define dish at all the social media places. So I'm

pretty easy to find awesome cattle. Thank you so much. Friends and listeners. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you want to hear more of these types of conversations, go over to your favorite podcast. Nap and hit, subscribe or leave us a review. Better, bad love hearing from people that appreciate this type of conversation on one more of it. You can also follow us on Twitter at Go below the line as well a CNR Twitter bio, our email address for you to shoot us a note on any suggestions of guests or topics that we should cover. We read every single one, so thank you for those that reported symptoms in. That's it for us today. We will see you next time on below the line.