got a keen that, but I gotta clean up that. But three butt crack to your nuts. We gotta clean up there. But that's like one that's like one little, you know, kind of like God's got a little like country twinning Thio.

Hello and welcome to the podcast. Right, Dead listeners. Today we're joined by my friend Mike Folding the owner of Mike Foale in productions Photographer, Videographer and Rad Dead Mike and his wife. Prayer of the kind of people who don't let having a kid stop them from having the life that they're used to. So they continue during the thing. Go to the gym. Going, hiking, going on on the venture and so forth. So if you want to know what it's like to have a newborn baby and Thio go camping three weeks into his life, this is the podcast for you, Mike. First question. Used to do a lot of stuff. A lot of video, a lot of photos, a lot of creative work. Now that you have a kid, what's life been like?

Time is less for sure. So I have a lot of videos like home videos or travel videos that are just like personal fun projects that are just like on the super backburner, which is hard. It's me, um, because I don't know about for any other. I'm sure with all lines of work. But like the more things that you've started that you haven't finished, that just sort of haunt you. And so any given evening I have about, like, eight projects that are haunting me and now even more so because my studio that I do the work in is also haunting me because it needs to be like, cleaned and organized, like I just want to avoid that place at all costs. But trying to just be better with, like, time and just start setting time on the calendar, even if it's an hour or whatever, that can't finish something but at least to start it and just chip away. And that's been pretty successful lately.

So full time job, plus a business plus a kid, and you still have time to go to Jim. How do you do that?

Yeah, Jim, So I don't know. I'm just like I've always been like I always do a lot of different things. I think it's just like my interest. I have like a d d. Just in general, like for everything. So it's like all go to the gym for a while that will get bored with that. We'll start. I started ju jitsu last year, and I did that for, you know, a handful of months, and then I need a little break from that, mainly because I got injured, but I kind of just cycle on things,

you know, It's like yoga for a while or kettlebells for a while. So fitness in general is something that always I try to incorporate in my life. But, like I'm also cool with not being super routine. So I would say that's the way I've been doing it lately is waking up at 55 30 a. M. Going to the gym before he wakes up, or my wife wakes up, come home, kind of do my little morning thing and then go to work. And that seems to be the best route because I used to do like jujitsu in the evenings or, you know, working on the evenings. But now time you know he goes to bed at let's say, like 6 30 I get home at six.

And I do a class at 6 30 tonight. Basic. Just don't see him throughout the week, which is obviously not ideal. So it's just time management. You have to be, Really? I definitely have figured it out, so I can't give me advice on on my go to, but I would say waking up earlier has been better for me than trying to do things in the evenings. So how do

you feel being a first time pair in the this? Yeah,

I would say, uh, you know, growing up, I never actually wanted to be a dad. I never, like saw myself as a dad. It just wasn't on my like to do list as like an adult. It was I was just wanted to be, like, do something really cool or really, like, successful. I always I don't know. Maybe I was, like, underappreciated as a kid.

I wanted that, like, appreciation or praise as I got older. But that was like, most important means. Like I just wanted to do cool things. Um, which never was great with relationships. Because, you know, typically people want to know the future. And if you're not down doesn't say, like, have a kid, and that's in their cards. Then maybe you're not the best candidate.

So it was actually my wife and I've been together for 13 years. Married for going on three. Um, probably didn't get married because I wasn't sure if I want to have kids for a long time. Uh, but, you know, it's once we got pregnant. It was sort of like that was when it definitely changed, but it wasn't that much different. Is it okay? Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. Uh, once we got pregnant,

it was like you knew something changed, but nothing really actually changed. It was just, like gonna happen. So I would say the whole pregnancy thing was just like a a long waiting game. But it wasn't that nothing really changed. But once he was born, everything changed, That's for sure. I mean, just in general, not having never held a baby. I never changed a diaper before, you know, we had we had our guy. And so just the first day at the hospital,

it was like, What do I do? How are you guys leaving us in here? In this room with this kid? I have no clue how to take it. He's like he's like a little glass doll like I can't She's gonna break, you know, and Sharon and we're dead tired. Labor was 49 hours. She was 10 days late, were exhaust. We didn't sleep for two nights and and then had him at 4:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning. And then it was like, Okay, and here's your baby and we're, like,

dead. You mean like so it was like, Oh, my God, we need to take a nap But like we have this little creature we have to take care of And so, like it was that, like fear of falling asleep But knowing that I had to fall asleep and then, sure enough, I wake up and he's like, choking, you know, like mucus or whatever babies. It was very common, but it was still like I thought I was ringing the nurse spring. The nurse she comes in here just, uh,

just spit it up 100% fine. And she's like, Here you go. And I'm like, Oh, my God, can you please stay in here and then you haven't slept for 48 hours, right? Just fearing another strange experience, and then you leave the next day. We're like keys in the car, and I'm just like, there's no, it was a Sunday at the hospital. No one's there. And I'm,

like, going, like, 10 miles an hour on the road, going like, should we get on the freeway or just take back roads? Like, is it safe to be on the fruit with him? You know, just terrified. Yeah, definitely terrified. And then, you know, you get better. But the first few nights,

definitely also I hate doesn't sleep, you know, when it first happens. And I'm like, Did we like we do the right thing? Like, should we have had a kid or we like, ready for this? This is insane. I mean, it's just hard to make a point, But you still wonder, like, you know, should I have, like,

started this climb because I don't know if I could make it to the top, but like you're ready on the mountain. So you might as well keep going. I mean, obviously with the kid, you don't have a choice to turn around. Or at least I wouldn't. But yes, I mean life in general. It's just time. You know, when you go about your day when you don't have a kid or, you know, just don't It's like you're responsible for yourself. I could quit my job and I could find something else. And I know like my bare minimum that's needed to survive,

right? And it's like my wife has her own job. You can do whatever you want your time. There's maybe, uh, consequences for your choices, but their choices still nonetheless. And it's like you just have way more freedom. And then now you know things have changed dramatically where it went from two people, two incomes to three people, one income. So all my decisions on what I want to do in the future, how I want to spend my time is way different, you know, because he's first. Now it's like I'm not first anymore.

So I want to change jobs or change hobbies or anything like that. It's gonna influence him, you know. And so how does it influence him? Is gonna basically give me the road of like, Can I do it or not? And that's just different. So well, I remember

before you guess Head River, right? And you're right. It was still pregnant seeing photos of you paddle boarding in the middle of the lake because it was ridiculously hot Summer day and seemed like you guys had no care in the world, right? Like it was perfectly fine. Which is amazing because most people, when on the due date, they're not paddleboarding. They're just like sitting at home, waiting by the car, whatever it is, right, Like just waiting to do the whole baby thing. And you just feel like, very relaxed about the whole thing. And I think it kind of carried through.

Now that you have your kid, you're not really letting that get in the way much, right? I love how you guys going campaign, whether it's in the snow or just like surfing. He's just coming along with you, right? Is just part of life, which is, I think is amazing because a lot of people say Well, now that seem to know, get a house, find the school, find stable job and get, like, really, really boring a ll around. And I feel like that's very much not you. So,

uh, you just do it right like I know it sounds easier and it is easier said than done for sure. But like you, it's super easy to just not doing on changes become super boring because it is easier to stay home. 100%. He sleeps better home. He has everything at home. We don't have to do anything, you know, like you have to get ready. It's so much easier to stay home. But staying at home all time is insanely boring. And we'd go crazy, right? And it's I think the first few years, I think, is when you have the most flexibility because he doesn't care.

He'll sleep in a car seat. He'll sleep in someone's arms. He'll sleep in a camper. You know he's routine in the sense you want to get him to go down maybe the same time every day. But like he doesn't need a school. He doesn't have a group of friends. He doesn't have like, a routine day today, So I think up until they're like five, I think it actually easier to sort of like, not worry about his habits and routines. In that sense, I guess social habits maybe because he doesn't have any right, You're it. But I don't know. I think like it's just important to us,

because a I want to set a good example to, like do So many people told us our lives were like, good luck. You're not going to sleep for a year. You're not gonna get you selling the camper. You're not doing, you know, ju jitsu, anything anymore, huh? I'm like, What is wrong with people like you still can live? You know what I mean? When you have a kid, it's harder, But you can do it.

And so for us, it's like you just do it right, like we had a camper and it wasn't really safe. It wasn't, like, optimal for the three of us because he had right up front, which isn't that saved, and then be my wife is in the back so we can talk. And we all say it's about the journey, not the destination. Well, three hours of a journey and you can talk to her, you know, and he's, you know, passed out.

It's just not a Superfund journey. So, you know, we had to make the decision to, like, figure out how can we do this safely and like as a family. So we figured out getting a truck and then a truck camper was like the best situation he could ride in the back safe in the car seat. She came right up front. We could be a family. We still have a camper so we could go camping and we can go four seasons. We could go in the snow or whatever. I mean, this is like getting on a tangent of just camping. But like you just it's like for me, it's super important. Go and see those things,

and obviously it's important to him to is getting fun. Sounds like it's really exciting. So you just you like, I mean, obviously where you're financially, you know, we figured it out. It didn't cost a ton of money, but like we had enough money to make it work. And it's not like everybody. You could just go out and just buy a new camper or something like that. But like there's just you figure out where you want to spend your time and your money and you make it work, you know, and so also having a bunch of people over from the get go made it really easy. He can be held by anybody. He can be babysat by nearly anybody. So just makes it easier because we didn't stay cooped up. So he's used to seeing people used to going places. He's used to act like an animal down there with

us planning Look like when you have a low one that you want to take camping.

Yeah. I mean, definitely Seattle being basically an hour and 1/2 to kind of a lot of different, maybe maybe, like, two and 1/2 hours. But like you got the coast, if you go west or you got the peninsula of the strait, you go west, and then you go east. You got the mountains, or you've got kind of the desert tons of lakes, rivers, bubble block. Uh, so planning. We've just been around a lot,

so we kind of have our favorite places, which makes it kind of easy. There's not as much exploration of Like what? Where are we going to stay or what's this place like? So that's kind of nice. Um, but yeah. I mean, if he doesn't, you know, they don't take too much. You kinda just look at the calendar and, you know, it's just important us to do those things. So we kind of just already part of our schedule. But,

you know, bring a bunch of diapers, and if not, then you buy him on the way. And make sure you know is right now it's easy to cause. It's like he's breastfeeding. So it's like he has everything he needs to bring mom's story. Mom, Really, that's I think the biggest challenge for that camping really is just like his sleep. We're in a super small camper, but and he needs to go to bed at, like, seven or whatever. So it's like, What does that mean for us then?

So way don't want to go to bed at seven. So it's strangely, it's worked where we put him up in like the top bunk, and then we close the little curtains and then we're down below and we can kind of used the TV or music or just hang out and drink a little wine or something, huh? It works out so far, so he's getting more and more aware of his surroundings. So I think, like noises and things wake about more and more, but still so far it's what's working out pretty well. And what do

you do it? So you put him to sleep at six. But you're like, in the middle of mountains with snow. Theo, do you go outside and hang out so far, them alone on the truck,

we would. I mean, it's fine. Like we have a little baby monitor. Whatever. Uh, So before we got the truck camper, we did quite a bit of camping with our motor home, but not in cold environments. It was summertime, but, um, yeah, we would just hang outside and have a little monitor and keep an eye on making sure he's good. Now that it's like cold, we are trapped inside the camper with him. So we just kind of talked him away,

and he is generally pretty good. And, um, you know, he might wake up a little bit here and there, but yeah, it's pretty. You know, it's not. I think summer times a whole lot easier than the wintertime, because it's just like, you know, you don't have toe be cooped up. You can go outside and hang out in chairs enjoy the evening while he sleeps the night away. Babies are fragile, but they're extremely resilient,

you know. I mean, think of how long humans have been around with zero technology. Like, let's think about the technology, you know, a long time ago in 100 years ago. Far different camper. No, they don't, you know, in, like a hospital or any of these things that we think are so important. You know, things were very different and people still survive. Maybe the death rate was higher,

but people still survive, right? So it's like, I think we got it. We should give him a little bit more credit, but also where, you know, they're super delicate at the same time, you know, you're looking at you just want to protect him. So it's like, of course, you're not just gonna throw him into some crazy environments, but like, I think we'd be surprised that they're tougher than we give him credit for.

So camping. You're So what do you think has been the biggest revelation for you after

big question, um, revelation. I mean, I definitely have never loved anything as much as I love like it's crazy you know, like I didn't didn't realize. I knew that was obviously gonna love my son or my daughter, But like I wept when he was born, I mean, I like dropped because I just couldn't was like a miracle to see how you like everything that lines up toe like this day. That, like he's now like being born, is just like it's insane. Um, so that alone, like, I think just I know that's a revelation or more just like such a crazy experience.

But that was just an amazing, amazing experience, I think, as a dad now, I think the biggest revelation is that it's a constantly moving target, and I think it's good. Um, it's just good practice to know that like, I think myself and I think a lot of people humans in general. But I think I'm more on the controlling or like I want to just have things in control side and the thing when you do that you learn. When you have a kid, it's just like it's just not in your control like everything can be adding up that you did everything right and he's still just not gonna sleep right or you did everything right and it still just doesn't want to feed or you did everything right. It's just throwing a fit like there's there's what you can do to put you in an ideal situation. But it doesn't mean it's gonna be an ideal situation. And I think that's a really good just practice for life. Is that like you can do all the things you can wake up early?

You can. You know you can work out and eat healthy, but you still might get cancer like you just never know, you know, or you can go to school for 10 years. But you just might not get that job, you know, or you might not be as happy as you thought. And so I think you have to realize that, like kids are such a moving target, right when you figure him out, they moved to something different, right? And one of my mentors, I don't know, had photography Mentor had said to be.

You know, the minute you think you've figured it out, you're fucked, and I don't even like a like mitt. So it was like such a small statement, but it's stuck with me for, like, eight years, and it, like, applies like everything, right? It's just like you've never figured out because he was, like, 68 at the time or something. And he,

like that guy, was so cool because he realized like the technology was always moving right. So there's so many people in photography, for instance, that were anti additional camera, anti Web, anti blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's just like looking at as it just hey, another opportunity. I gotta figure out how to make it work in this environment because this is the environment that's gonna be right. It's like you don't want to just be kicking and screaming. Same thing with you with your kid.

If you just not sleeping, you know, I just want to be pissed off. It's like you just although a lot of times we might be you just have to figure out this like a all right, Like God, try something else. Got try something else and at the end of the day just might not work. Nothing might work. It's just the way it is, right? So if there's a revelation, I would say that it's a constant moving target and you're never gonna have it figured out.

How do you deal with that between you and your wife? Very like when you get into the stressful situations when you're sleep deprived and your kid keeps crying and somebody's gotta put him to bed and nothing helps. But he does. Do

we just tag team it? You know as much as we can. I think I've never realized how amazing single parents are like I just can't even fathom like how you do it alone. There's just I just I can't I have so much praise to single parents because it's so hard for just the two of us in a good, healthy financial like there's like a little stress on in these other areas, such like literally. It's like just him. Going to sleep like that's all we're kind of worried about, which is so minimal, and it still feels like the world. But I think the best way is just like it's just really supporting each other as much as possible, not forgetting about each other. Don't make it all about him. It's like if she's in there for 15 minutes and he's not going to bed. It's like, I'll swoop in and be like, Hey,

you know, let me take over for a while and just you just rotate and you know, when we're down watching Netflix and he's gone to bed and he keeps waking up every 20 minutes, it's just like you sure turned this time. You know, when it's your turn this time. And I think ultimately we also just try to have fun with everything you know. So we're I have a video monitor. So it's like, You know, it's always fun to make you know, faces or moon the other person because, you know, they're watching to see how you know how things were going. So you kind of you have to make it fun. I think that's probably the best thing that we've learned is just like just keeping it fun,

because otherwise she's gonna go to crazy, Can't keep, can't take yourself too seriously. I've always kind of struggled. I wouldn't say like depression, but as a creative kind of ebbs and flows of my energy and excitement around things, and once I do something for too long, it starts to just kind of get to me. But man, I will say hearing him in the morning, even if I've got no sleep, just hearing this little like talk or is like a little yawn at 4 a.m. It's like it literally makes me smile, which is just crazy, like I've never had that before, right? It's like your alarm clocks going off,

even if it's to go to Mexico, are to go snowboarding or to see your mom, who you haven't seen in 10 years. You're still like I just want to sleep for 20 more minutes. You know, you kind of have that like you're not ready. But when he makes a noise like when I wake up to that noise, it's like I I just I'm like, filled with happiness, which just sounds cheesy. But it's like super true, like it just have that realization. Last week, Rose was like, Oh my God, like I woke up like smiling because it's kind of annoying.

Play with the little one, right? Just like that, he's healthy and he's like here, and he's like, Okay, right, and it's like we created him and he's like a miracle, like I think it's just like that's always playing in my mind that like I look at him like Howard, you know, it's just it's pretty crazy. But so I would say going I would say the asked of you with you the happiness is definitely like is big and I think there's a lot of people who, you know that might not be the case with. And there's no I think it's actually pretty common that people are, you know, get depressed or postpartum depression and things like that.

Um, but for me, it's just been really like it's been something like toe look forward to, I guess you know, it's like a whole another aspect of life that's just like, exciting, because even though you would seem to be really boring like, Hey, do you want to hang out with a little baby and just, like, lie on the ground for, like, three hours and just talk like not even English? To him like that sounds like the most boring day ever. And then you have your own kid and you do that like that. People have so much fun.

We're just like hanging out like talking like crazy, you know, like it's just funny, like how It's simple, just cause you have so much love for that. It's a super happy. So I think that it's been a big one. I think also, though it's like it is hard, you know, It's like, really hard, harder. When we first had him for the 1st 2 months, it was hard, but it was like,

manageable. I didn't work for the first month, so that obviously made things like really easy, easier. But now it's like kind of like I was saying earlier, where just not having the ability to do things that like 6 30 at night because, like, essential I won't be able to see him or that means pretending to put him down by yourself. And she's already been with him all day like all of that. It's like it's hard and I think that it's insanely hard for my wife, who stays home with them all day because it's not even like it's just exhausting, cause it's like it's, uh, it's 24 7 Even when he's napping, you're waiting for him to wake up, so you're not truly relax.

You're like never relaxed because you're just always waiting. It's like he's hungry. He's sleeping. He's fussy. You got change him. You gotta move him. You gotta hold them. You got to put him down for a nap. You gotta make sure, you know, it's like it's just it is really hard. So I think we it's not to, like, put fear into anybody because, like, obviously it's hard,

but it really I think you just have to really realize, like raising a kid is hard, you know, like, truly is. And especially if you want to do stuff, you know, if it's important to you to have a life still and figure out a way to, like, have friends over and record podcast, even though like he's just gonna talk to the whole thing. It's like I could have easily said no because she's gone and I have him and it's just not gonna work, but it's like, What's the worst that happens, right? We have to redo it or something.

There's three s, so it's just like I think it's just a good example, just like it is hard. But if you give into it doesn't make it any easier, like you're still like those things still exist, right? But you end up. Just not doing the things you want. Tokyo. So I think it's just gonna push through it

as river grows out. You know, people used to grow up and think they're gonna be firemen. And now you think it's gonna be a completely different for the new age of Children.

Totally. Yeah, I think. I mean, I think it's ready changed with our generation that it's it's not like weird, even 10 years ago. If you work for a start up, like what even, is that? You know that Wait, you don't have 41 K or, like, you know, just there's only five people at this company and like what you're trying to like, take out the banks like you're insane, like your parents or your grandparent's, like people think you're crazy.

Now it's like it's becoming the norm where it's like you run, especially in the coasts. But even inland, you know, you people are small. Business and start ups are happening everywhere all the time. And I think now, kids, it's not like you don't look for a job tohave for 30 years and retire anymore. You know, it's the lifestyle that you want and so I think people are just figuring out how to live life styles, whether that's like being a surf bomb or like a fitness guru or just whatever I think there's like, I think there's just more opportunity and more, Um, resource is for kids, especially like I don't know,

what's gonna be developed for for, like him when he's 20. Like how important is college years, right? I mean, like already Now it's not super important anymore to where I know I would say I know more people with better jobs without a college degree than I do know who went to college and got the job. You know, it's like I know several people who have been in school for 10 years and they don't even use that degree, you know, and doesn't mean it's not worth doing. But I just think it becomes less important a CZ we kind of age because the amount of information and opportunity that is available so it'll just be interesting. I think like I think it's gonna be a more creative already. You're seeing kids younger, generation like way more creative because like everyone has a camera, everyone can make a movie everyone can make a song everyone can, so it floods the market with more of that creativity.

But at the same time, it's so cool, cause, like people who never even knew their creative could be creative. And that's just cool in itself. Yeah, the last thing I think, is just how it's all cliche. I think it's funny, cause all the cliches air kind of true like they grow, they grow up so fast and it's crazy, like he's four and 1/2 months. I don't even remember like how small he was when he was born out. We just felt like a two week old the other day, and I was like, Oh,

my God, like I don't even remember him being that something. It's like he's already so big and like he, uh the day I left to go to L. A. For a week for work, he started rolling over. Of course, you know, it's like, naturally, um, but these little milestones really do. They happened quick. You know, it goes from like being so dependent and like,

just can't do anything except just like lay there to, like, rolling around and talking and holding his head and like, it's just crazy, you know, in grabbing things that's a new one and grabbing his feet. And so I think it's just it's that they really do grow up fast. And so, uh, it's important for me to figure out How do I not miss all of that by being at work, you know, because it's like That's how it's been done for so long, like the dads just not involved, you know, it's so money stay. It's so standard,

and so many like American families. At least it's like, Yeah, the mom reads as a kid, and Dad puts the food on the table and it hangs out on the weekend place. Catch in the backyard or whatever. You know, it's like I don't want to do that. You know? I want to see you walk for the first time, and I don't want to catch it all on video, or I don't want to see it all through just video where I'm not there. So it's like as and I think the new dad is like figuring out how to be more there, how to be more involved, and it's it's not easy because it's just like you're kind of breaking the mold and it's not. It's like what we both can't not work.

That doesn't work. We can't both just be home. Can we like we worked from home. Is that good? I don't know. Can you get any work done from home when you have a four month old? I don't know. I don't know the answer, but I think it's like my goal is to just be there more than I think What's even expected. I think it's like some people are, like, so blown away that I like, hold him and feed him and it's like a weird You're like, Well, you have like his dad like I changes diver, You know,

I'm not. I don't do nearly as much as period because she's got him all the time, but like still, it's just funny. It's like I actually like changing his diaper because it's like a little time that we have together, you know, it's like he hated it. In the beginning, you hated getting diaper changing. Now he like, we sing songs about it. You know it like he's like this, like fun little time, you know, and so I don't know. It's just interesting. Like wanting toe.

Can we hear the day per song?

Oh, man, let's see. It's hard to do it out of practice, but like it's always evolving and clean your But you know, So it's like got a teen that. But I gotta clean up that butt your butt crack to you nuts. We gotta clean up there. But that's like one that's like one little, you know, kind of like God's got a little like country twang. Thio it typically is. Never are. Our diaper songs are like snowflakes, you know. No. Two are ever the same. They're always

a little different. He's not old enough. He had probably. But once she started looking into baby songs, that is. Rafi, This guy from Toronto, Canada has been doing this for 40 years and pretty much as monopoly on old songs and in Seattle actually has this band called Casper Baby Pants. We went to the concert there you go already already the urine and but I mean outside of those two, there's not

that much. So this tons of room I've thought about it. I mean, I'm not gonna live a whole like baby, you know, singing market is I agree, it's theirs. There's room for some new blood, and I think it's all about it's like less about being, like, really good. It's just about being really catchy, like kids just have to like it, right? So I think you can kind of cheat that a little bit. Like the kids don't care If you have, like,

a really good voice, you can play the guitar super. Well, he's gotta make songs. They're, like, relatable to them. Well,

this last four months is still fresh in your mind. What would you recommend or a new expecting parents to prepare themselves when No, no. Like, what would you recommend I do to get ready for this or something on a look out for, you

know? Yeah, I would say, Do the baby the birthing classes? 100% like we did. I think we did one where it was, like three Saturdays for, like, five hours each Saturday, which was kind of a lot. But, man, we learned a lot like I like I don't know what actually happens during birth. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't know. So it,

like, just that like what happens and then what can happen and what are the different drugs and what are the just everything it was like, really, At first, I wasn't interested, and then I would quickly learned like, Wow, I'm actually really glad we're doing this Also, what came up was just her expectations in my expectations. And that was interesting that, like I thought, I knew what she expected and wanted and vice versa. That totally wasn't the deal. So we had to like, have that conversation which was cool in super. I mean,

I'd way rather that happened three months before we have the baby. Then, like in the hospital, about to have the baby and we're disagreeing on, like some method or something be at that's the birthing Classes were huge, highly recommend that, Ah, take the help for sure we're not. We're kind of I wouldn't say we're like introverts, but, like were we're kind of doing our own thing, so we don't love it when, like people want a visit like we don't know, we just we kind of everything's on our schedule, which makes us sound like assholes, but like it's just it was hard for us when everyone was like,

Oh, uh, you know, like we want to come over and bring food and, you know, we want to come over and, you know, help out or watch the baby and like, it's our first reaction like, No, we don't need that. But it was like maybe we should just say Yeah, let's just say yeah, sure, it sounds good. Bring some food over And it was like we didn't have to cook for,

like, I don't know, three weeks and people babysat and just, like, came over and let us sleep during the day because we wouldn't sleep at night. So I think it's like if your reaction is to say no in general, which is ours. Just say yes, a bunch let people help because trouble the one time ever that people are gonna actually help and not expect anything in return like people would come over and we literally being living room and they would leave food on the doorstep because they didn't want to interrupt or, like ask of our time, which is weird. But like when did that ever When could that ever happen, right? Like if a friend or something used to drop something off. And you're like, Okay,

but, like, you know, they're gonna, like, come over and then hang out for a while. Maybe you don't have time, but you want to sound rude. Three. Only time you could ever say Can you just leave it on the front porch even though I'm gonna be right inside is when you just had a baby. So, like, I think, take advantage of that time And, like, just take the help for sure.

That's a big one. Um, expecting parents? I don't know. I think also you just you don't need a ton of crab. I think people like we got given so much i clothes and things like that and like, it was so important. You know, when everyone is telling, you need 31 season, but lots like you can do the wash just like you did before. And they don't care about toys, you know, they're pretty entertained with, like, anything.

Your face. Yeah, like they don't know. It's just I think if there's a whole, obviously there's a huge industry on babies and what they need, but I think it's funny, like, especially when we go camping. You're like, Oh, you literally have nothing. And we're just, like, sitting here and you're super happy. Like that's cool, you know?

So I think it's just easy to like all we need. We need this. We need that. We need this toy. We need this kind of carrier. We need this kind of crap. We need this bowl like we need all these clothes. We need this kind of thing, you know, like it just gets in. We need a bottle warmer. Was one thing that we had a trying to use a hated it when you're breastfeeding. Yeah, And then Or if you're not like I tried just giving them cold milk, like does even like he couldn't care less cold milk, that all babies.

Well, yeah, but like you could also just like he got a lot. I just There's, like, ah, $30 product to heat a bottle of milk when it's like you could just heat the milk with water or whatever. So there's just there was something for everything. There's like a bottle dryer you know you like, but you can just drive the bottle with, like, a towel or like upside down, you know, I mean, like, it's just funny.

So, uh, I would say you don't need all that stuff. And the other thing, the last thing, it's probably too long winded, but, uh, just the wth e Google. Like take Google with a grain of salt because you can google everything and anything that your baby's doing and everybody will have an opinion and an answer it doesn't in most from aren't right, and some of them might be in some aspect of like, Children are just unique. And a lot of times we're just not an explanation for what's going on. And so call your doctor, call your nurse like I think we had, like,

a 24 hour hotline. It was like eight bucks if we wanted to talk to a nurse at, like, 2 a.m. or something worth it. We were freaking out one night. He was spitting up on all this stuff and were Googling things, and he basically had, you know, some ulcer on cancer that if we were to think that the Internet was right and we call the nurse and she, like, runs through this whole long list of questions she's like, Oh, no, he's fine. Yeah, I think he's fine.

We don't need to bring him in any story. Fine. Call back tomorrow. If it doesn't prove, Remember, it was like, Okay, maybe another one is just, like, do stuff, you know, put stuff on the calendar. That's what we did. Like we put that camping trip on the calendar before he was born. Um, just two.

Ensure that we're gonna do it. And he made a decision. Actually, before he was born, we booked a trip to Palm Springs as well is like just his first trip was like easy two and 1/2 hour fly airports five minutes from the you know, the Airbnb towns five minutes away, like everything that is very easy. So I like, Let's just let's go to Palm Springs. Let's use our miles. It's like use the companion fair, make it cheap and like, let's spend a week there that will be like our first. So he was He's three months. Yeah, he's three months old,

so that was like his first time on the plane, and it was like our first time with the baby on the plane. And how does that work and all that stuff. So it was good. I think, like just putting stuff on the calendar to make sure that you do them if they're important to you, is, uh is good, because otherwise that time will come and go. You know, you're if wanted to go camping or to Disneyland or whatever you want to do in July and then all of a sudden, July's here and never made it happen, you know, because time does go really fast.

So and like you said, it's a lot easier to just stay at home. But you gotta make an after and I'm gonna get you out works for me, and I think it's been great, eh? If listeners take relevant points for them, I think it's important that you know you can have a life. You can go outside, you can enjoy there some things you can do to make your life better, and that's all it is, right, and otherwise it's really tiring, but simple, uh, complicated, but doable. You just roll with it,

and then it's It's a beautiful thing. So thank you both for being on the podcast. You got it. Think it Thank you for having us. Yeah, and he's definitely had a good time. Well, there you have it, folks. You just heard how to have fun and have a five month old kid from Mike fold in. If you enjoyed this podcast, it would be really helpful if you tell a friend or two so I can grow this audience and keep doing more of them. If you have any feedback on what I could do better, what kind of guest to invite or anything you want to share? You can find us on social media. Old links are on rat dead show dot com. Thank you again for listening and see you next time.