3 ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce | George Blair-West
TED Talks Daily
Choosing to marry and share your life with someone is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. But with divorce rates approaching fifty percent in some parts of the world, it's clear we could use some help picking a partner. In an actionable, eye-opening talk, psychiatrist George Blair-West shares three keys to preventing divorce -- and spotting potential problems while you're still dating.
In this episode
- 00:00 - What pulls relationships apart?
- 00:18 - What are some of the most distressing human experiences we can have?
- 01:37 - What do we know as a modern society?
- 02:04 - Why isn’t there a divorce campaign?
- 03:21 - What are three life hacks for preventing divorce?
- 04:28 - Is it good to have sex outside of marriage?
- 05:21 - What are the three reasons you should get married later?
- 06:20 - What are the twenties?
- 07:02 - What makes relationships most stable and happy for a longer term?
- 10:29 - What is the most important decision you can make?
Smash Notes summary for this episode
What pulls relationships apart?
Found in timestamp 8:46 of the podcast:
Reliability, or the lack of it. It takes two forms. You and your partner must follow through on what you say you’re going to do. Also, you both should feel protected and taken care of.
What are some of the most distressing human experiences we can have?
There are experiences on the list, such as death of a spouse, divorce, marital separation, imprisonment, marriage, and other events.
What do we know as a modern society?
That prevention is better than cure. This is why we vaccinate and campaign for so many diseases. None of these campaigns come close to affecting 45% of us, which is our current divorce rate.
Why isn’t there a divorce campaign?
George Blair-West thinks that maybe it's because the current policy makers are Generation X. They don’t believe things like attraction and the way relationships are built are changeable or educable.
What are three life hacks for preventing divorce?
George Blair-West stresses three things. His first life hack is that people should get married whenever they're older. The second thing is while dating, to see if there is equal power in the relationship. The last life hack is to keep caring for one another. This includes continuous forgiveness of your wrongs.
Is it good to have sex outside of marriage?
Blair-West thinks it’s a good thing because a study revealed that in Generation X, 91% of women had premarital sex before the age of 30 is a good thing that these relationships are happening later.
What are the three reasons you should get married later?
Getting married later allows the other two preventers of divorce to take play. The second reason is because the human brain grows until at least the age 25. Finally, your younger personality will not correlate with your older personality.
What are the twenties?
These are the ages of rapid change and maturation.
What makes relationships most stable and happy for a longer term?
The relationships that are most stable and happy over longer term are when the couple shares equally power. They were also influenceable. Data revealed that women were particularly influenceable. Men who were influenceable tended to be outstanding fathers.