The Kids Are Worth It
The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish
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What does it mean to hold kids accountable and help them own their decisions ? 09:43

First, it is important to distinguish between choices and decisions. A child does not get to decide if they want to go to bed or not, but perhaps they have the choice to pick which pajamas they would like to wear. Age appropriate and ability appropriate behaviors and choices are important to keep in mind. Additionally, increasing responsibilities and decision-making as a child grows older helps them advance in independence.


What should a child learn regarding mistakes ? 13:07

Own it, fix it, learn from it, and move on.


How should mischief be handled ? 13:31

Show the child what they have done wrong, give them ownership of the problem, and give them ways to solve it with their dignity intact.


How should mayhem-type behavior be handled ? 13:40

Utilize 3 "R's" of restorative practice: restitution, resolution, and reconciliation. A child must own and fix what they did, determine how they will keep it from happening again, and find a way to heal with the person that has been harmed.


How should parents handle conflict with siblings ? 23:38

Conflict is inevitable, violence is not. A parent's job is to teach kids to handle conflict non-violently. Help kids come up with a peaceful plan to resolve the conflict.


How can situations that are mean and cruel be dealt with ? 34:58

The target must be safe, a witness must be safe, and then the child doing the mean and cruel activity must be dealt with even if that means delayed justice.


What tools can be provided to a child that is being called names ? 36:29

They should learn to stand strong with a non-passive posture and assertively name the cruel behavior they were the recipient of. They should then remove themselves from the situation.


What tools could parents use for putting their children to bed without incorporating threats or punishment ? 48:47

Routines are critical. When children are little, it is important to establish these. Always make bedtime a pleasant time.


How should a parent respond when a child says they are being bullied at school ? 54:20

A parent should stop everything they are doing and ask the child to talk to them about it and understand what occurred. Teachers can become involved in helping stop the behavior by changing routines or patterns in classroom procedures.


How should parents provide feedback for children ? 58:24

Remember the 3 "Cs" of feedback: compliments, comments, and constructive criticism.


What would age appropriate chores look like for children ? 01:16:37

Parents should keep in mind that the goal is always to increase responsibility and decision-making and reduce limits and boundaries. Chores may be more dependent on where a child is at developmentally vs. their age.


How can parents be responsible with children regarding social media ? 01:36:46

Parents should teach kids 3 things. First, be digitally savvy (starting from age 5), be civil, be safe. Through the early teen years, it is important to know usernames, passwords, etc. in order for parents to help their children. and are both great resources for parents.