Darius Monsef – Sniper Parent, Entrepreneur
2 Cent Dad Podcast
Darius Monsef (aka "bubs") joins the podcast today. I think that the way Darius would want to be described in this bio would be in the following order...
Lover of his wife (THE one).Lover of his children.Entrepreneur.CEO of Brave Care.
He is a very unique guy that has done a lot, including creating and driving, a real life Lightning McQueen car to visit kids at children's hospitals.
In this episode
- 01:41 - Who is Bubs Darius Monsef?
- 02:55 - Is Hawaii a good place to start a company?
- 11:10 - How do you help a kid that fears an activity to overcome that and get better?
- 16:30 - Is it better to let your kids roam free and have a childhood or to sign them up for a bunch of activities and have a robust schedule?
- 18:42 - Why did Bubs Darius Monsef and Co start Brave Care?
- 21:59 - Why do we need pediatric urgent cares all over the country?
- 24:02 - What is the ethos of the Brave Care ?
- 25:45 - How do you balance work and home life while doing a startup?
- 29:05 - How can you get sufficient rest in a family with young kids?
- 31:30 - Should you go to bed angry?
- 33:04 - Why might an entrepreneur hide his struggles from his family?
- 34:12 - What can a startup founder do to help with a depression?
- 35:07 - How can you model a successful happy family for your kids?
- 40:27 - How can I support my partner and my marriage while raising children?
- 41:17 - How can I make sure my partner knows that I love and adore them?
- 43:51 - How to find the best deal on flowers?
- 44:13 - How can I do nice things for my wife?
- 45:20 - Am I doing a good job as a partner and a parent?
Smash Notes summary for this episode
Who is Bubs Darius Monsef?
Bubs is currently the founder of Brave Care, and previously a founder of ColorLovers and CreativeMarkets. Bubs had spent some time being an entrepreneur and a farmer in Hawaii, and now he is residing in Portland, Oregon, with his three kids and his wife.
Is Hawaii a good place to start a company?
While living in a beautiful Hawaii, Darius realized that while there were many ways in which he was happy, he was also terribly unhappy because Hawaii was not a very conducive place for startups, especially the high-growth kind. The peer growth, access to resources, even decent internet access - some of the things just aren't there yet.
How do you help a kid that fears an activity to overcome that and get better?
Give your kid every opportunity to get to where she could be successful, if she wants to. Help them realize the potential and to see if they can get there, but don't push for it to the point of burnout.
Is it better to let your kids roam free and have a childhood or to sign them up for a bunch of activities and have a robust schedule?
We tend to try and improve on what we missed out on as children and to avoid what we disliked. It's a good argument, and sometimes it might best to let them have some freedom, and sometimes a scheduled activity can go a long way to help kids discover something new.
Why did Bubs Darius Monsef and Co start Brave Care?
There was a time when Darius had to take his kids to an ER a few weekends in a row, and in that process he learned about this new pediatric urgent care clinic that provided terrific experience, making kids and parents feel great regardless of the situation. Once he and the doctor connected, Bubs realized this was the way of the future and they partnered together to grow and to provide Brave care to kids in need.
Why do we need pediatric urgent cares all over the country?
Most things that happen to kids are normal and routine, for which they don't need to be at a hospital. Yet when kids are sick and cannot go to school, parents have to take time off, and it creates a whole cascading effect on the family. It would be really helpful if kids could get treated quickly at a place that is designed just for their needs.
Minor and non-serious issues could be treated remotely via telemedicine, thereby extending care to remote areas where care is not always available.
What is the ethos of the Brave Care ?
Kids need to challenge themselves to learn something new, like ride a bike, or climbing. Sometimes that means cuts and bruises, and sometimes those need to be treated by a doctor. Knowing that care is available to anyone, parents and kids could be more confident and willing to try new things.
How do you balance work and home life while doing a startup?
Simply because something worked for one person does not mean it would work for another, so you should take any advice with a grain of salt. Luck plays a huge role in startup success too, so you could be working just as hard but at the end it would not work out.
As far as kids are concerned, Bubs has previously explained that he loves spending time with them, but also admits that he was not able to really connect with his kids until they were past one years old. If you are a dad who feels the same, that's okay, you will spend more time with them once they are not little babies.
To make sure your marriage stays successful while with kids, it is important to recognize your partner and perhaps act less selfish, whether or not you feel like you deserve recognition for your valuable contributions to the family life too.
How can you get sufficient rest in a family with young kids?
If rest is important to you, then optimizing for maximum sleep could be a priority you set as a family. There is no point in both parents losing sleep, and sleeping in different bedrooms is a way to accomplish that.
Should you go to bed angry?
Yes, go to bed angry. It is very likely you are mad about something trivial and by getting sleep you will get over it and forget it. Also, most people are not good at communicating or receiving critical feedback, nevermind doing it under stress. Your point would be made and considered way better in the morning.
Why might an entrepreneur hide his struggles from his family?
Startups are hard and many of the problems are difficult. A founder might feel that by sharing feelings and anxieties they are just extending their fear and anxiety onto their partner. There is nothing the other person can do in order to help the situation, so it is easier to keep the feelings locked up.
What can a startup founder do to help with a depression?
This might be hard to believe, but sometimes you might be stuck with a problem that you cannot solve, and only if you take a break and step back will you realize that there is no problem at all. Entrepreneurs love to solve problems but sometimes there is nothing to solve; all you need is to process the emotions and to let yourself recover.
How can you model a successful happy family for your kids?
Modeling happy family does not guarantee that your kids will end up with one. Best you can do is to work towards what you want the most from your relationship and to let the rest take care of itself.
How can I support my partner and my marriage while raising children?
If life feels difficult right now, that's because it is. Raising kids is hard and it is important that you find the time to connect with your partner, and for both of you to get alone time to relax and recharge. Talk to each other about your struggles. If you can afford it, get a baby sitter, invite grandparents to help. Make time for yourselves to spend time together.
How can I make sure my partner knows that I love and adore them?
Instead of doing something nice on special days and holidays, show appreciation throughout the year and be a role model to other people. Be a great parent, and a great partner, and don't stop doing that. Your behavior will send positive vibes to other people and will encourage you to keep going.
How to find the best deal on flowers?
Buy the flowers tonight and then you won't have to spend the money on that one day when the flowers cost 10x their usual.
How can I do nice things for my wife?
Be in the habit of doing nice things. If you put exercise on a schedule, your muscles get stronger, and in much the same way if you constantly think of doing something nice for your wife or a partner, you will get better and better at it.
Am I doing a good job as a partner and a parent?
If you are questioning whether you are doing a good job, then you probably are. Being aware of the fact that you should be doing a good job and challenging yourself to be better, that already shows that you are heading in the right direction.