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Excuse My ADHD on Smash Notes

Excuse My ADHD podcast.

December 28, 2019

A chronicle of my daily struggles and attempts to navigate life one distraction at a time. Guests are invited to share their stories and struggles with ADHD. As I try different strategies to improve my day to day, I will be reaching out to experts for their advice and guidance on how to navigate life as an adult, a woman, a parent, with ADHD. These interviews will be the start of a series of episodes that will take you with me as I experience what utilizing these strategies does for me.

Episodes with Smash Notes

This episode is a description of my symptoms and how they affected my life and made me everything I am.  I talk about everything from elementary school multiplication, to high-school late nights, college, relationships and work.  They say to have ADHD you have to be able to demonstrate that symptoms have been there since childhood, check, and that it effects more than one area of your life, check, check, check.

Updated on August 29

Today's episode started out as a 5-10 minute check in on everyone that became a 20 minute Sunday drive through the country complete with rambling err rolling hills, speed bumps and babbling brooks, or just babble.  I have gone completely unscripted and un-edited per the advice of a friend....well mostly I broke down and edited a few breaths and pop sounds that I just couldn't help. Also, I don't think anyone says 'so' as much as I do.  Anyway, this episode is my way of saying "Hey how's it going, you doing ok?" and let you know what I have been up to. 

Here are some of the links I mentioned in the episode:
Heather Vickery: 
Wall of Awful:
DIY Mask: 

Beginner's Hair cutting video's: 

  1. Men's-

  2. Little Girl's-

Today's episode is more about how COVID-19 is affecting me and my life and my ADHD.  Lastly I want to talk about the things that are helping and what I am doing to help my self to not fall into the realm of what is feeling like a perpetual weekend of slacking off. What I really want to know is what are you doing to help yourself stay focused and to stay structured?

Don't get too excited i marked it explicit because I got just a little free with my cursing i just didn't want to get in trouble with anyone.  

I just want to start and say that I am sorry I flaked on you guys for the last episode but I am making it up to you now.  I am posting this episode tonight and another one in 2 days so Wednesday night.  

I wasn't going to and didn't really want to make an episode about COVID-19 aka: Corona Virus but how could I not? It is affecting every aspect of our lives right now. You can't turn on the tv, radio, internet, without seeing or hearing a story about it. Most conversations we have are consumed with how our lives are and will be changed because of this. that I want to talk about is how we are coping and how everything that is going on affects us well at least how it is affecting me. This is a strange new world for all of us and for those of us with ADHD, how the hell are we managing our symptoms right now??  

This episode is choc full of information.  I do a quick review of the difference between the Authorized Generic and Generic drugs then delve into the rabbit hole with questions like:

  • why should I care about the difference? 

  • how do I find who makes/sells the authorized generic?

  • how do I ask my doctor for the authorized generic?

  • how do I request approval from my insurance?

  • how do I find out if my pharmacy carries the authorized generic?

Check out the episode ADHD or not you will learn something about your prescriptions you probably didn't know. 

I am uploading the full show notes to my website because there are just so many links everything will be posted by Wednesday 3/11/2020.  

This is the first of a potentially 3 part episode (mostly because putting it all in one would bore you to death).  In part one I recap all of the medications I have tried, what they are, how they work, etc.  followed by the definitions of an Authorized Generic and Generic and yes they are different.  In the next episode I will tell you more about how these terms have proven to be very important when taking Adderall and more specifically Concerta.

In today’s episode I talk about how ADHD and overwhelm can wreak havoc on your life or really how it is wreaking havoc on mine.  It is the burning the candle on both ends, sensory overload, over stimulated, systematic shutdown of your brain that turns us into walking vegetables that can’t really function fully.  I also talk about how it can happen and some tips on how to get out of the shutdown.

In this episode I speak with Julie who is a therapist for trauma and pain but has also experienced it herself.  With this unique perspective Julie helps her patients heal through understanding and compassion that only someone who has experienced trauma can.  Julie and I discuss how her experience affects her practice, what to look for when trying to find a trauma therapist and much more.  
About Julie and how to contact:

Instagram: julie_markowitz_therapy

FB: julie markowitz, lmsw



Imposter Syndrome:

Peter A Levine and Somatic Experiencing

List of Psychoanalytic centers in the US:

Psychology terms discussed:

Pathology as it applies to Psychology:  

pa·thol·o·gy  /pəˈTHäləjē/

noun: 1. the scientific study of functional and structural changes involved in physical and mental disorders and diseases. 2. more broadly, any departure from what is considered healthy or adaptive. —pathological adj. —pathologist n.

Personality pathology refers to enduring patterns of cognition, emotion, and behavior that negatively affect a person's adaptation. In psychiatry and clinical psychology, it is characterized by adaptive inflexibility, vicious cycles of maladaptive behavior, and emotional instability under stress.

Dissociation and dissociative disorders: 

Dissociation is a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity. Dissociative disorders include dissociative amnesia, dissociative fugue, depersonalization disorder and dissociative identity disorder.

People who experience a traumatic event will often have some degree of dissociation during the event itself or in the following hours, days or weeks. For example, the event seems ‘unreal’ or the person feels detached from what’s going on around them as if watching the events on television. In most cases, the dissociation resolves without the need for treatment.

Michelle E Dickinson is a key note speaker, author, and mental health advocate.  Michelle and I talk about how and when to approach a supervisor about your ADHD or other mental health issues.  Some key points are 1.) having a trusting relationship with your supervisor, 2.) not playing the victim and taking ownership, 3.) come to the meeting with specifics as to what you need and how it can improve your work productivity.  

As we all make our resolutions for 2020 we also reflect back on 2019 and what we have or have not done from our previous resolutions.  This can leave us depressed or discouraged.  What we really need to do is look at all of the things we did that we didn't put on that list and just keep swimming as Dory says.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Holiday season and for me I celebrate Christmas.  I love snow, the decorations, the singing, the smells, the reminder of why and who we are celebrating, the generous spirit, time with family and friends (Chandra if you are listening, we have to seriously make plans girl! It has been too long) This holiday season we love so much comes with a dark side as well though one filled with too many obligations and not enough time, over stimulation, over whelm, too many gifts to buy and too much pressure to get the perfect one.  With ADHD this is just one step away from a disaster.  Stress amplifies the symptoms makes them harder for us to manage so welcome as I take you through my Nightmare.       

This episode is simply me giving thanks to the good things about ADHD and to those who have made it possible for me to be here and for those who have shown their support.  

Did you know that something as simple as being grateful could actually change your brain?  Neither did I.  Listen as I speak to Heather Vickery author of Gratitude Journal: Shift Your Focus the new book Grow Grateful: A Gratitude Family for Kids and Families, and the executive producer and host of The Brave Files Podcast to discover how living with gratitude can change your brain and how you look at the world.


Guest information:


A gifted coaching session for my listeners!!! DO THIS IT’s FREE!!! E-Mail mention my podcast ExcuseMyADHD.

A gifted coaching session for my listeners!!! DO THIS IT’s FREE!!! mention my podcast ExcuseMyADHD.


Links and App Mentions:

How Gratitude Actually Changes Your Brain and is Good for Business gratitude-it's good for you and profits! Read more about Martin Seligman and the research Heather mentioned in the episode.

CommitTo3 by Oceanhouse Media, Inc. a growth and productivity tool great for accountability

To follow last weeks episode about my grief after diagnosis Shelby Forsythia and I discuss her book Permission to Grieve and what that means.  Grief affects us all in different ways and in different times of our lives.  We need to stop fearing the grief and learn to accept and live with it as a part of what makes us who we are.  

Shelby Forsythia is the author of Permission to Grieve and podcast host of Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss. After the unexpected death of her mother in 2013, she became a “student of grief” and set out on a lifetime mission to explore the oft-misunderstood human experience of loss. Through her book, weekly podcasts, and one-on-one grief guidance, she helps grieving people find direction, get support, and cultivate radical self-compassion after devastating loss.

Shelby is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Reiki Level II Practitioner, and Intuitive Grief Guide. Her work has been featured on Huffington Post, Bustle, and Optimal Living Daily. She currently lives in Chicago.

You can find out more about Shelby and her work at


When you get diagnosed later in life or at least later than most people with ADHD how it makes you feel and how it affects your life is profoundly different then someone diagnosed as a child and treated or even a teenager or while in college.  It is still early enough to make changes and corrections to your path because you haven't really started it yet.  For me and I am guessing others you have this moment where everything just finally clicks like the world was always slightly tilted but now it's upright. Your life begins to make sense and the way you move through life and your relationships all start to make sense.  You start to make sense of all of the struggles you dealt with and are going through.  After that then you realize you are now this new person going on a new path you didn't plan or see coming and everything is changing. This is where for me grief started to come into play.  You see I thought things were one way but they weren't and now I am dealing with that the best way I can.  

FDA Malinkrodt Methyphenidate Info

Member of Scottish Parliament Daniel Johnson is a husband, father, and former business owner.  Mr. Johnson was diagnosed with ADHD almost 6 years ago after his wife brought the subject up.  He discusses how those with inattentive type that have flown under the radar for years begin to almost hit a crisis point once the structures of being at home and in school are no longer there.  As we get older, we begin our careers and start families with all of that comes stress which brings the symptoms more to the forefront.  Our forgetfulness, being so called ‘lazy’, disorganization, among the many other symptoms.  We talk about his route to diagnosis both with his experience with his private GP and now in the NHS system.  This leads to discussion of the lack of resources and the barriers to treatment especially in the more northern sections of Scotland.  Daniel is an advocate for medication as a first step alongside the skills for managing, he has a statement he references often “pills and skills” when discussing the need for combination treatments for ADHD.  Some of the other topics we cover are the disparities in gender, lack of education on ADHD for teachers and physicians for identifying/working with ADHD, need for mental health screening in prisons, and the stigma around medication. 
For full show notes with links to all of the resources I pulled visit my website

Article in learning disabilities today:

Link to MSP Daniel Johnson’s speech to Parliament June 5 2018:

Full debate Portrayal of ADHD Treatment:

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a symptom of ADHD that most of us have but no one really talks about.  In this episode I talk about what RSD is and how it affects us and give examples from my life and how it has affected me. The emotions come hard and fast and can feel like a landslide.

I will wait is about well waiting.  In this episode I talk about all of the waiting involved with pharmacogenomic testing as well as what happened when I received my results and where I went from there.

In this episode I will explain a little bit about why I am doing this and why you should listen. I will also cover the what, a description of the layout and format you can expect. Enjoy!

"When the devil is on your back you have to Shake him off" Florence and the Machine 'Shake it out'

In this episode I discuss how I was diagnosed with ADHD from online doctors, to nightmare Psychiatrist reviews, Primary Care Physician, and finally a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.