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Back to How to ask for help -- and get a "yes" | Heidi Grant, with Heidi Grant.

What Does Heidi Grant Say Is the Reality of Modern Work and Life?

Social psychologist Heidi Grant says on TED Talks Daily that asking for help feels vulnerable, and she knows it is not easy. The reality of modern work and modern life, she says, is that nobody does it alone and nobody succeeds in a vacuum. More than ever, people have to rely on other people's support and collaboration. Her instruction is to ask out loud when you need help, and to ask in a way that raises the chance of a yes and makes the helper feel good about saying it. She says both people deserve that. The talk's close is that this is how hard stretches actually get crossed.

Transcript

How to ask for help -- and get a "yes" | Heidi Grant ·

TED Talks Daily

More from this episode

  1. Why Is It So Difficult to Ask for HelpEven though it’s foolish for us to be afraid to admit that we need help from a loved one, we always feel embarrassed and uncomfortable when we ask for help.
  2. What Is the Illusion of TransparencyIt’s the mistaken belief that our thoughts, feelings, and needs are obvious to other people. This isn’t true, but we believe it.
  3. What Are Helpful Things to Do When Asking for HelpThere are four things to keep in mind. When you ask for help, be extremely specific about the help you want and why.
  4. Is It Better to Ask in Person for HelpYes, it is better than email or text requests. In person requests for help are 30 times more likely to get a “yes” than a request made by email.
  5. What Is Rewarding About HelpingWhen helpers knows that their help had an impact on the person asking for help.

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