The Startup Chat with Steli and Hiten on Smash Notes

The Startup Chat with Steli and Hiten podcast.

December 31, 2019

Unfiltered insights and actionable advice straight from the trenches of startup and business life. The show hosts, Steli Efti and Hiten Shah, are both serial entrepreneurs who have founded multi-million dollar SaaS startups. Being busy CEOs of fast-growing companies, they know the value of your time and make sure you get the most out of each 22 minute episode. Tune in for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

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Today on The Startup Chat, Steli and Hiten talk about anger and how to deal with it at work and in your personal life.

Being angry is an extremely powerful emotion. If you’re somebody that gets angry easily, you run the risk of being avoided by the people you love and work with. On the flip side, if you’re someone that bottles up your anger, you risk becoming a pressure cooker that will inevitably explode, which could cause you to behave in a way that you regret later.

In this episode, Steli and Hiten share some insights on what anger is, reasons why people get angry and how to manage it if you do so that you don’t act in a way you regret later.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:01 - About today’s topic.

00:34 - Why we talk about this topic today

00:50 - Hiten talks about his background and how he dealt with anger as a child.

02:30 - Steli also talks about his upbringing.

05:53 - How to move from one emotion to another in small steps.

08:15 – Reasons why people get angry.

09:55 – The biggest lesson Hiten has learned around anger.

11:45 – Steli gives an example of how helplessness gets him angry.

10:52 – Steli talks about what he has learned on how to deal with anger.

16:54 – Hiten talks about how he deals with resentment.

19:07 – Steli gives some tips on how to deal with anger.


Anger is a way that most people deal with the emotional feeling of helplessness.

Resentment is like taking small sips of poison.

I’d much rather be angry than depressed.


Steli: Hey everybody, this is Steli.



Hiten: And this Hiten. And today on The Startup Chat, we wanted to talk about a topic we haven't talked about probably 'cause neither of us gets too angry very often. I think there's reasons why. I'm sure both of us used to get angry, and so today I was kind of inspired to talk about anger just 'cause it's something I've been thinking about actually quite a bit. One of the reasons I've been thinking about it, on my end, is 'cause I'm the type of person that doesn't really get angry. I had a very calm presence across the board in my family growing up, even when I did something really horrible, which I've done some things that are ... Most parents would be yelling. My dad would not yell, and he'd give me more of this look and ... It's not even a look really. It's just a feeling I got from him, like he was disappointed in me. I still kept getting in trouble. I probably got in trouble ... Like big trouble. So, anyways, I never understood anger until very recently in that way, except obviously people would get angry around me in terms of like as I was growing up in college and other things. I would see their anger. I knew people that were hotheads, as you call it, or had a temper. So, for me, I'll start out by saying that I didn't realize I actually do get angry. I do one thing that I think I've been unlearning, and the one thing I do is I actually suppress it and then it comes out like weeks later or months later or hours later, and I think my anger or my frustration ... It comes out not as anger, but as frustration or I say something kind of mean to somebody, but not knowing that it was related to something a long time ago or hours ago or days ago or months ago that I had suppressed. So, to me, this is just a fascinating topic because everybody gets angry, and I think we might not be realizing it. And then there's also the kind of anger where you're usually angry at another person, and that's obviously not healthy. So, I just wanted to talk about it with you 'cause I'm sure you've got some really good thoughts on this.



Steli: Yeah. I love the topic. It's interesting because I had been thinking about this lately, but with a totally different ... From a different perspective. But I never ...

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