How Does Michael Lewis Keep His Daughter Present?

Michael Lewis says the way to make something useful of his daughter's death is to keep her present. Keeping her present is the opposite of moving on or getting through grief. She is still part of his life.

It took a while to click in as a father: her coach, then her consultant and helpmate when she was 19 and a college softball player, then her student. He is still learning from her. She had more courage than he did. She was extremely brave, morally brave and physically brave, and she gives him nerve. He talks about her all the time, is not shy about the subject, and has written about her. Lewis thinks a lot of people would benefit from feeling liberated from the rules of grief. People are uncomfortable around someone who has lost a child. They do not want the parent too sad or too traumatized. After a while the parent is supposed to have gotten over the loss. They do not want the parent too happy either, because happiness makes them uncomfortable. The parent is expected to play a certain role. The play tries to liberate the audience from the role so they can experience an awful, traumatic loss in an original way, put their own words to it, and come to terms with it differently.

He loved her. She was brave and she was loved. He pieced his own understanding into a piece of writing called How to Be Lucky.