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The Steli Efti Podcast on Smash Notes

The Steli Efti Podcast podcast.

May 18, 2020

The (strictly no-business) podcast that shall never become yet another to-do item in a busy CEOs life. A storytelling playground and save space for irresponsible experimentation. We willll talk martial arts, ponder the nature of life, have conversations with weirdos and misfits, shamelessly fail in public, and share what we learn along the way.



Episodes with Smash Notes

There's a German word I really love: Bewunderung. It's commonly translate as 'admiration', but that doesn't quite capture the full meaning of the word. In this episode, I talk about the art of keeping and cultivating a sense of wonder about life, and the people in your life. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep116/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

I've now been studying Internal Family Systems (IFS) for a long time, and it's taught me so much about myself that I decided to take an online course on it. But I don't really want to learn more about IFS to know IFS. I want to learn more about IFS so I can use it for my own inner work. And so rather than mastering the theory of more aspects of IFS, I decided to instead really focus on applying what I learned to myself, and just do one exercise I found particularly helpful again and again—and it led to some surprising discoveries about myself.  Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep115/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com https://twitter.com/steli https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/

A lot of spiritual practices try to teach you to become something or someone else, achieve a certain state of being. But you don't need that. Inner work is not about getting to some magical place where everything will be different. It's about living your own truth. You already are what you need to become. You already know what you need to know. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep114/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

We chat about a surreal short story by Michael Ende named "Einer langen Reise Ziel" (Destination of a Long Journey). It's the first story in his collection of short stories called Das Gefängnis der Freiheit (Prison of Freedom), and how "search and you shall find" might sometimes mean something very different from what we commonly assume. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep113/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

I won't even try to describe what this episode is about.  Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep112/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

I've always been a very cerebral person, relying primarily on my intellect to achieve my goals and solve problems I encounter. For a very long time, I equated the mind with myself. I viewed the body as a vehicle that just carries my mind. But as I started getting more in touch with my feelings, I also started paying more attention to my body—and began to realize that it's so much more than just a vehicle. The body has it's own wisdom. Recently I decided to pay more attention to what my body tells me—and soon caught my mind pretending to be my body.  When you bring mind, body, and soul in harmony, when you connect the different parts within you, then you also become whole and feel more connected with everything around you.  Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/ep111/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

I've often used the words presence and awareness interchangeably—but they're really not. They're two distinctly different things, and in this episode, I discuss the difference, and talk about my recent experiments with awareness. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/presence-vs-awareness/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

Here's a conversation we've had about Michael Ende, Author of The Neverending Story, Momo, and other great books. We then touched on the beauty of poetry and song lyrics, going on awareness walks, having 1-on-1's with my sons, how interpreting my mother's dream put my patience to the test, the difference between patience and persistence, turtles, being time-poor or time-rich, having a Momo moment, eating mindfully, reclaiming lost phone time, my new routine of doing nothing for 30 minutes in the morning, having richer experiences simply by being more aware, the hidden costs of multi-tasking, the power of doing 1 thing wholy, and how we can let random little items determine our path in life if we lack awareness. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/iwp109/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

How do you design your optimal morning? Every night as we sleep and dream, we enter a profoundly altered state of consciousness, we process and integrate our experiences of the day. Rather than immediately jumping into tackling tasks for the day, or distracting yourself with social media, build a set of morning rituals that become your transition from being asleep to being awake.  Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/magic-mornings/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

Apotomos is a Greek word that describes a person who always appears calm, keeps everything bottled up inside, and then at some point, when they can't take it anymore, they suddenly erupt like a vulcano in anger. One of my brothers is that kind of person. Very giving, very generous, gladly sacrificing his time or energy. Until eventually he realizes that the other person is not so much appreciating all these sacrifices, but rather expects them, and typically is unwilling to do the same for him. In this episode, I talk about this dynamic, unspoken expectations, what to do when we realize we're living out the same pattern in our relationships again and again, and that what a person learns is much more dependant on the student than the teacher. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/giving-and-taking-in-relationships/ Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

It's so easy to lose yourself in all the things you "should be doing". It's so easy to come up with an endless list of things that would be good for your career, your wealth, your well-being. But if you do all these things, more often than not you'll end up climbing a ladder that leads you to the wrong place. There's a better way of choosing what you do: Do more of what gives you energy. Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/should-you-do-x/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/ 

What you most reject is what holds the greatest potential for growth. Whether it's a feeling you don't want to feel, a person with whom you have a challenging relationship—it's typically what you want to avoid that reveals your deep truths. Which is one of the reasons why I try to embrace life's perfect imperfections and practice doing my inner work. When I wake up feeling down for no good reason at all, and nothing that I do gets me out of that funky state? Not the yoga, not the meditation, not the espresso, not going for a walk, not listening to music, not a conversation with a good friend. Rather than trying to not feel that feeling, or to "get over it", I try to embrace it. Work with it. Listen to what it has to teach me, and try to find my way of flowing in the stream of life.  Shownotes: https://steliefti.com/lifes-perfect-imperfection/  Connect with me: https://steliefti.com  https://twitter.com/steli  https://www.linkedin.com/in/steliefti/