Michelle Obama

She says that a lot of her self-talk has changed because she was meaner to herself in her 20s. Rather than enjoying her accomplishment, she was a lot harder on herself and didn’t feel good about them.

Kathryn was inspired by Michelle Obama’s book relating to her own self-talks. Her takeaway from the book started with the question, “Why not me?” It was easier to shift her self-talk to this perspective as a way to feel good about the things that she did. Overall, she wants to be a better version of herself.

Another change was that her 17-year-old nephew committed suicide. Because he suffered so greatly, Kathryn decided to stop this vicious cycle of talking herself down so her loved ones did

Ultimately, it is what citizens must do. Regardless of beliefs, the number of citizens voting is woefully small. The next generation must be educated on the importance of decision making.

Michelle Obama tells Conan O'Brien that public office is an honor and also a hard, thankless government job, not a prize on a reality show. She compares the way people talk about the presidency to handing someone the rose on The Bachelor. Campaigning for Hillary Clinton, she wanted voters to hear that the job is serious. It takes a knowledge of history, patience, reading, the ability to handle stress, and care with words, because those words can start wars and shift markets. The Supreme Court fight during their years was dicey, she says, and Barack Obama made a job that is not easy look easy. Voters have to pick people who are ready, passionate, and skilled.

Michelle Obama tells Conan O'Brien that parenting in the White House meant a cocoon of normalcy. A parent-teacher conference could arrive with a 20-car motorcade, police telling a teacher to move, and people on the roofs. For eight years she and Barack answered the way a parent does when a toddler bumps their head: it's okay, go to school, you are safe. They still went to the conferences and the games and hosted sleepovers at the White House. Michelle praises the girls' poise, grace, and resilience. They met the pope and the queen, and they lost ordinary childhood, including Malia being recognized by fifth graders in a museum on a class trip.

When facing hurts and disappointments, it is not the job of the President and First Lady to be psychoanalyzed and in need of immense support. Rather, they are "parents" to the nation and have responsibilities that must be addressed.

Michelle Obama tells Conan O'Brien that famous people cover sensitivity by trading stories for stats. In Los Angeles the question is what you drive, a Lexus or a Tesla, and elsewhere it is what school you attended or what title you hold. None of that, she says, tells you who someone is. The telling memories are smaller: what you watched as a child, what your grandfather was like, the relative who frustrated you, when you first fell. She remembers not being able to spell the word white in kindergarten, and a friend asking why she talked like a white girl, a line people still say. Those stories show the insecurity public life trains people to leave out.

Michelle Obama tells Conan O'Brien that famous people look untouched by hardship because they are taught to hide it. She walks him from a second-floor apartment on Euclid Avenue on the South Side of Chicago to the White House, and through the 1970s shows she loved: Mary Tyler Moore, who had a job and a voice and did not go home to cook, Carol Burnett, and Laura Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show, who wore pants, danced, and was as funny as Dick Van Dyke. They pretend they were supposed to be there. She calls that faking an untouchable, already-finished self, and says it cheats kids who need to see the stumbles so they do not quit.