Full Transcript for Giggling about jet lag, dolphins, and laxatives

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That's b -o -m -b -a -s dot com slash giggly squad, code giggly squad at checkout. I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of. Like, so many people have my location. And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

And if your friend doesn't text you, oh, you got home, you're calling the FBI. Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening? Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

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Sup, Gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi -Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my guava gigglers. I'm currently in Singapore. And I'm currently smack dab in the middle of my Sunday night routine. And I don't mean to be a walking Daphne ad. But my Daphne robe and Daphne hair thing. Like, I created it for myself. I honestly don't care if anyone buys it. This is for my own Sunday routine.

So envious of you. Having a routine. Because I didn't know jet lag could hit this hard. Yeah, you were really... No, I'm a fool. It took you out. I'm a fool. I'm a cocky, delusional asshole. Because I'm like... Yeah, I'm going to fly 22 hours and I'll be fucking fine. You were like, jet lag is for actual losers. It's mental. Yeah. Well, first of all, I did love the flight, by the way.

We get there. Slept eight hours immediately. Because it was like a midnight flight. Land. And then like fuck around for five hours. I watched every episode of Love is Blind. Boston? Boston. Dude. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I actually really like one of the guys. Can I guess which one you like? Like as a person, like you think he's a good guy? Yes.

Cam? Yes. Yeah, the sweet, sweet Cam and... And then there's one that people think is a good guy. But they... No. I forgot her handle. This girl was like, Love is Blind Boston is just men beard fishing everyone. And she took all the beards off the guys. And it was truly abrasive. Scary. Like someone needs to get reported. Some are hiding no chin.

Some are hiding too much chin. There's a lot going on. One girl was like, I love my career. And the guy was like, first to your children or second to your children? Like your unborn children? Like what would you do? I'm like, oh my God. Right after she had said to him, like, what are you passionate about? And he was like, my career. Then he said to her, what are you passionate about? And she's like, my career.

And he's like, do you even love babies? Have you ever loved a baby? He was like, red flag. Serious red flag. Red flag. But him and her, Michaela, the Italian one who I followed on Instagram, the one who did that whole speech about the oven cig. And she's like, Christmas night. I just want to be smoking an oven cig. And I do it. It brings home a date.

And I'm like, fuck. Fuck. She got a date. Like I thought her scenarios. I'm like, this is my kind of girl. I also love making up the most outlandish scenarios in 10 years from now. I love her imagination. She's amazing. My thing with the show is I'm all for it until they're like, and now you have to propose because I'm like, guys. Did you get to the part where the guy with the glasses who is a murderer was fighting on the phone? Oh, we've all been there.

We all dated that guy that some minor inconvenience happens and he's burning down the apartment and you're like, I'm going to take a walk around the block. I actually got really triggered when he was like, but we have good conversation. We have a really good relationship. Don't we tell everyone we have a really good relationship? I was like, oh my God.

She didn't even bring up him yelling at customer service. She brought up a whole nother scenario that we missed because they lost the luggage. And he was like, I wasn't yelling. And I'm like, that's what men say when they were assholes. Yeah. They want to be like, but I didn't yell. And I'm like, you were strongly yelling. You had a strongly worded sentence.

He's probably the scariest guy they have on there. And for all the girls who were judging her for staying with him, even though he doesn't believe in anything she believes in and is like insane.

She just wanted love. People will hate her harder for staying than him being a psycho. I also think, though, like Boston people are so inherently funny because they're smart. They're quick. And they're just like Irish Italian immigrants with the funniest families. Yeah. No, it's a great season. And then Aneha, who's like, when my parents find out you're white, they're never gonna speak to me again.

And he's like, why was this not brought up? But I guess people are saying she didn't think he was white in the pod. She's also hilarious without trying to be. Well, she does baby voice in the most condescending way, which I respect. She's like, and now we don't have any more family. So are you staying? He's like, wait, this is a really big problem.

She's like, is it? I don't know. Also, if I'm 35, and I like just I have such a shorter attention span or when it comes to like, love and believing in love. When the second I see them have a stupid fight, I'm like, that's not your person. We're like in my 20s. I'm like, they're working it out. Now I'm like, I saw one fight. I'm like, that's not your person.

Well, if you're a man and you're over the age of 35, and you're still like,

I don't know, worried about something that happened to you in high school, I'm like, shut up, like, get over it, you know, it's because we've seen so much smoke my oven sig. But like the some of the back and forth, I'm also like, it's totally okay to fight. But it's like how these people are fighting. The truth is, is a lot of people when you get down to like the two people you've chemistry with in the pod, it really is a 50 50 chance.

Like there isn't one answer. And I can't wait for the people to come back to see who I can't wait. The next string of episodes is gonna be amazing.

It's crazy. So anyway, I watched that. What was like the food on the flight? Oh, okay. So because you're on there a full day, like what? How? How? How often are they feeding you? Because you need to be fed every two hours. When I got on the flight in America. It's midnight, but they're serving breakfast because they're doing Dubai time. Because it was Emirates.

Okay, so I was like, look, I'm down for breakfast at any time. You're like, who am I to fight with an omelet? Yeah. Bring it here. So I got the pancakes because I'm on vacation and I'm party. I party with food. I'm not partying with dancing. I'm not partying with drinking. I'm partying with food. Speaking of I'm actually gonna order a taco.

I actually already have it set up in my cart. I just need to press go. I love how you're doing a taco, a side of a taco. So I got the pancakes passed out. Then when we landed, what it it's all kind of a blur, but we get to Dubai. And that was kind of iconic because I've never been to the Middle East. And I mean, we just were in the lounge for like three hours, but they had Dubai chocolate.

It was pretty authentic. I mean, it's just chocolate there. No, I'm just kidding.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh God. Also one thing about that men don't like to do. Like when I was in the airport, I was like, I want to walk through all the gift shops and like all the random shops. Like I just want to browse. And Des was like, why? And I'm like, I don't know. That's just a hobby. Like, obviously I want to look at every little trinket and every little snack that I've never seen before.

Also, you were just sitting for a full day. You probably needed to like stretch your legs. I need some stimulation. Exactly. Also, I didn't even try to do the time change. I just was like, I've lost all my family and friends. I'm just. You're like, I'm a time traveler. And like, I can't. I want to be like, Paige, this is Hannah from the future.

That's how I find that Paige, this is Hannah from tomorrow. It's going to be okay. Okay. Well, I, I truly felt like you went to space because I was like down here on earth. So much is happening. I'm like, I have so many things I need to laugh with you about. I need you to respond immediately. I didn't have internet for the 17 hour flight to Dubai.

So then we land and Des is like, have you seen this? And I was like, I sent so many screenshots. screenshots. I'm actually, I inundated you with screenshots. I go, and then this person said this, and then they responded back. It was amazing. So I texted you and I was like, give me the tea. Then you text me all the good stuff. And then I get on the next flight to go to Singapore, which is eight hours.

So then I look at my phone and you're like, are you alive? And I'm like, sorry, I asked you for the best tea of my life. And then I died. Died. So we land. And at this point, like, you don't even know, is it morning, is it night, whatever. Yeah. But it was 2pm. And Des was like, we cannot go to sleep. We just have to keep going. So we walked around.

I tricked him into going to a cat cafe. Because I was like, I have to meet Singaporean cats. Like, see if they sit. I've never met a cat from Singapore before.

I don't know what language they speak. Primarily English, but they do speak Mandarin here too. So picture you walking in. Hi, Hannah, America. Hi. United States, Hannah. Yeah. I also fully tricked him because sometimes, you know, when one of the people get control of like the Google Maps. Yeah. And you're like, I'm directing us. He's like, where are you taking me? I'm like, somewhere fun.

Of course, we get there. And you have to walk up like eight flights of stairs. And I'm like, oh, no, this is how it ends the first day in Singapore. And it was the cutest cat cafe.

But I reserved dinner, right? And I was like, I want when we land to go to like a really nice restaurant. So I found like a Michelin star tasting menu. So we get there at like 6pm. And the second we sit down, we realize Michelin star. That's like eight hours, isn't it? Paige? Yeah. We sat down. By the way, the ambiance was peaceful. It was dark.

Oh, you're getting sleepy. There was it was almost like mandolin spa. A lot of music. So I look up. They put magnesium like in the air. They speak like this whenever they come by. Hello. Can we help you with any? Would you like some water or tea? When I tell you they ASMR you.

So I see there's like nine courses. It's courses. Oh, my God. But I'm like, sometimes they kind of just it's it's it's fast. You know, it's fast. It's you know, they're like, let's let's keep it going. They're rolling it up. They're shoving it out. It's quick. Yeah.

So they start with like a bread that's not on the menu. So I'm like, okay, I guess it's 10. And because I'm like, which one is this? And they're like, this is off menu. And I was like, Oh, no. Perfect. So I like don't finish my bread because I'm like, I have a whole year ahead of me. I can't use this. I want to fill up on bread. Yeah, exactly.

But they start taking everyone else's bread away. And they like don't take our table. And then Des realizes like they're mad that I didn't finish my bread. And then so we get behind like everyone else is like they got the first course, the second course, we're sitting there with the bread. Finally, a guy comes up to me goes, is there something wrong with the bread, ma 'am? And I was like, Oh, like, no, I love bread.

I just we just landed and I I'm a little backed up. I don't want to clog myself. And he's like, Oh, like, listen, the American gut microbiome. It's not great. If I shove all this bread down. I'll pass out. I'll go right to sleep at this table. Doesn't I look banter is our best thing like talking to each other is where we thrive? Yeah, this is the first time ever in our relationship.

Mid sentence. I'm like, I need to take a SRP, I'm so scared right now if he sleeps past 8am I'm like, call the police so I told him, I said, look, because I was facing the restaurant and he was facing me I was like, you can sleep in between courses, I'll wake you up when they come because mind you, we're two hours in at this point and we're only halfway through the menu why didn't you just get up and leave? because it took me three weeks to get this reservation oh my god and it's spectacular, like it is a spectacular meal but we are you're losing life it felt like I was underwater you felt like you were getting tortured it was a literal no, sleep deprivation is torture it

was a torture chamber of incredible flavors

like I was like, oh, the acidity of that mushroom was spectacular but I'm dying you're like, that did just explode in my mouth but I am going to pass away I'm getting dizzy it was four hours you know, whenever something like that happens to me I just immediately start crying because I think I'm gonna die I'm like, no one in the history of life has ever stayed awake this long I'm gonna die also, when I landed I like I had the worst bloat of my life yeah, I can't imagine so I'm like, beyond bloated did you bring your compression socks? yes, I wore my compression socks but like, I feel like your body's not prepared for this no so I'm bloated I'm stuffing like, the most

random different, incredible, impeccable flavors in my mouth and we're getting you know, they come and they give the story of like, how the fish was killed they were like, this fish was killed innocently from the back of the head and you could see it coming it was with its family it was happy before it all went awry there was no blood they're British in Singapore?

actually, everyone speaks English in Singapore really? yeah, because it's like a combination of like Malaysian, Chinese, Singaporean anyway, regardless we survived the dinner how many hours? it was a four hour dinner and you texted me into hour what? and were like, I'm not gonna make it

you were like, I'm going down you've got ten minutes to respond I was like, oh my god I'm not prepared I'm like, there's so much I wanna say we have to record in the morning but then, I had a whole next day so we woke up and I'm eating everything we had this buffet and I'm like, I'm trying everything so I'm eating curry for breakfast I'm eating noodles for breakfast I'm eating blue jasmine rice I ate everything they're known for this like chicken rice dish we go to some like small market we get it we're shopping like on the street I heard like their street food is insane yeah it's like there's like Michelin star street vendors so I'm living my best fucking life eating

everything but then I start getting I hate to be predictable on this pod yeah but your stomach starts to feel a little funky I don't have trouble going to the bathroom that's never been my problem ever in my life people warned me that this is a thing that can happen especially when you're layering the most insane flavors that you've ever had in your life so I was like Daz, I haven't gone to the bathroom since like the day before we left so you're three days you're four okay and we're getting ready to go to dinner and I'm like I can't butt in my pants and then I like can't wear a dress because and then I was like wait do I just pretend I'm pregnant like it was at the point

where I'm like do I just go out and like put my little left hand under my stomach and say it's a boy

so Daz is like dying laughing but like it's painful like it's like hard yeah and I'm like no position is right and I go we have to go to the pharmacy let me just say right before I texted you I threw a laxative into my mouth mm -hmm texted Paige see you in the morning and I passed out oh interesting have you ever taken a laxative before I have but not before bed so I took Dulcalax mm -hmm and it says take it before bed mm -hmm in five or six hours the motion will happen in the ocean okay exactly five hours on the dot I felt like I was giving birth to Satan

Paige I was getting the worst cramps of my life yeah I can't imagine it's a pain level that I've never had before because this is layers of Michelin star meals yeah and non -Michelin star meals that are going through I should have told you to get some let me de -bloat I should have been taking it beforehand on the plane yeah it like contracts your organs and it like wasn't working long so short I started having a panic attack on the toilet in Singapore in the hotel room what time of day is it it's like the middle of the night and that's the question we all want answered it was it was 1am my time 1pm your time so you're like going on your mental health walk or whatever you

do around 1 I start like my hand started to go numb because I'm like freaking out that like I'm what are you nervous about that like I don't know my insides are trying to be on my outsides but they're not coming out and like my insides are like contorted like the pain it is so you to have a panic attack on the toilet because like it's not going the way you expect it like I know I'm like this happens to Paige when she has to perform in front of 4 ,000 girls this is happening to me when I just don't like the flow of me just saying that yeah but nothing was releasing like I was just being tortured I felt like someone was squeezing my insides and then I decide I'm like okay

I'm gonna faint on the toilet which is like you decided it you were like you know what let's take ourselves out of this let's just pass out and not deal with this it's really triggering it's super traumatic I'd rather not be here this is such a niche experience but when you're going through it there's nothing that feels better than lying down with your pants off on the cold bathroom floor no nothing nothing that was me in Italy I was like this is the best I've ever felt in my life so then I'm laughing because I'm like the poor gigglers like they just want us to go on one trip just one trip that doesn't involve like gastrointestinal drama every time I go on a trip and I

wonder how people backpack across the world I'm like surely you're having a bathroom experience every couple of days because like there's no way my body's just too sensitive

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I am my father's daughter, which is like, no matter how much my stomach's hurting, I'm not not eating. Yeah, see, that's where we're different. I can't even look at food when I have a stomach ache. I feel like it's not respectful to their culture to not try every single thing at the buffet. No, because in some other countries, it's better to not even go to dinner than to go and insult them.

And not eat. And get insulted. We're in America, they're like, throw it on the ground. I don't give a fuck. You know, it's really, it's awful. But other countries, they're like, no, this is sustenance. This is nutrients. And we're like, I don't care. It's, we made it in a lab. But then they're like, this was made with love. This isn't fucking America.

So I'm lying on the cold bathroom floor, fully having a panic attack. Where's Dez? So he's in the bedroom. And at that moment, I'm like, what if my husband comes in like right now? Just me lying with a big shirt, no pants on like a toddler. Just belly up. Belly up.

Because it's still, I'm literally, you know, when you see a toddler who has like a fat belly and no pants on. That was literally me because I'm so constipated. Like they're not fat, but you're like, why is their stomach so round? Why does that two -year -old have a beer belly? Yeah, why is that? Maybe it's like their organs are developing or something.

I don't know, but it's so cute. But it wasn't cute on me. Finally, my husband, I get back on the toilet and he knocks like, hey, are you okay in there? And I'm like, yeah, not really. And then I'm like, but go back to sleep. And he's like, I can't go back to sleep after you telling me that you're like having a panic attack. Leave me. Leave yourself.

Look away. This is marriage though. Like I feel like if we were first dating, I'd be like, help me. Like, yeah, like hold my hand. Now I'm like, let me deal with this. It's like, I don't need to deal with you also. No, literally. There's nothing better than when you're comfortable enough to be like, I'm dealing with a lot and adding you to this list.

I'll kill you. Like I'll literally kill you. Then at one point I'm like, do I go to the Singaporean hospital for the bit? One thing about me though, I'm not going to hospital. No. That could be how I go. But like some people are very easy to be like, just call 911 and let's, I'm not doing paperwork. I'm not. In another country. I'd rather book a flight home.

And I thought about it. I was like, would the gigglers be disappointed if I flew 22 hours to Singapore, got too constipated. Yeah. Poisoned myself with a laxative and said, get me back on the plane. No, I was this close in Italy to being like, I'm going home. Like if they said to me, I had to go to the hospital. I was like, I'm going home.

I'm not doing this. And I had a full day. I walked 10 ,000 steps. I saw all of Singapore. I had all the local, you know, food. And I met a ton of people. You walked 10 ,000 steps and it didn't churn anything in there? Paige. Something sick, something evil was happening inside me. Like demonic.

I really started walking like a pregnant woman. You know when your feet start going out and you're like flopping.

My algorithm is so crazy. I started getting TikToks for stretchy jeans for pregnant women.

Like how is the algorithm so good? But I knew I was okay because I was like farting. If you can't fart, like that's a bad sign. But the farts were- Oh, you like legitimately thought that something gastrointestinal was happening. Yeah. Like you had a blockage. Yeah. So they were like as long as you're not as you can fart, there's like something flowing.

But then the farts like weren't smelly. It was more like gasping of air. It was like-

You should have done that thing that they do to babies when they do like a bicycle with their legs and then like push down. So with laxatives, there's two options. You could take a suppository and you just put it up your ass and within 15 to 30 minutes you just explode. It's like a cartoon TNT. You were using your second hole.

You were embracing your second hole in Singapore. You're very crazy over there. I do my thing and then I'm just afraid it's going to come back in waves like throughout the night. Yeah. Because I'm like, I already haven't slept. This is, I actually was one of the darker moments in my life. Yeah. I'm almost around the corner with my Masseter Massacre and now this is happening.

But I actually had quite a peaceful sleep. Good. I'm still backed up, but I went to breakfast. Of course. I had some muesli. I asked for a coconut. They brought me a young coconut. What the hell is a young coconut? I don't know. I was like, do you guys have coconut water? I'm a little dehydrated. I had a little crazy night last night. And they were like, here's a young coconut.

I love that. When do you come home? How long are you there for? Well, this is the thing. You don't know what day or time. Des has a show tonight, apparently. Definitely, he says. And then we get on a flight for Vietnam. Right. And we stay there for two days. Then we get on a flight for Hong Kong. Oh, no. So you're like going back up in the air and like...

I'm so scared. Wait, Wait, you need to take some de -blow when you get on the plane? Just regular... Do you know what it reminded me of? Do you remember Kylie Jenner promoting tummy tea or something? Yeah, you would kill for a tummy tea. That's really just mint. Mint tea is basically that. I thought it was lax. Girls were out here just shitting themselves, being like, tummy tea, look how small my waist looks after I've shat myself and I'm so dehydrated from diarrhea.

I don't think there's laxatives in the tea, but maybe. So you never did a tummy tea back in the day? I never did a tummy tea, but I've done like a detox tea, like after you get a lymphatic, where it's just basically like... You love saying lymphatic. Lemon, ginger. Yeah. I'm in a spa, like I'm spying right now. I had an eventful weekend as well.

Well, you were living your like college football dreams? Well, Joe says, do you want to go to the game on Saturday? And I don't know why in my head I was like, yeah, I'll go to the basketball game. And he goes, no, football game. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why. Because someone was talking about the Knicks the day before.

And so I just like was like, oh, yeah, basketball started. Isn't it so funny? There's games everywhere you go. Like you can't get away from the game. No, I can't get away from sports. And so then I'm like, oh, okay, perfect. Miami colors are orange and turquoise. And I have this vintage turquoise dress that I've been like, I haven't worn in years.

It's perfect for the game. Joe goes, the game is Saturday morning. And I'm like, oh, like the NFL plays on Saturday mornings. And he's like, this is college. So now I'm like, okay, not only have I messed it up once, I've now messed it up twice. I have no outfit. Wait, because you can't wear turquoise vintage dress for the morning college game.

No, because their colors are not turquoise. Oh. Their colors are dark green and orange. Oh, orange. So I put on these like orange cute little shorts. Love my outfit. I crimp my hair because she's different in Miami. My second hole is popping off. My hair is crimped. College throwback. Yeah, I'm like, I'm going to college. I'm crimping my hair.

So I get there. I immediately have a hot dog. I post to the cheerleaders because I'm like, not only do they have a cheerleading team and a dance team, I'm sat. I'm sitting there and I hear someone say Paige. And so like I look over. Bethany Frankel. Why was she at the Miami football college game? Okay, but she said hi to me almost as if like, how dare I not tell her I was going to be there.

But we've never met before. But I got nervous. I got nervous. You were like, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you I was coming. I literally, she was like, what are you doing here? And I was like, I actually, I was last minute. I didn't know. I thought I was going to a basketball. You're like, I'm not avoiding you. I swear I'm not avoiding you.

So whatever. She sat next to me the whole time. We chatted. Oh my God. Her daughter is so cute and nice. And then someone comes up to me and was like, the cheerleading team would love to meet you. And I was like, I would love to meet the cheerleading team. You're like, I've been staring at them the whole time. I thought that's the only thing I've been watching.

I go down. I meet the girls. And then this guy walks over to me and he's like, do you want to go? Do you want to be on the Jumbotron? And I'm like, I've never been on a Jumbotron. And so I got nervous because I was like, wait, what do people actually do on a Jumbotron at a game? I didn't have a drink in my hand, so I couldn't like chug it and be fun.

I look at Joe and I'm like, what do I do? And he goes, just be yourself.

He's a stage mom. He goes, I don't know. You're a natural. Just like do whatever comes to your head. And so the camera guy was like, you can throw up like the symbol. And so I made it into a dance routine and I just like, that's what I did. Did he know how long your fingers were though? No, he didn't. He goes, it's going to be on you for five seconds.

In my head, I was like, thank God I didn't wear the turquoise dress. I would have been a laughing stock.

Well, I just think it's so funny with sports because you're like, yeah, I'm going to the college sports game. Then I go on Instagram. You're on the Jumbotron. You're dancing with the cheerleaders. I'm like, she played in the game. She's the quarterback. You're one of those people, like, even if you want to be in the background, like you stay quiet, you don't say anything, you don't do anything.

People still throw you to the front. Every time I go to a professional sporting event, something happens to me that I'm like, I didn't intend on this. Like I did not plan for this. I'm really like, why? Leave me alone. Sports really embraces you. Yeah, it really embraces me. Could you imagine yourself like in college every Saturday having like a football game day? Yeah, well, I'm going to go back for the homecoming because the girls were like, do you want to come to homecoming? I was like, yeah, I mean, I freaking love a homecoming.

Are you going to a dance after? Like I'm coming. I'm sitting at the game and I say to Joe, I'm like, it's so crazy that these are kids out there. These are kids. And he's like, he's like, these are grown men that are like six to five. And so we're down on the field and he's like, do they still look like kids to you? Because like they're huge.

And I go, they can't even legally drink yet. Yeah, that's a baby. That's a child. They are. They're like barely forming sentences. They're scared. They're calling their mom. In my head, I'm like, if I was a teen mom, these would be my children. I watch NFL games like they're my children because they're on my fantasy league. So I'm like, right.

Don't you touch my son? Don't you hurt him? Because we're in our 30s. If you're younger than 30, I'm like, that's a baby. That's a little sweet girl. I'm 35. If I were to meet a 34 year old man, I'd say, sweet baby, how can I help you in this life? What do you need to learn? I'm like, you don't know anything. Oh my God. Wait, you want to know what I did today? That was like, so me and so self care.

Yeah. I charged all my things. Anything that needs a charge, I charged it. I charged every pair of headphones in my home. We had such different days. I charged a mirror. I said, I didn't even know you needed to be charged. I thought you ran on batteries. I charged that mirror. I charged my phone. I charged my iPad. I charged this computer that I'm on.

Everything got charged. And it brought me such joy. I can't express to you. I felt you want to feel accomplished and you're tired. Charge something. Well, that's my problem with vibrators. They're never charged at the right time. You feel like a freak to be like, you feel like on a Tuesday to be like, let's charge my vibrators. Or you're like, I'm not charging it out in the open.

Like this. I have to put it in the bathroom somewhere. What am I? Just like a sexaholic? When are people charging it? When are people charging it? Because you're not doing it before because the moment's over, babe. You're not doing it after because you're like, don't know what's happening after. All vibrators should be on batteries because that's just like, I'm not putting my USB -C in my vibrator the same as my computer that I'm on for work.

Like, no. I'm sending a work email, Walt, connected to my, I almost said TaskRabbit. Yeah. My vibrator is just plugged into my iPad. Like, no. This, no. I'm an adult. No. My Roger Rabbit is connected to my Gmail. One thing, wait. I did want to say about going to the football game this weekend. I'm really, I don't think I've ever taken note, but I'm really proud of Florida for having a little whimsy.

Like, okay, their professional team, the Dolphins.

Turquoise, orange, the Hurricanes Like, I appreciate the whimsy that they put forth, you know? Yeah I feel like no one talks about them I realize that if men got their periods, they would call it the red zone They'd be like, bro, I'm in the red zone

They would try and make it, like, so much harder, you know? Like, they're about to win They're like, I'm in the red zone, bro Watch out, I'm so close to my red zone Oh, wait, okay, I have a little announcement Yeah One thing about me is, God forbid I just, like, relax, you know? God forbid I relax I've had this, like, idea for, like, three years That I've never, I haven't done But I've been thinking about it And I would, like, go on tour with people And I'd talk to my comedy friends And you And be like, I have this idea for this show But I don't have the time or the energy

But I'm officially launching it It's been filmed Now, the concept came from the idea that so many gigglers Listen to Giggly Squad when they work out And they're like, I Or I listen to something that makes me laugh And then, like, I'll have a YouTube video Trying to teach me how to work out And I'm like, what if you combine these things? Because I personally hate working out I've gotten really out of shape And, like, I can't get myself motivated And I need to laugh Like, I lose focus so easily And I'm also the person at the gym with you I'm talking I'm talking the whole time If we're jogging, I'm talking I'm talking I'm like, let's get through this workout Through gossip

and fun and laughter Also, laughter is good for your abs I know, you just said gospel for a minute And you're like, and I'm praying I found Jesus And I'm like I'm preaching I do pray while I work out For sure I'm like, help me get through this So, I decided to create this thing called Gym Class The slogan is, on Wednesdays we work out And I have all my funniest comedian friends That's so millennial And I'm passionate about that I love that And I made the Instagram handle I love Gym Class Like, L -U -V Like, it's an AIM screen name Yeah So, I got all these, like, amazing celebrity trainers That I would have never worked out with If I wasn't, like, trying to make content

And all my funniest comedy friends And we just do these, like, 20 -30 minute workouts With, like, comedy in it But it's, like, a real workout So, like, everyone We're getting back in shape This is on YouTube This is on YouTube So, it's, like, the winter's upon us It's so easy to start, like, feeling like a piece of shit But I want to be healthy And every Wednesday I'm going to post a new video Of a different workout And I think we all should do it I love it Kayla Itzness It's giving BGG What was that workout everyone was doing? I have no idea Well, you weren't on that algorithm at all No, I wasn't in there You never were on Fitness Girl Algorithm Not really, no I also

feel like workouts are intimidating Like, even as a former D1 athlete When I go to the gym I'm like, I don't need all this bullshit So, this is, like, you could do it at home You could do it in the gym Also, after the Shane Gillis monologue I was like, let's be some gym class whores Like, let's shake our ass

I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training But my biggest problem is getting to the gym And thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember Maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram But there's really never any planning behind it And you know I hate a workout class That's why I've been loving the Ladder app I can open it and my workout is already planned And I can do it anywhere You have an expert coach And you know exactly what exercises you're doing How many sets How many reps And the in -ear coaching gives you cues And motivation throughout the workout It genuinely feels like you have a personal trainer In your headphones I've been

using this for a while now And I also feel and see myself Getting stronger each day because of Ladder I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines For a little while now So that will definitely be my next workout venture And for less than $1 a day You can't beat it And I love that Ladder remembers my weights Reps and sets Because I can actually see my progress Instead of wondering whether I'm doing it all correctly Plus you can get a new plan every week That builds on the last Remove the guesswork with Ladder And get a real coach in your ear Telling you exactly what to do for every workout No thinking Everything is planned for you And if you have an iPhone Head

to ladder .fit slash giggly And take a quick quiz To find your perfect Ladder plan Use our link to get a free 7 -day trial With no credit card And $10 off your first month if you join Today's episode is sponsored by SoFi The everything app for smarter money We won podcast of the year We wrote a book We have a tour We have a company Technically we are businesswomen now And honestly that's terrifying Because you don't build a company out of giggling Without eventually having to learn how money works We learned in public Mostly by getting things wrong at first Like finding out our money could be earning money Just by sitting there Because apparently having money sit in a

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harder Open a SoFi checking and savings account today Head to SoFi .com slash Giggly To learn more and get started SoFi checking and savings Is offered through a SoFi bank N .A. member FDIC Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm Autumn in New York is booked and busy And so am I It's shows, dinners, it's tennis It's being on your feet From 10 in the morning until midnight In shoes that were probably not built for walking And I love it I do But there is a stretch Where I was getting home At 1 in the morning And just collapsing And the first thing I finally clocked Is that one part of that month That actually needed to be working Was the sleep part That's the only

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Speaking of gym class, I have a new fixation snack. I love how you're like, speaking of gym, I love to eat. Speaking of working out, snack time.

Pretzel sticks has to be a pretzel stick in peanut butter. Yes. Done. Have you ever had the pretzels that have the peanut butter inside them? Okay, I have, but the quality of that peanut butter, not up to my standards. If it's not a Skippy, I only fuck with Skippy. I kind of like the gusher feeling of it where it explodes in your mouth. No? No.

No, it's not for, no. It's not for me. Unless they're collabing with a reputable peanut butter and not. No, seriously. I'm taking, I take peanut butter really seriously. You're like, I'm about to turn 34. I don't need anything exploding in my mouth, babe. I'm trying to lower my cortisol levels. Peter Pan peanut butter? No. No. Not me, babe.

Do you remember when Justin's peanut butter came out and everyone was like, this is the first ever healthy peanut butter in a ketchup packet. It comes in a ketchup packet. Yeah, but like. It was iconic. It's not good. It's like, it's good. It's good for being a healthy peanut butter. But when I want like a real peanut butter, I'm not grabbing Justin's.

The truth is everything is healthy as long as you don't overdose. Totally. Like, oh, your peanut butter has sugar in it. Yeah, you're going to be fine, babe. Do you remember when we were in middle school, there was like a rumor going around that there was like rat poop in all peanut butter no matter what? Your mom started that. She was like, everyone eat eggplant parmesan.

Enough of this peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. There's rat poison in it. I love a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Oh, yeah. Like my snacks really are just like middle school after school snacks. If you're in your peanut butter era. Yeah. You got to do toast. Okay. Peanut butter. Sliced a banana. A little bit of honey. Toasted.

So you have the crispness on the outside and the softness on the inside. It's really a pleasurable experience. That sounds nice. And I do envy people that have.

What are they even called? Like not. It's a mic. It's not. It's a microwave, but it's not. It's a oven. But it's. Yes. Microwave oven. Is that called? Yeah.

M oven. Mcreven. Why couldn't I think of that? Two words put together. That's me. I'm like, what's a paper towel? The first time I ever saw a microwave oven, I feel like in someone's home, I was like, you guys are rich. Yeah. Like that. Like what? I've never seen that before. And I feel like I need to get one of those because I need to make more paninis.

I'm still trying. I'm still trying to just get a microwave. Wait. Wait. By the way, people don't talk about it enough. What's his name? George. The George Foreman's. Yeah. That man, he had a boxing career. He could have been done. He could have been just like in Vegas. No, I think he's going in there. Betting all his money away. He creates George Foreman's.

Yeah. Which is literally like when your name becomes the product. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking huge. You're a household name. That's what they mean. That's he is the household name. He is the male Martha Stewart. Yeah. And it was genius. Like that makes it go panini at George Foreman. I feel like you just press it. And I feel like you get a little workout with your forearm because.

Yeah. I need to look into panini presses. Oh God. We're so in our 30s right now. We're so in our 30s. Well, you know, because I never used to be a fan of a hot sandwich. But as I get older, I think about them more. You never fucked with Quiznos? No. See, when I went to the Midwest, they had Quiznos. I don't think I've ever even walked into a Quiznos.

Never even eaten at a Quiznos. You've never dabbled in Quiznos. Have you ever. You go to Subway and you don't get it toasted? I don't. I'm a cold sandwich girl. For a lot of. For. I'm a cold over hot for a lot of things. You get an Italian BMT without toasting it? I'm cold. No. A cold salon? Because I don't like warm meats. A cold sopresetta? Yeah.

I think there's something gross about a warm piece of salami. I'm like, no, it's got to be cold. Oh, okay. I see your. Okay. I see your points. I see your points. Yeah. It's interesting. We're different in that way. We're different, but that's what makes us beautiful. But like I would make a hot peanut butter and jelly. You want like a melted peanut butter.

Yeah. The oil coming out. Yeah. Like I would, I would do that. I would make that over like a hot turkey sandwich. By the way, guys, this is how we dirty talk. This is important information. It's slowly dripping. I'm going to be honest. I have seen some things online where it's like they sold out Madison Square Garden. Like that's really, like what do they talk about? Like really important topic.

Wait. This is my anxiety, but you know when like good stuff happens to you and then you get scared like something bad is going to happen to you? Yeah. I've been in the house all weekend. I'm going to, I'm freaking out. Paige. I won't even open my phone. I have 700 text messages. I'm like someone's trying to kill me. I do have to say that I have been enjoying some of the think pieces on Madison Square Garden.

I just think like the timing of it all, like coming out right after Pete Davidson went online, it was like women don't do shit. They talk to the phone and they have careers. This is bullshit. And then Shane saying that women are whores for going to the gym. Oh, I did go to a Buddha temple. How was that? It was gorgeous and you'd love it because it was like gold and there's all these like body positive statues.

They're like, have the hot peanut butter and jelly. Okay. And this guy comes up to me and he's like holding something at me and I'm a New Yorker. So I'm just immediately like, no, thank you. I don't even look at what it is. I just say, no, thank you.

They're like, this girl disgraces our whole culture. No, literally. So the guy's like, he's holding like, um, it looks like a flat paper thing. And I'm just like, I don't want free stuff, sir. No, thank you. And then Des like nudges me and he's like, you have to take it. And I'm like, I don't want to take this man's thing. Like, I don't like now I'm in charge of this piece of paper.

I don't know. I don't, I've never read a pamphlet in my life. I don't want a pamphlet. And the guy's like, no. And he hands it to me and I open it up and it's an apron. And I was wearing my Daphne shorts. And apparently if you're a woman, your knees can't be out. And I was like, I felt like Shane Gillis saw me at the gym. I was like, put this.

So then, then I'm all in though. Cause now I'm like, oh, this is their culture. So I put on this apron. I'm wearing like a tennis shirt and a full apron all the way down to my ankles. And I'm dancing around making Des take photos of me. Imagine if that's the moment your ex -lax decided to hit.

I'm like, I'm actually going to need this right now.

Also, thank God I took it at night. Thank God I took it at night. Yeah, yeah. But I also was talking to Des about haters. And I was like, I love not addressing haters. Like Paige is good with it. I was like, I look up to people who are just like quiet and focusing on their art. And he was like, who does that? I'll at you. See, I was like, I like to just focus on my art and get better at my creativity and what I'm doing.

He goes, who do you look up to who does that? And I like really pause. I was like, who do I look up to who does that? And I was like, Rosalia. And he was like, does she? And I go, actually, most of her interviews are in Spanish. So I don't know what she's saying.

But in my head, she never addresses any haters. And I realized it's because I don't speak Spanish.

Also, she wrote a whole song about her ex called La Perla, where she basically calls him an asshole. I'm trying to think if there's someone that I'm like, oh, I really look up to them the way they carry themselves. Yeah, like, yeah, with people hating them. Well, I'm always jealous of people who don't have social media. Like, I think that's the ultimate fuck you.

Yeah. Which is why like, I was excited for J -Law. But now she's in the game and she's having fun with it. So I support women in the arts. No, I'm done now. Actually, I'm not in the car. Yeah, no, I'm not. Do you ever regret a comment? No. You know what I regret? Not saying more. Because I actually have way better comments. I have more comments.

I have funnier comments. I think my thing is I have so much to say that nothing will do it justice. So I need to just... Nothing will do it justice. But just know that there are people in my life that have heard all my comments. Oh, yeah. The comments are happening. It's just not happening. Yeah. But no, I'm done now. I'm literally... But I'm reading.

I'm in there. But I'm not. I'm not. I'm not commenting anymore. Until tomorrow. I'm having a sabbatical until tour. I'm really... This is my thing before tour. I'm centering myself. I'm like, I'm doing... I worked out. I've been working out every single day. I've been going in the sauna. I'm doing a hair mask right now. I'm different. I want to formally apologize to you because when I was on the toilet having a panic attack, I thought, and then I pushed her on stage.

Yeah. Your hands were numb? Oh, your hands were numb. My hands were numb. And I was lying on the bathroom floor. I'm like, and then I made her sit in front of 3 ,000 girls. My hands didn't just go numb. They contorted. They literally were like that. I couldn't move them. I go, I'm not alive anymore. I'm actually... The blood is draining from me.

That's the only thing I could think of. But I do have to say, once you survive that, like, what are you scared of? Nothing. Nothing can knock me down. Like, nothing can knock me down. I'm like, my own body has tried to take me out. Was like... I'm fine. You're like, my mind has played little riddles on me every day since I was born. You think I'm scared of you? My brain hates me.

Okay. Final thought. Yeah. Drake was seen in his white girl, Autumn, fringed poncho outfit. Look, everyone's a fan of Kyle Richards. Young, old, man, female. So, like, I think he was just... He's in his housewife era, and I love that. Yeah. You know? Wear a shawl when you want to wear a shawl. I don't wear enough shawls. I don't even own a shawl.

Fringe is so in. It's just so funny because you have to make such a conscious decision to be like, I'm not going to put a jacket. I'm just going to put a poncho shawl, and it has to fit with the rest of the outfit. Like, that was a full coordinated attack. I actually have a poncho I've been dying to wear for the past couple of weeks, so he inspired me.

Maybe the next Miami football game. It's just me and my poncho. Wait, do we have to do Hannah and Paige, try new things, learn how to cheerlead with the Miami cheerleading squad? We might. I might have to go back up in the air. You know, once a flyer, always a flyer. That's what I say. You know I'm giving base. I'm giving base energy.

Imagine me flying in the air. I hit a football player accidentally. He's out for the whole year. No, that would be a fun one, though, at some point. But we have so many. Really top on my list. I really want to do something with the Rockettes. Yes. Yes. You know, that's like, I really just, I think about them a lot. When I get back from Asia, one of these days, we'll start planning.

Yeah, we'll start planning. But if you guys have any wrecks for Vietnam or Hong Kong, let me know. Or any wrecks for just like motion in the ocean. Just staying alive out there. Making it home, I would say. As you guys know, I don't go to the doctor's office, so this is my doctor's office. So any DMs from doctors are wide open just on how to use laxative properly.

And we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. We'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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