Heidi Grant

TED Talks Daily · How to ask for help -- and get a "yes" | Heidi Grant

• What Is Rewarding About Helping

  When helpers knows that their help had an impact on the person asking for help. If they don’t get in touch with the helper after you helped the person, the helper won't never know if you really got the help you wanted.

  ▶ at 9:59 Share Transcript

• Is It Better to Ask in Person for Help

  Yes, it is better than email or text requests. In person requests for help are 30 times more likely to get a “yes” than a request made by email. We tend to avoid asking for help in person because it feels awkward.

  ▶ at 8:46 Share Transcript

• What Is the Illusion of Transparency

  It’s the mistaken belief that our thoughts, feelings, and needs are obvious to other people. This isn’t true, but we believe it. Even the people closest to you often struggle to understand how they can support you.

  ▶ at 3:28 Share Transcript

• Why Is It So Difficult to Ask for Help

  Even though it’s foolish for us to be afraid to admit that we need help from a loved one, we always feel embarrassed and uncomfortable when we ask for help. This is why we try to avoid asking for help as much as possible.

  ▶ at 1:17 Share Transcript

• What Does Heidi Grant Say Is the Reality of Modern Work and Life?

  Social psychologist Heidi Grant says on TED Talks Daily that asking for help feels vulnerable, and she knows it is not easy. The reality of modern work and modern life, she says, is that nobody does it alone and nobody succeeds in a vacuum. More than ever, people have to rely on other people's support and collaboration. Her instruction is to ask out loud when you need help, and to ask in a way that raises the chance of a yes and makes the helper feel good about saying it. She says both people deserve that. The talk's close is that this is how hard stretches actually get crossed.

  ▶ at 12:18 Share Transcript

• What Are Helpful Things to Do When Asking for Help

  There are four things to keep in mind. When you ask for help, be extremely specific about the help you want and why. The second point is avoid disclaimers, apologies, and bribes. The third is to not ask for help over email or text because it feels incredibly impersonal. The last point is when a person agrees to help you, follow up afterwards to show appreciation.

  ▶ at 5:43 Share Transcript