How Does Brad Jacobs Get His Mind Back to Center?

David Senra reads Brad Jacobs's account of using rational emotive behavior therapy, from Albert Ellis, to get his mind back to center. External events do not make you upset. What makes you upset is what you tell yourself. The practice finds irrational, self-defeating beliefs and reframes them into rational ones.

In a group, people shared what was making them angry, anxious, or depressed. Ellis had them close their eyes, get in tune with the negative emotion, then make themselves half as upset and sit in silence for a minute or two. He called the invasive inner self-criticism stinking thinking. Jacobs had demanded constant excellence with no margin for error, and the standard led only to disappointment. Ellis taught him to treat rigid demands as flexible preferences: aim high, and do not crumble after a shortfall. Among 17 reframes, needing to be liked by everyone becomes preferring to be liked while still valuing yourself. Demanding fair treatment or else people are awful becomes a preference, because you control only your response. Never feeling anxious, sad, or angry becomes accepting emotions as natural and useful.

When Jacobs is off center, he notices what he has been telling himself and says the situation again in a more constructive, rational way. He finds the practice extremely effective. Accepting human error gave him a more resilient mindset for business.