What Did Stuart Ablon Tell Mel Robbins Empathy Means?

Mel Robbins says the person who changed how she thinks about empathy is Dr. Stuart Ablon. She describes him as an award-winning psychologist, a professor at Harvard Medical School, and the founder and director of Think Kids, a program at Mass General Hospital. She says he has been researching and helping kids for 30 years. When she asked how he thinks about the word empathy, he answered with one word: understanding.

Mel Robbins says empathy is understanding another person: what they are feeling, what their perspective is, and what they are dealing with, before you judge, jump in to fix, give an opinion, or make up your mind. She says researchers at the University of Toronto studied everyday chances to practice that skill and published the findings in the Journal of Psychological Science. On average, she says, you have at least nine chances a day to act so other people feel understood and cared for. Empathy, in this stretch, is meeting people in the moments that matter to them, whether they are hurting or happy. Those small moments can make someone's life better, and using the skill instead of snapping to judgment, avoiding people, or missing the moment makes your life better too.