Does Living Together Before Marriage Lead to Divorce?

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson says people who live together are more likely to get divorced after they get married than people who did not live together. Trying a partner out first fails, because people are not commodities and the person you are going out with is not the same person you will be married to.

Marriage changes the relationship, and nobody knows what the change will be until the wedding, so the earlier arrangement cannot be practice. Before marriage the bond stays tentative. When living together has gone on a long time, a kind of lie sits in it: the underlying covenant is that you will keep going until someone better comes along. If that were not the agreement, the couple would already be married. A partner will not trust someone who reserves the right to find someone more desirable. Without trust, you never see the best of them and you never learn who they are.

Plenty of things in life cannot be practiced. You throw yourself into them with your eyes open, with gratitude and good faith. You get married in large part despite doubt, just as you take a new job despite doubt.