Why Does a Simple No Never Use the Word but?
Elizabeth Gilbert says a simple no always begins with thank you, and there is never a but, because the teacher of the nine-day school feels the word but is very cruel. The reply is thank you and no. You do not have to do the dance. If the other person is a good enough manipulator, it does not matter what you bring, because they are going to manipulate it. A simple no gives them no weapon to take and bring back.
A whole day of the nine-day school covers the simple no. When someone pushes, the reply stays short and ends with and no. One line is, I hear that, and you might be right about that, and no. Another is, I see your desperation, and no. A further line is, if I change my mind, I'll let you know, and no. Last week a professional contact asked for a one-hour video interview. She would once have thought she owed the contact because of something done for her earlier. Nothing in her wanted the interview, so the reply said she was sorry and would not do it then. The contact pushed and blamed hard sales on COVID-19. The next line was, I hear you and I understand you and no.
The ask just stops when the no is left to sit. People seldom come back a third time. Extra words after the no make the exchange more entangled. The simple no is hardest closest to home and hardest with family.
