How Should Parents Troubleshoot Technology Rules With Kids?

Laurie Santos says parents should troubleshoot technology rules with kids by treating them as agents: ask questions you do not already know the answer to, then validate the strategies the kids have already made.

UT Austin professor David Yeager argues in 10 to 25 that from age 10 to age 25 a kid's main goal is to be as agentive as possible, especially as a teenager who wants to think of themselves as an adult. Treat them like an agent who knows what they are doing, and help a newer agent who still knows less. Kids often think about technology in sophisticated ways and sometimes already have their own strategies, good or not. One rule is to open TikTok only after homework. Another is to pick a particular LLM because the kid thinks one is better than another. Parents can say they are glad the kid is thinking creatively, then troubleshoot together so the kid keeps an agentive role in the decision.

Hard boundaries still help, such as no ice cream after dinner. When parents do not know the technology, asking how a kid is thinking about it can surface solutions the kid already has. Catherine Price's new book with Jonathan Haidt, The Amazing Generation, tells kids they control their own destiny and shows what technology companies are trying to do. A rebellious kid does not want that manipulation and can look for ways to fight back, including action on their own mental health.