Lewis Howes
Episodes
Notes
The School of Greatness · Let Go of Expectations and Attract What You Desire | Lewis Howes
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Why Did Lewis Howes Meet His Wife Later?
Lewis Howes met his wife later because he was not emotionally ready 10 years earlier. The love of his life showed up when he stopped trying to force it. She wishes they had met 10 years sooner, before other relationships, so they would have had more fun and been farther along.
They both salsa danced at the same clubs in LA 10 years ago and 15 years ago, and she wonders whether they ever ran into each other. Lewis Howes told her he would not have been ready emotionally and probably would have messed it up even if he had seen her. A mentor told him money comes when you are ready for it, and Lewis Howes believes love comes the same way. He says an earlier relationship might bring good times an
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Why Are People Afraid to Stop Expecting?
Lewis Howes calls expectation number five the fear that if you stop expecting something, you will stop getting it. Good things show up right after people stop chasing them.
A person deleted the dating apps and met someone at a friend's birthday the next week. A business owner walked away from a big deal and got the call the next week for something better. Lewis Howes says it might sound like luck, then points to what changes in the person who actually lets go. They relax, so people feel more comfortable around them with friends, family, relationships, and career. They stop forcing things, so nobody feels pushed. They notice what is right in front of them and make better decisions because th
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Why Did Lewis Howes Start a Relationship in Therapy?
Lewis Howes started the relationship in therapy because expecting a partner to understand his entire history, every gesture, every word, and every future dream is not possible. He would not commit exclusively unless the relationship started in therapy. The sessions created structure around fears, concerns, wants, and desires, and the two of them could come together and align.
He had an expectation to be single, then kept saying the things he knew were true and the things most people do not want to hear. The more he did that, the more accepting she was, and he said she was going to be the one. After a few months of dating and hanging out, he said he was not willing to get exclusively committ
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Why Do People Walk Past What They Wanted?
Lewis Howes says people walk right past the exact thing they have been asking for because it did not show up looking the way they pictured it. What someone wants and how they expect it to show up are very different things, and life rarely gives it exactly the way they pictured it.
The picture can be the exact person, the exact job, the company, the exact city, or the exact moment. Anything that does not match gets a no without even thinking. An invitation gets turned down because it does not sound like the right kind of thing. A second date never happens because someone is not the usual type. A job that paid less at first but could have changed a whole life gets passed over. Some of the bes
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How Do You Stop Feeling Behind Successful People?
Lewis Howes says looking at a successful person's life at the same stage stops the feeling of being behind and turns the gap into learning. Most of the time that person was also struggling, scared, insecure, and uncertain. When the work was an online business or platform, the numbers were small too.
He tells people to study someone they do not like, someone they criticize all the time or talk about behind their back, who posts online, is really successful, and has done the career they want. At 25 or at 30, read the old interviews from that time, scroll back to the first social posts and the first videos from five, 10, or 15 years ago, or ask the person directly. Compare year one with year o
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What Was Lewis Howes's Life Like in His Mid-20s?
Lewis Howes was broke in his mid-20s, with no money, sleeping on his sister's couch and working an unpaid internship a few days a week in Columbus, Ohio. He says that after maybe six months, he and his mentor went on walks every week and he asked questions on the walks. After about six months of the internship, Lewis Howes was struggling financially and emotionally, his confidence was very low, and he could not take care of himself. He wanted to know when he would catch a break, learn how to make money, get an opportunity that would set his life up for success, and get off his sister's couch.
His mentor told him that money comes when you are ready for it. Lewis Howes said he felt ready beca
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What Is the Thief of Joy?
Lewis Howes says comparison is the thief of joy. Real progress in life, career, health, or an online following can still feel like falling behind when someone compares their own life and results with another person's life and results.
Admiration settles on one person, a few people in the same industry, or college friends a few years out who seem to be crushing it. They have the relationship, they are getting engaged or married, and they have the career, and their life becomes the path that has to be followed. They bought a house at 25 or 30, and it feels impossible. They made a hundred grand, half a million dollars, or a million dollars a few years after launching a business, while the othe
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What Is a Silent Contract?
A silent contract is the unspoken bargain Lewis Howes names as doing something and then treating a return as owed: I did blank, so I am owed blank. Most people find three or four of them right away, with a boss, a partner, a parent, or an audience.
He says to pick one and keep doing the work on the left side of the sentence while crossing out the right side, the part about what is owed. Showing up and giving stay. The attached expectation and the attached result come off. Wanting the results can remain, because creating something is still meant to produce a result for yourself as well. Tying the expectation to the giving is what other people feel. Lewis Howes gets emails, text messages, and