Why Do People Walk Past What They Wanted?

Lewis Howes says people walk right past the exact thing they have been asking for because it did not show up looking the way they pictured it. What someone wants and how they expect it to show up are very different things, and life rarely gives it exactly the way they pictured it.

The picture can be the exact person, the exact job, the company, the exact city, or the exact moment. Anything that does not match gets a no without even thinking. An invitation gets turned down because it does not sound like the right kind of thing. A second date never happens because someone is not the usual type. A job that paid less at first but could have changed a whole life gets passed over. Some of the best things people have today are things they never would have picked up on purpose.

Lewis Howes says letting go of the demand that it show up the way he pictured it or envisioned it is a big part of how he met his wife. When he met her, he was not looking to get into a relationship. He had just gotten out of one and gone through a year and a half of pain, challenge, and struggle. In that relationship they were in therapy, felt like complete opposites, and could not find mutual agreement. He was not calling either person right or wrong. After a couple of years, his lesson was to have the talks from the beginning, before committing, and check alignment of values and expectations instead of jumping in because it feels fun or exciting.