Why Does Casey Davis Tell People to Drop Off Paper Plates?

Mel Robbins calls the third way to practice empathy paper plates: drop off paper plates. She is passing on advice from Casey Davis, a licensed clinical therapist and bestselling author who came on the Mel Robbins Podcast a few years ago to share small things that improve your life. Mel Robbins says the advice changed how she shows up for people who are struggling.

What she used to do was say she was sorry and ask how she could support them, or text to ask what they need. Casey Davis's lesson, as Mel Robbins tells it, is that when somebody you love is struggling, do not ask them what they need. You can still ask how they are feeling and ask them to help you understand what is going on. Asking what they need, or telling them to say what you can do, often hits someone who does not even know what day it is.

Casey Davis says paper plates. Drop off paper plates, plastic cups, and plastic utensils, because the last thing a person needs is a sink full of dishes. Mel Robbins says finding that on the porch with a note says I care about you, and I do not know what to do, so I am doing this. A casserole dropped off after a baby says the same thing: they are thinking of me.