How Many Daily Chances Does Empathy Research Count?

Mel Robbins says it is clear why people are going to like you. When you stop guessing and ask what is going on and how they are doing, when you go first, when you bring the paper plates and show up with support without being asked, and when you keep waving, people like you because they like how you make them feel. That is why this works. She says not to underestimate how much power you have in these tiny moments.

The research, Mel Robbins says, counts about nine of these chances every single day. Nine chances to make someone else feel they matter. Nine chances to expand the joy somebody feels. Nine chances to offer support to somebody who feels alone. Empathy is something you give to another person. In return, she says, you feel better about yourself and you have better relationships, because every time you make somebody feel seen, understood, supported, celebrated, or remembered, you get that back. Mel Robbins says it is not about what you are doing. It is how you make people feel. Empathy is the skill that helps you make other people feel good about themselves, and when they feel good because of you, they like you a lot.

What Mel Robbins has learned is that the skill of empathy is not just about what it does for the other person. It comes back a hundredfold. The more you practice those four simple things, the more you are going to like yourself and the more other people are going to like you too.