Why Doesn't Achievement Make Us Feel Better?

Anna Lembke says achievement does not make people feel better. The push to stand out above other people brings shame and self-loathing, the counterweight to that kind of self-regard. In her clinic, people hate themselves, feel like impostors, and carry overwhelming shame. After she speaks to a big audience, the comedown is mostly shame. As long as the investment is in personal achievements, she does not see a way out of it.

Scott Galloway had described the same chase as an addiction to strangers' approval: money, CNN, and a stage at the World Economic Forum, paid for with less time at home and with his own health. The want underneath, in her account, is connection, reputation, and affirmation. Likes, followers, and an AI chatbot built to praise you now supply it without other people, and social validation releases dopamine in the reward pathway. Her practical view is to turn off likes, not read the comments, look at yourself once and then stop, and do the work because it is worth doing rather than because it will be seen.