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Why Don't Dating Preferences Predict Who We Fall for? · Hidden Brain

How Love Really Works

Most of us have ideas about what we’re looking for in a romantic partner. But psychologist Paul Eastwick says these preferences are surprisingly poor guides for finding love. He explains why attraction is so difficult to predict, and what the research suggests is the best way to meet someone with whom you'll connect. Then, in a new installment of “Your…

Notes

What Does Evolutionary Psychology Claim About Mating? at 14:50

Paul Eastwick, a psychologist at the University of California, Davis, says the popular evolutionary account of mating, which he calls the evolutionary script… Full answer
Why Does Agreement About Attractiveness Fade Over Time? at 17:40

Paul Eastwick says people largely agree on who is attractive in a photograph or at a first meeting with a stranger, and that agreement fades once they… Full answer
Why Don't Dating Preferences Predict Who We Fall for? at 21:41

Paul Eastwick says the traits people name as what they want in a partner do a poor job of predicting whom they like once they meet face to face. Full answer
Does Ambition Attract Men and Women Equally? at 25:54

Paul Eastwick says ambition attracts men and women about equally in the first minutes of a date. Full answer
Why Do Dating Apps Make Women Look Pickier? at 30:22

Paul Eastwick says dating apps make women look much pickier than men, because the gap in who says yes is far larger online than when people meet face to face. Full answer
Why Can't Machine Learning Predict Romantic Compatibility? at 35:10

Paul Eastwick says studies with psychologist Samantha Joel tested whether compatibility at a first meeting can be predicted from what two people report about… Full answer
How Do Couples Create Compatibility? at 39:57

Paul Eastwick, a psychologist at the University of California, Davis, says compatibility is tightly tied to history: the story two people share and how that… Full answer
What's the Best Way to Meet Someone You'll Click With? at 45:22

Paul Eastwick says the way to meet someone you will click with is to keep up friendships and not cross people off from a description on paper. Full answer
Why Do People Fall in Love With an Idea of Their Partner? at 52:26

Shankar Vedantam says people sometimes respond to an idea of a partner they created themselves. Full answer
What Is Social Projection? at 57:28

Edward Lemay, a psychologist at the University of Maryland, says social projection is a bias where people assume others are more like them than they really are. Full answer
What Is an Upward Comparison in a Relationship? at 1:03:50

Edward Lemay says an upward comparison is what happens when people measure their own relationship against one that looks better. Full answer
Why Do People Project Current Feelings Onto a Relationship's Future? at 1:05:18

Edward Lemay says people project how they feel about a partner today onto the future of the relationship. Full answer
Why Do World Beliefs Change How a Partner Looks? at 1:12:31

Edward Lemay says people use their beliefs about the world as a lens on a partner. Full answer

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