What Is Cognitive Restructuring?

Spencer Greenberg says cognitive restructuring is learning to change the thoughts a person has over time. A person often cannot change the first thought. A person can often change the second thought, the response thought, and Greenberg says the change can make a tremendous difference.

In the example of fighting with a girlfriend a lot, she asks why the dishes were left in the sink. The first thought is wanting to do things one's own way and feel comfortable at home. A person is not necessarily in control of that thought, then asks whether it is the most helpful thought right now. The next step is a more helpful thought that is at least as true, without self-delusion. Greenberg offers that the home is hers too and the pair need to find a balance. After the first thought, a person trains that second thought, and the second thought sets up a better position for success.