Why Did Spencer Greenberg Ask Men for Hugs?

Spencer Greenberg says many people are limited by fear and could benefit from not letting fear stop them from the things they find most valuable. He was anxious his whole life from childhood. Going up to a stranger at a party made his heart pound, and his brain predicted he was going to die, even though he knew it was safe.

In his early twenties he found a specialist who works on anxiety. The therapist said he could help, but Spencer Greenberg was not going to like how they would do it. Homework was to go to a bar every weekend alone and talk to five strangers. They built a fear hierarchy. The bottom was stressful but bearable: going up to people and asking what time it was. When that got easy, the next level was asking what they were drinking and saying it looked good. At the top, in Manhattan, he went up to men at bars and said, excuse me, would you give me a hug? He thought he was going to die. He did not get punched in the face. The worst reaction was people laughing or saying no.