Full Transcript for S1E7 - 'The Tombola'

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the following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff.

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Jamie, Why are we here?

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We're here because my dad's in a porno that's written. Report. Erotic literature.

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Previously on my dad wrote a porno. Jim Sterling was a

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Jim Sterling. Yeah, she'll be in short and stout. Here's his handle.

My name is Peter, he said, and quickly bowed things traditional in holding.

So he began using the mud to mark Belinda's tits ass, mouth and ears with symbolic signs.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of my dad Wrote a porno. Alice. Thanks for joining me again.

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I can't believe I've been invited back. So this is great caution. Invited

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by always Welcome. Always welcome, James. Thank you. New haircut, the converse wish while I thought making effort for Belinda. You know, these are special nights to me. And

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Jamie, thank you for offering to readers yet another chapter. We're getting really into the thick of it now.

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You're welcome, Alice. Every day's a struggle, but I'm getting through it.

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Wear We are. I've kind of Well, in a

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few days, I forgot. Yeah. So basically, last chapter, Belinda, about Peter rounds.

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It might have gone to love from just sex, which we know Belinda loves and enjoys, but we think maybe there's an emotional connection.

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Well, she certainly made reference, or Rocky did through his prose that she felt a connection that was deeper than just the average fucking A bush, which is essentially what you're doing. An amazing, isn't it?

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I think you paraphrase

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paraphrasing, obviously. So it's turning into a bit of a romance novel. This could be the next Gone with the wind. God, Well, mud symbols on her back aside. I was

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going to say that, God be weird, it a little bit weird.

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But, you know, Belinda knows the heart, so I trust her tree. I also trust my dad. I mean, really,

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that makes one. Let's take some more. Maybe not

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as much as I used to it as like a young boy when he would take me fishing. But I have understood him on a different level, certainly throughout this process, which has been interesting

way. Okay, so are we all ready? Belinda blinked. Chapter eight, the Tom Bola

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Bola. Get your tickets. We nothing. A light and innocent about this thing.

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Belinda was now both exhausted. Andi exhilarated. She

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was now exhausted. Three clients in

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She's Hardy. We've said this, So we found up straight back in the maze. We're We're where we left her. She'd been fucked by three males.

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Males. It's

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almost like a David Amber now, isn't it? Approach the female with a black form.

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There's nothing natural about anything. It

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does not the world. It bad happens in literature only in Rocky's filthy Mind. Okay, my dad

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said somber,

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she'd been fucked by three males. Well, let's be honest. Two and 1/2 2 in a bowl, that's that's in the

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booth. It's a little bit Iraqi, man.

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Maybe I should start again to give you the full flow. Belinda was now both exhausted and exhilarated. She'd been foot by three males. Well, let's be honest. Two and 1/2 in the last two hours and have been totally mesmerized by one of thumb

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the vole waken Take your eyes off it.

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She also had 1/6 sense that she could never opt out of the special relationship Peter Rouse and herself had developed in their short meeting, but for all that, she was completely up for it Peter was a successful, dominating character. And come to think of it, so was she.

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She's basically met her match. Yeah, that's what I like

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about that relationship. It feels that they are two very equal parties. I don't know. I think that's, you know, to dominating partners surely need one passive one dominating. I don't think it's gonna work out. I forsee problems on the horizon. Speaks volumes about your private life, James. Okay, we stop talking about the

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same passive. Is the James character

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you on the hook for Pete around now, relaxing against the trellis, as you do because it is quite the place to relax. You get bit sunbathing in, why don't you? She pulled the parcels during sharply, and it fell to the muddy ground. I was to kill them. After all that schnitzel, Justin stood there. She slowly twisted the plastic handcuffs, and they fell apart and she bent down to pick up her tennis outfit.

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How strong is Belinda on? Then she ripped the trailers into

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She's the female hulk all of a sudden,

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and then she punched out. Father,

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it was a real mess.

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Tell me about it.

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I think it's a tennis outfit.

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I mean, the whole thing from chapter one through to present day.

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It was a real mess, but for decency steak, She put what was left of the shirt and dress back on. What said she just coming with Drake.

She knew Tony will be here any minute to bring her back to the barbecue area. And then she could get back to her lovely bath, her room in the horse and jockey. Soon she heard footsteps coming through the maze. And thankfully, it was Tony. He

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was in a black thong. Oh, hi, Belinda. Let me guess we could write it. She's still not had

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a wicked way with you. Turning yourself always gets in the way. Maybe, uh, maybe this is the moment. Oh, thankfully, it was Tony. He had a large smile on his face. I bet he did. Your star, Belinda. Those three guys you just entertained are over the moon with you Entertained? Yes, she didn't. She didn't do a song and dance. Number three fair.

She's at the same does.

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Should everything but song and dance. To be fair, she's done the whole razzmatazz.

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They're over the moon with you and the other girls have done good as well.

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This is different. T believe it. Twist oven See coming doesn't feel very special now to say What do you mean, another girl? I'm with the Linda. Didn't you

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know to Southern Belle Over here is Well,

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it's no. She would have got the lower ranking executive. So she went. Got somebody with 300 outlets.

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Hardly a trellis is a bit of would probably It's not just you. It's your glee team as well,

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Galilee, it seem. What does that mean? It seems fruitless to ask that question. What? We're reading this

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novel. Oh, come on. It's like a pre empting Belinda every turn. Tony. What

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do you mean, like women? E love That is like a call. And And

Rocky's anticipating the basically not of language, but it is. So now realizes I'm gonna have to explain my every turn,

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Tony. What do you mean my Glee team? We're all just girls out for a good time and I need a bath.

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I tell

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you, looked at her and decided not to comment on a condition.

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Very good man. He

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had never seen so much mud stick to a person and What were those symbolic marks on her face and

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vise Tony? Buy a pound for every time somebody asked that

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they soon reached the barbecue area, which had been transformed into a Roman style MP theater with over 40 people sitting around on chairs having

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chest. They had chairs James

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they seaweed barbecue area, which have been transformed into a Roman style amphitheater with 40 people sitting around on chairs. They were mostly clients with their wives.

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About those winds are having the best day out ever. Jim, where've you been? Why did you ever did more? For months you've been gone for 45 minutes.

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They were mostly clients with their wives, who had up to this point no knowledge of the sexual adventures, which a few of their number have been allowed access to.

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How could they not know? I mean, you got Belinda moaning

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and groaning from the maze, which

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can't be that far away. Absolutely. Someone's blowing a whistle. The time

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Belinda sat down on a chair,

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it really paints a picture with words

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which Tony had found for she looked around and try to locate his Alan Bella. They'll be the other muddy ones, probably Belinda gasped when she recognized his down. What? Why her beautiful blonde hair had Bean to say the best remodeled

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thing to say the best

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by the haps, a maniac with a twist for the dramatic three question marks.

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So Helen Orthodox, he's lost his shit. So has been remodeled, perhaps by a maniac with dramatic. So I described you s Oh, if we just look at Alice,

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we can kind of get a sense of what yourselves. It's looking like, Oh, the poor thing, What she'd been through his alibis. Have you been through Belinda Gasp? And she recognized you sell her beautiful blonde hair had Bean to say the best remodeled

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Stop saying to say that that by

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perhaps a maniac with a twist for the dramatic, her dress had seen as much whereas Belinda's tennis outfit and was being held together by a few safety pins.

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Why did you get those from Yeah, I had, Yeah, see, Belinda's a novice

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just looked up and saw Belinda staring at her. She smiled and stared back at Belinda's equally disgusting condition and torn clothing. Girls, you need to stick together and stopped, like riding off into the air like silently judging

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each other. Bitch don't mean girl vibe. You're like a mass. Also. Maybe didn't just start, maybe say something. Have a greet each other. I

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think they're across the MP theater

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across the the sea of 40 people that the huge crowds on chairs come on chairs. I forget about the chair. It's hard to navigate such chance coming. There's no reference to those in the blurb. They really There was a reference to everything

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Belinda thought. Perhaps she had gone off lightly. But why was Tony so happy? Giselle was his girl, and she seemed to be in a bit of a state.

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Why does Belinda always think she looks better

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than Gisele? About slightly better boobs. You step off Giselle blender gauges L A thumbs up.

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I looked up to

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Glinda gauges that with thumbs up on, looked around for Bella.

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I'm done with you.

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She soon spotted her. And to be honest, Bala didn't look much better than Gisele, though, Uh, I was intact.

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Just bulls. I don't think so. Just three model

remodel, just yourselves have been just to pay off.

The palace has

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intact, but God way, find out she find out, though her hair was intact. Her outfit was sporting half a dozen safety pins.

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Where is everybody getting on? Why did no one offer Want a balloon? Is a luxury in the maze Bellerin. Giselle brought a box

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of safety pins and didn't help in there. And they're like, Screw Belinda made. Actually, Belinda will get screwed.

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Maybe it's an annual Tom Bola. Maybe male. Also. Can I just say during all this, when obviously they looked like they'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and then stacked up against Travers? Which is exactly what happened?

All the wives of just sitting around drinking pins, going much ladies ever had a rough right here, got caught in the rain there, half naked and covered in mud on that girl's head.

I was enjoying that cucumber sandwiches

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Ballas Face was, however covered in red lipstick. A cz there, another maniac tried to apply it

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invited all the maniac maniac hair stylists

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they had definitely succeeded in making her look like a tart.

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But I thought to make it was all over a face like a tart. She looks like a green

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because just lipstick schooled over your face just screams Lady of the night.

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It certainly does. I've done it before. It attracts

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a lot of attention. Belinda Court, Bella's eye and smarter Bella Gay for the thumbs up. This'll very strange. What's going to happen next. I'm guessing a Tom Bone is about to happen.

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If it doesn't this chapter, I feel desperately misled.

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A couple of minutes later, a tall chap stood up and addressed the gathering. Welcome, everyone to our annual Tom Bowler. Itwas

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annual anything once you've been to warn, you cannot wait more than 12 months ago to another.

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Once she'd been to warn you Bring save depends exactly Welcome everyone to our annual Tambo. Where are prices are the same as previous years?

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Wow, great, Good. Can I guess what they

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are? Are they women? But there's no reference to the

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way you have to have been to the previously the fictitious talk to know what we have had

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to visit Rockies mind a bit like being John Malkovich. Okay, great. Welcome, everyone to our annual Tom Bowler, where are prices are the same as previous years? I also want to personally thank Sir James Godwin person for letting others have this opportunity to raise much needed money for our local

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charity. Charity is endorsing this as a former fundraiser.

How'd the rspb raised their money? I'm really suspicious now with £50 goes to that.

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I also want to personally thank Sir James Godwin for letting us have this opportunity to raise much needed money for our local charity. The axes and donkey

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is trust. What kind of passes? And we talk. I can now die happy. This is my favorite bit awful. In the blink, I've

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found my new charity to

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Seo. So once a year. So let me just get this straight. You want? Yeah. Part of town's industry. Get together for

Jack da Bola, hosted by Sir James. Wait. A knight of the realm for us is a donkey watch association. No trust trust. Oh, also are they don't know if you can ask Rocket this. Are they looking for an ambassador? Because I am willing to take on that role. You couldn't write it, but apparently you did. You shouldn't right

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now. Please remember, as your prize is a real person, you

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win a human being.

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Apparently so you will only get your servant for the time period of 12 hours. that's the highest bidder from this audience for each individual prize gets to take them home. The audience clapped enthusiastically.

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Good. All those wives, the

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tool man continued. There was only one rule, and that is that we have a safe word. They have a safe word, a safe word which, when uttered, means the owner stops the directed task right away and the servant is released from their 12 hour duty.

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Can I just say, as you know, I've been to a lot of time bowlers? This is the first time I've heard of it. Most of us don't require paid 50 p, take my half used bottle of body lotion and got on my merry way. But there's never been a safe word involved. But if that's how they roll in the ass and donkeys trust, that's none of our business.

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The downside of that is, the servant has to match the donation paid by the bidder to our charity,

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what to be able to have a safe word. One rule that seems to rule on

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the rule is negated by part of the rules. The downside of that is that the servant has to match the donation paid by the bill. It to our charity. We all win.

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Three yeses and donkeys will get a human

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being. Okay? Yes. Now

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everyone's eyes just to himself. Okay? Yeah. Continue. Way

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we'll win. Okay? Yes. Now,

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please. Really

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Now, please remember girls on potential owners. The safe word is fim ble.

Yes,

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Yes, I did. Okay. Yes. Thimble Anyone? Yes. So everyone's got the same safe

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word symbol? Yeah. The safe word is thimble. Yes, simple.

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Easy to

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remember. It stops you from getting pricked. Oh, lovely little joke from the tollbooth crowd groaned I'd like my guest tonight. Who both

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love crowd. Great. Hey, guys, Get a lot heavier than that Very quickly.

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The crowd groaned and started clapping, but

she was intrigued.

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Doesn't take much to peak Belinda's.

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She quickly thought Who would I pick us? My prize. Tony Obama? No, sir. James Godwin

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onboard. Never met. He could look

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gross on. Boy, would I enjoy that scenario Today we have three servants on offer and to find out who they are and take note it could be any of you here. I want you all to look under your chairs and see the number attached to it.

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What is it? The price is right. I got it because it's like we really should not have brought like Auntie Doreen.

Suddenly, the chairs on so appealing leaving

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the sound of hurriedly scraping chairs, fills the air while the now hushed audience check the numbers. Belinda's was 13 Unlucky for some she saw. It's definitely gonna be unlucky, for she's totally in this time. Bhola. Okay, the tall man shouted. Let's tumble the Tom Bowler.

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You don't say that. That's not a tumble. That, eh? That

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let's tumble that on Bhola and see what the three lucky numbers are. Lucky. The Tom Bowler went round and

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round from the wheels on the bus.

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Belinda felt a sense of adventure takeover persona what

she somehow felt. She knew she would be a prize, but she didn't know who would be her own.

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Obviously, no kind of sexy,

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though not what we're saying. No,

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actually, you know what? That's obviously weird for you to say and that creep me out, but I know what you mean. I want intrigue, and it's like maybe it's just that

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the narrative device, it's not to kick in. We're like, Oh, who's gonna be the winner. What is wrong with you?

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Todo?

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The first number is 22. I repeat 22 with the person. Sit on chair number 22 please Stand up

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is a tongue twister, I think is the person with the blue Volvo, please.

It's parked right across the entrance sparked across the maze.

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Linda looked around to see who the lucky person waas He was it. Guys, come on. Bella was It was just on and she stood up. A safety pin fell out. A safety pin fell out, revealing a beautiful right breast of the crowd. Of

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course. Right Breath. Right. The

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right. You're not the right plan. I'm sure they are right. But it was the right on appreciative murmur came from the man which saw many of the wives elbowing them in the ribs. Did they dare bid for her after that? Belinda thought the second number is 37. I repeat, 37

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studio. No kidding.

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Her safety pins held on Belinda ballast to the her safety pins held on. Belinda started to smell a rat.

It was the vote again. But never mind. The third number is unlucky for

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so already stood up. She knows it, so it's fine.

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Belinda jumped to her feet, ready to go wondering who should be a servant to. For the next 12 hours, her torch shirt fell wide apart, revealing her breasts, and her tennis skirt flapped wide in the Mountie breathe, revealing her pubic airline to

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the body you lost me found. But this is Chapter

three. Very good, very good. I over I'm over.

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Her tennis skirt flapped wide in the mounting breeze, revealing her pubic hair lined the assembled body. But she didn't care. She was Belinda, and she was going to make sure a big butch man took her home. I don't like talking in the third person. No, like she's some sort of like a superhero

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and also one name. She's dropped the blooming

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toll. Now, said the tall man, This is where we make the mutt Tallman. This is where we make some money for our charity, as the rest of you can bid for. Their service is, but firstly, do I have the agreement of these three very fine ladies be coerced into these important rules?

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Fine ladies with already established, they look like an absolute ones covered in

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mud ones bald and the other one's got elliptical over a face.

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I'll take the Scarecrow with alopecia. Expect the one with the face thing going around. Shame dipped in chocolate.

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Belinda thought. What the fuck I'm with. That's exactly what I'm thinking right now. This might be fun way. It's probably just doing a bit of cleaning and lawn mowing on a Sunday.

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It's no, she don't know what novelties in does she know, not know who she is? It's probably a big leaning, probably some like Chul's,

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she shouted out. Yes, I'm game waas whilst every to Kimberly. No, no one likes someone who's like over, and he's insane whilst covering up her private parts with her hands and arms. So she

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said, I'm game and then tries to cover us over. Yeah, Is he always counting boobs in the private

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boobs on the pubic hairline?

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Yeah, just

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between the two fingers go. Airlines being concealed. Thea Other two girls followed suit and happily agreed. The tool man bowed to them,

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making him almost normal height. And someone banged a gong. What is it like a Chinese ritual?

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The Torme about, um, thank you for your noble assistance. Our charity the assets and donkeys. Trust is much indebted to you. The bidding quickly started with Bella, and she soon went for £350 to the American Jim Sterling.

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Talk about short straw. Thank you. I'm here all night. 12 hour. Three different liquids

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on Bella soon went for £350. The American Jim Sterling who Belinda thought could do with a cop transplant.

I'm very soon at that.

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Doesn't mince their thoughts. Does she Are Belinda, You have a cock

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transplant? Giselle went next for £300

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from Tony of

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all people. Definitely a case of protecting his own

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attorney. Bit on Giselle, who's kind of his bit anyway. Whatever. But only been 300 quid. Oh, God, yeah. Barrett would have a proper identity. She's what woman? Zell's our body to die for. A work, however, it said and talk to

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one. But she is now bald. She has plucked. Then it was Belinda's term. Oh, Lord God, the bids started slowly.

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Pound. Can I use this? Shrapnel got change.

Do you accept postal notes? The legal tender. Would

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you bid for Belinda in the state? She's in Bless er The bid started slowly on Belinda couldn't believe her body was that bad. Perhaps it was all the mud.

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Where was her butch, man? Bush. Finally,

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she went for £200 from a lady's a lady from the ladies dressed in a white linen trousers suit on a Panama

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hat. Kate gutted for two reasons. One, The man from Del Monte is just just one. You You've gone for the cheapest price.

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Oh, finally she went for £200 from a lady dressed in a white linen trousers suit. Panama hat caught only the Dutch. Yes, Duchess is finally a right bloody time. With Belinda sold, the Tom Bowler was over and the three girls were taken away to start their 12 hours of duty. That now devastated Belinda. Uh oh. She didn't get the Bushmen

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not being funny, but she went for 200 quid for 12 hours. That's actually 16 quid an hour from the Duchess. Why things got money to splurge.

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You would hope

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she's not getting paid. That's going to the assets on the donkey. You're right. You are a

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student for them. The now devastates Belinda was immediately led to a hose pipe near the stables, where the duchess stripped her of her tor NW skirt and tennis shirt and hosed her down. She roughly fondle Belinda's tits and ass in the washing process

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in the warp sing bro, as

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they all do with a long handled brush and then pushed her still naked into a horse box.

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Oh, well, at least she's had a good, clean brush.

That woman should be around horses. Never mind Rama Delinda.

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With the rear tailgate down, it was obvious that it had all been planned in advance. Instead of strong manure, there was a sofa and

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drinks. Theo, I probably say Yes, that's not how it

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usually is. So friend drinks, albeit chilled tin gin and tonics. Well, you know there are outdoors. You can't have everything. Beggars can't be choosers,

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like a

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gin and tonic in a tin junk. In the park, Good night. The Duchess Rudy pushed, blend onto the sofa and after a drink.

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Clearly good breeding doesn't lead to good manners. Thuh

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Duchess rudely pushed Belinda onto the sofa and offered her a drink. Belinda nervously poured the can down her by now parched throat. She was still feeling horny. I didn't think the new owner could give her what she craved even after the afternoon's events. Well, she wanted a butch man, and she's ended up with a dainty woman dressed in a frickin Panama hamam are fucking, I mean, who wears a Panama.

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She's done brilliantly, though not to any mud on her in that white linen.

Can we just talk about the fact that Belinda poured a drink down her throat from on high? Like she said, You're classy, lady. Straight down the gullet.

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Yeah, she's an upmarket woman. Quite a lot of the can didn't get down Belinda's throat, and you made sure the liquid trickle down her neck onto her breasts and then into a tummy button. Oh, where it pooled, overflowed and ran down the track of her black pubic hair. Have vagina

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sting, isn't it? And also is that some kind of vast using is ah, wound like Alka Holland? You know, internal bits. Yes, if you've got some kind of sore down that

sting, well, it's it's 11.

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And now I guess it's in the

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county. Oh, I guess it just into this. Do you just think of it as like the inside of a lady Oh, Theo Davis is

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lack of experience in said Region really is showing a not seem many, if any,

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being, don't have any. Oh, you don't know if you have it could have been watched, sure, but it was dark and it was very loud. It was glass debris in 2000 for

unusual,

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much to Belinda Surprise, the duchess murmured Waste not want not on probably licked the Gina Belinda states stomach anklets. Genuinely nowhere. Waste not want

Belinda Thought result but said nothing and let the doctors enjoy has slurping burping. It's not slush puppy, hoping this was setting the tone for the rest of the evening.

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Oh, she's happy now. Difficult should be called fickle. Belinda blinked.

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It was obvious that Duchess is enjoying this relationship. She cupped her free hand around Belinda's left breast whilst carelessly slopping the drink into her mouth.

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Nothing says sexy like slop.

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Seriously had enough servant, said the duchess, as we have to move on, or so James will be joining our little party. The duchess efficiently closed the tail door of the horse trailer to the char grin of the quickly assembled party of stable lands.

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What does char grin

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mean, as I literally don't even know what sharpen it kind of means disappointment, right? It's kind of like

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Also they the stable boys were looking from afar, but now

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they kind of wanted a piece of the action. I guess what cha gram means, right?

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Yeah, It's one of those words I've always read, rather than you props to Rocky for using words, props. Where did the day from Rocky,

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The doctor's efficiently closed the tail door, the horse trailer to the charge it of the quickly assembled party of stable lands, leaving Belinda reclining on the sofa on helping herself to another gin and tonic in comfort. It was just a CZ. Well, she could stretch out because the Duchess was not a competent driver. No, no, she hasn't got any gin and tonic.

Actually, she's not drinking. Enjoy them.

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Is this well? No. She did slip it off Linda's body.

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Well, then she's a bit a bit worse for wear. She's wasted. She's had vagina vagina.

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Dinner of you over a gin and tonic comes together

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in the end. Gross, she was no, a competent driver of the large four wheel drive vehicle plus trailer. I mean, who is? It's a hard thing to sack a

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lot of Kit

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Belinda lost count of the cut corners and Sudden Holt's as they drove through the country lanes to an exclusive motel, which had some private shall A's in the grounds.

At least she's being treated well.

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Really. Motel shall a CZ. The

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hotel is not the cheapest deacon get is

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being so glass half empty.

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Belinda wickedly hope the duchess was better fucking than driving me to Jesus and had a companion who could do both. Oh, and that's the end

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of a marriage. That was a long one. What a roller coaster? Yeah. Ah, lot was

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learned that not happened. Yeah, a lot of plots.

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Which is a new plot way, not

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characters plot. Hello is Rocky Flintstone.

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If you've been enjoying my dad wrote a porno this week, make sure you get in touch at dad. Wrote a porno on Twitter.

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Find some face because, well, my daughter a porno on by the original text. Belinda Blink. The book by Dad needs the cash will give. Clinton was trying brother conservatory. Please have

Speaker 2

and all extra proceeds go to the masses.

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to this thing