What Are Dr. Laura Markham's Three Keys to Parenting?
Shane Parrish opens The Knowledge Project interview by asking Dr. Laura Markham about the claim in her work. The three keys are to regulate your own emotions, reconnect with your kids, and coach instead of punishing. She starts with self-regulation. What matters most, she says, is who the parent is, not a list of tricks. Babies are born with unfinished emotional brains, and repeated time with a parent shapes them. If a parent can notice anger or anxiety and calm down, the child learns that a fight about getting out of the bath is not an emergency, and copies the calming. She calls that ability the factor with the greatest effect on who the child becomes.
From the transcript
all raised her voice and bribed our kids. Sometimes most of us who are self aware but that probably feel that something is not quite right and want to find better, more sustainable ways to connect with their kids. You claim the three keys to parenting are to regulate your own emotions, reconnect with your kids and coach instead of punishing.
Let's start with regulating our own emotions. Can you expand on that?
Well, the research seems pretty clear that what matters most in how kids turn out is who we are. His parents. It's It's not a set of strategies, right? It's a relationship in every relationship comes from two people having that relationship, and in our case, we're the the guidance. We're the role model were the already mature brain. Not that we're not still learning and growing we are.
