Why Did Jessica Hische Need Total Independence?

Jessica Hische needed total independence because insecurity made command of her own destiny the only way she felt secure. If everything blew up, she wanted a plan she could carry out herself.

Coming from a family without wealth, she did not understand that debt could be okay or that it could enable things. She bought cars in cash, paid off her student loans in two years, worked constantly, and ate free pizza from a bar that gave pizza if you got beer, because debt frightened her. Complete independence was fear of letting someone else have any say over her future. She trusted she could figure it out when she was in command, and she did not know what would happen if she only had to follow. She could not live her whole life that way or do everything, especially fun, interesting work, so letting go was essential once she was pretty far along. She had always known she wanted to be a parent and that her life would have to flex around parenting. Women going into more flexible fields because they know they will be parents is, in her account, apparently one of the biggest contributors to the wage gap, while men often stumble into a baby already well along a path chosen without children in mind.

After she got married, she could trust another person and no longer felt she had to contribute everything in the same way all the time. Her center of gravity shifted from constantly building the concrete pad underneath herself to a stable foundation, so she could guide her career and life around her interests instead of operating from fear.